


Rewrite the Stars

by ToxicParalysis



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Ballet, Best Friends, Character Death, Childhood Friends, College, Comfort, Consensual Kink, Crossdressing, Crossdressing Kink, DDLG, Daddy Kink, Dancing and Singing, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Dom/sub, Dom/sub Play, Domestic Fluff, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Dealing, Drug Use, Drug-Induced Sex, Drugged Sex, Drunk Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Female Ejaculation, First Kiss, First Relationship, First Time, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Guitars, Humanstuck, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Inspired by Music, Kink Discovery, Kink Negotiation, Light BDSM, Loss of Trust, M/M, Masturbation, Moresomes, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Music, Musicians, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Performance Art, Pet Names, Piano, Platonic Relationships, Praise Kink, Psychotropic Drugs, Recreational Drug Use, Rough Sex, Scent Kink, Self-Discovery, Sex Toys, Simultaneous Orgasm, Singing, Size Difference, Size Kink, Song Lyrics, Spanking, Squirting, Teasing, Theatre, Threesome - F/F/M, Threesome - F/M/M, Threesome - M/M/M, Touch-Starved, Trust, Trust Issues, Underage Drug Use, Underage Sex, Unhealthy Relationships, Violins, Voice Kink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:08:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 60,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25070659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToxicParalysis/pseuds/ToxicParalysis
Summary: John moves to a new city to start over. Karkat just wants to forget. A chance meeting of fate, two souls learning how to trust and love again. They will discover a way, together, to rewrite their stars.
Relationships: Aradia Megido/Karkat Vantas, Cronus Ampora/Kankri Vantas, Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Gamzee Makara/Karkat Vantas, John Egbert/Karkat Vantas, Kurloz Makara/Dave Strider, Kurloz Makara/Karkat Vantas, Meulin Leijon/Aranea Serket, Mituna Captor/Kurloz Makara, Nepeta Leijon & Equius Zahhak, Nepeta Leijon/Aradia Megido, Nepeta Leijon/Karkat Vantas, Sollux Captor/John Egbert, Sollux Captor/Karkat Vantas, Tavros Nitram/Vriska Serket
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. Resonance

**Author's Note:**

> *Lyrics/References listed at the end of each chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Human!stuck Musical Theatre AU

He could feel it the moment the dose hit, inhaling through his teeth and letting his head fall back to rest against the couch, staring up at the ceiling. He closed his eyes, rubbing his sweaty palm against his thigh as he remembered how to breathe. Each inhale was so deep, so satisfying, every exhale a galeforce wracking through his frame. He opened his eyes and watched the way the stipple twisted into recognizable shapes and patterns, the bass blasting from overhead numbing everything else but the creeping staticy sensation prickling up his forearms. He barely felt it when Dave pressed against his side, grinning from ear to ear, his eyes half-lidded as he leaned close and shouted over the bass, "I _knew_ you'd like that one, Karkat. I _knew_ you needed something _fun_."

It takes _everything_ for Karkat to turn and look at the albino, those soft pink bunny-eyes shining in the blacklight, turning his white hair neon blue. He flopped back against the couch and turned to his other side to paw at Kurloz, pulling the taller boy down for a sloppy kiss. Karkat watched them makeout for several long seconds before turning away from them again, his eyes drawn back up to the ceiling. The pulses of light hitting against the arch of the wall sent shadows across the textured surface, every rise and dip of the stipple crafting details akin to the craters of the moon. Karkat laid his head back and let the high take him wherever it deemed fit to go, suddenly increasing gravity strapping him in for the ride. He shivered and rolled his tongue over the hard candy tucked against his cheek, sucking on it and swallowing tropical flavored saliva, bursts of orange and yellow highlighting the dark shadows of the moon above.

Something curled against the back of his mind, tracing down the base of his skull and humming tenderly in harmony with the reverberating bass swamping the musty basement. Karkat exhaled shakily, blinking up at those expanding craters and trying to arch against that gravity that held him in a vicelock, unable to rise even an inch from the couch. He could feel her fingers, her breath, her touch as clearly as if she were with him now. When it was good like this it felt like she was with him again, tracing along his goosebumps with her cherry-red nails, giggling softly as she tripped along with him at his side, pointing out animals in the churning stipple. He could smell her shampoo. He clenched his hands reflexively, aching to twine their fingers together, finding purchase in the scratchy fabric of jeans and the fuzzy blanket strewn haphazardly across the arm of the couch instead.

Whining softly, he closed his eyes, blinking back tears, his chest suddenly too tight. Dave was there a moment later, his warm hands on him, tugging him down for a kiss. Karkat hummed, breathing softly against his lips as his mouth was claimed over and over, Dave tracing his pierced tongue against the curve of his pineapple candy before pulling away with a muted slurp. "I've got you, you're alright. I'm right here." He laced their fingers together and held on, nuzzling into Karkat's neck and sighing contentedly against his skin where his oversized hoodie was bunched up around his throat. "Let me make you feel good."

Karkat was never good at talking when he was like this, but he nodded his consent and blinked over at Dave as he shifted to tug up the dark fabric, pulling his hoodie up and over his head. Karkat rolled his candy to the other cheek and tucked it away again as Dave crawled into his lap, straddling his hips, and started grinding down against him while pressing soft kisses to his lips. His slim fingers found their way under Karkat's shirt and smoothed soft palms up his taut stomach, his hair tickling Karkat's nose and cheeks and he licked against his lips before delving inside once more. Kurloz watched with lazy interest, inhaling a deep drag from his joint and exhaling a thick cloud into the already hazy air. His dark indigo eyes were on them both as Dave slipped down Karkat's body and settled on the plush carpet between his legs, freeing him from his boxers and wasting no time in wrapping his lips around his cock.

Karkat moaned brokenly, arching his hips up a bit as Dave tugged his jeans down further, granting better access before taking him further into his mouth, breathing hotly through his nose while moaning around him. He bobbed and sucked, palming Karkat's testes and tugging gently as he took him deeper into his throat, Karkat closing his eyes and tossing back his head as he felt himself start to tense, heat coiling in his stomach.

"Dave, ah fuck I'm gonna…" He felt fingers weave through his dark hair, and he opened his blurry eyes to see Kurloz was leaning over him, watching him with a sultry smile. He leaned closer, lips hovering over Karkat's, and when he gasped and arched up against Dave's mouth with a sharp cry Kurloz claimed his lips, kissing him through his climax. He whined against his thick tongue, twitching as Dave swallowed around him and continued sucking, hot tears dripping down his cheeks as Kurloz kissed him slow and deep.

Relaxing into the couch, panting softly as afterglow washed over him from head to toe, Karkat felt Dave tuck him back into his boxer briefs before crawling up onto the couch again. Kurloz pulled back, still kneading against his fuzzy skull as Dave pulled him into a needy kiss, the albino whispering softly to the other boy so low Karkat couldn't hear. Kurloz pet his hair for a few moments longer before pulling his hand away, returning to making out with Dave, Karkat closing his eyes and sucking on his candy as he let his mind go black. The bass washed over him, and this time his chest didn't tighten, no thoughts of her came to mind, just pure unadulterated sensation. It traveled through him from the soles of his feet, up his legs and rattling in his kneecaps, before ascending to his hips and waist, soaring through his chest in staticky waves.

" _Stand up,  
You've got to manage_... _  
I won't sympathize,  
Anymore..._"

He opened his eyes slowly, grey stormcloud irises focusing on the moon stretching out far overhead. It was cold, the space too vast to truly comprehend. When he exhaled he could see his breath against the endless black, mingling with pinpricks of countless stars.

" _You're alright,  
There's nothing wrong...  
Self sufficiency please!  
And get to work..._"

He traced his fingertips against the bumps and ridges of the couch cushion beneath the blanket, dulled by the fluffy sensation of the hand-woven knitting. He poked his fingers through the breaks in the threading and his fingerpads scratched across the surface below. Not quite as scratchy as his jeans, but not as soft as it could have been either. This couch had been around for years, since he and Gamzee were kids. He'd spent years in and out of this basement. Game nights. Band practice. Getting high with his friends. Bingeing movies. Playing video games. Passing out drunk. This place felt like home. This place, like so many others, reminded him endlessly of Aradia.

" _You're on your own now,  
We won't save you…  
Your rescue squad,  
Is too exhausted..._"

He hummed softly and rolled the candy across his tongue again, drinking down his saliva and glancing towards Dave and Kurloz. He was riding the older boy, gasping prettily each time Kurloz angled his hips just right, Karkat blinking over at the joint he was offered. He fought against gravity to elevate a hand, taking it from Kurloz's fingertips and bringing it to his lips, inhaling and holding, feeling the plume thicken in his chest before exhaling nice and slow. Dave's voice rose higher as Kurloz started fucking him harder than before, both hands gripping his slim hips, those indigo eyes heavily lidded as he watched the boy in his lap, a little satisfied smile curling his lips. Karkat took another drag before offering the joint back, Kurloz reaching out and accepting it, resting back against the couch and watching as Dave worked himself over his cock, palming himself and jerking his hips down against his lap. His voice began rising higher and higher until he arched his back and climaxed, moaning loudly as he spilled against his hand and stroked himself through it, slicking himself with his own cum and shivering at the intensity of his assisted orgasm.

Kurloz watched him through a cloud of smoke, Dave panting harshly as he leaned in and kissed at his lips messily. He accepted the joint offered to him, taking a hit himself before Kurloz grabbed his hips again and started thrusting up into him, bouncing Dave on his lap quickly as he sought his own release. Dave wrapped his arms around his shoulders and mewled prettily each time his prostate was hit, clinging to his hoodie with one hand while holding the joint between his fingers with the other, the dealer inhaling sharply then slowly going still, Dave humming and rolling his hips down against him as he was filled. Kurloz exhaled softly, petting along Dave's side for a moment before tapping him twice gently, the boy hopping off and padding across the carpet to go clean himself up.

Kurloz watched him go with a little grin while tucking himself back into his jeans, looking over to Karkat and offering a place at his side, Karkat blinking over at him slowly before shaking his head. He was good right here, pressed against the arm of the couch. He couldn't move if he tried. Kurloz smiled and nodded then pushed himself up off the couch, grabbing a few empty bottles and tossing them in the glass bin before heading to the fridge and grabbing a couple bottles of water, opening one for himself and bringing one to Karkat, breaking the seal before handing it to the younger boy.

"Thanks, Kurloz…" Karkat managed, taking the water and sipping at it gingerly, not realizing how thirsty he was until he started to drink. Cottonmouth was a bitch, and the candy helped, but it still wasn't as simply satisfying as fresh water could be.

Dave returned to them a few minutes later, grabbing a soda from the fridge and humming to himself as he danced under the shifting neon lights. Eventually he turned, gliding over to the laptop nearby connected to the overhead surround-sound speakers, changing the soundtrack to something a little more upbeat. He downed his soda and tossed it in the direction of the recycling before turning to adjust his tripod and start recording. Karkat and Kurloz were out of the shot as he started dancing, recording a new video to post to his account, singing along as he touched himself provocatively.

Karkat could feel the change in the music shift against his skin, the upbeat pop a much different vibe than the deep, reverberating bass Kurloz loved to play. The dealer didn't seem to mind, his eyes trained on Dave as the albino snapped the tight band of his shorty-shorts against his plush ass and thighs, sliding the fabric down his legs while singing to the tripod with a wicked grin across his face.

" _Fifty-fifty, love the way you split it,  
Hunnid racks, help me spend it, babe  
Light a match, get litty, babe~  
That jet set, watch the sunset kinda, yeah, yeah,  
Rollin' eyes back in my head, make my toes curl, yeah, yeah~"_

Dave had been camming as long as Karkat had known him. He had helped him edit videos and set up scenes long before he'd gotten to be pretty popular in the twink scene. Now Dave did almost everything by himself. He made decent money too. Decent enough to keep a steady supply of fun recreational drugs on hand. A demand Kurloz was more than willing to provide.

" _Yeah, you got that yummy, yum  
That yummy, yum  
That yummy, yummy~"_

Karkat blinked over at the fishtank on the far wall, watching the little tetras swimming back and forth between faux seaweed and coral, hiding behind a bubbling treasure chest when Dave danced a bit too close.

" _Say the word, on my way  
__Yeah babe, yeah babe, yeah babe~  
__Any night, any day,  
__Say the word, on my way  
__Yeah babe, yeah babe, yeah babe~  
__In the morning or late  
__Say the word, on my way~_ "

He didn't realize Kurloz had handed him something until he felt a smooth, round object in his palm, looking down and seeing the older boy had given him a new piece of candy to suck on. He popped it in his mouth gratefully, the watermelon bright and sweet against his tongue, humming softly his thanks and leaning his head back against the couch again. Breathing slowly, he traced the convex and concave dips and rises in the plaster, the stipple no longer shadowed craters but azure waves on the beach. Neon yellow and orange light reflected brilliantly off the choppy water, the foamy waves tumbling clouds against golden-white sands. He arched his brow a bit and laughed softly against the candy rolling across his tongue, giddy and warm and relaxed. His eyes shifted back and forth, following the trails of light that danced across the sand and dipped into the water, the sound of Dave's music replaced with the distinctive breaks of tide lulling against the shore.

He wasn't sure how many hours it was before he started to come down again, groaning softly and rubbing at his eyes as he fought off a throbbing headache. Kurloz was gone, out dealing no doubt at this time of night, but Dave was there with snacks and more water to help him greet reality once more.

He chugged a bottle of water and tore through a bag of chips and gummy worms before deciding he was sober enough to drive, Dave bidding him a fond farewell as he started on his way home. The drive wasn't far, just a few blocks down the street. If they had lived in a safer neighborhood he would have just walked, but things as they were he would rather not walk around alone at night, still coming down from his high.

He didn't remember much about pulling into the drive and letting himself into his apartment, but he did remember the sensation of cold sheets wrapping around him as he drifted off to sleep. It was a weekend, and luckily he hadn't made any plans for the next morning. He could sleep in a bit before figuring out what he wanted to do with the rest of the day. Probably hang out with Dave again. He was always with Dave now that he was alone. He pushed that thought to the back of his mind, down deep where he didn't have to think about it, fighting off that creeping sadness that would quickly lead to an endless spiral and allowing his mind to go blank.

He always slept so soundly after a trip, so deep he didn't dream. He liked it better that way. It made the nights more bearable, at least. Even with the time that had passed he still found it hard to sleep without someone there beside him. Dave being close by helped. He knew he was only a few minutes away. Dave would even cuddle him if he wanted, but the albino was aromantic, and it just wasn't the same. He needed that connection, that closeness. Sex was great, but it wasn't what he truly craved.

It had been three years. Three years since the last time he heard her voice. Since the last time she said those three words. It was surreal, the sensation of her lingering presence. He recalled vividly the way her smile could light up a room, the way she brushed her hair through her fingers when she talked, the precision with which she applied ruby polish to her nails. Red had always been his favorite on her. She counterbalanced every aspect of himself he hated and filled it with overwhelming acceptance and adoration, pushing back the darkness around his heart, making him feel whole. Now she was gone. There was nothing he could do to bring her back. It didn't feel real, even now. It couldn't possibly be real.

He rolled over, tightening his hold on a pillow, his phone slipping from his pocket and falling with a soft thud from the mattress to the floor. It buzzed with unread text messages, the most recent messages flashing across the screen of his phone.

//Rufioh: Hey Karkat. It's been a while.

//Rufioh: Listen, I know you aren't interested in performing still, and you haven't been eager to hang out with us during the rebuild, but the theatre is officially reopening on Monday and I was hoping you might want to come by?

//Rufioh: I text Dave too, he said he would come if you wanted to too.

//Rufioh: Anyway, let me know sometime this weekend if you're dropping by.

//Rufioh: Later.

The screen flicked off a few seconds later, returning the room to total darkness, Karkat breathing evenly in his sleep. Outside, rain softly began to fall.

-x-x-x-

Terezi's fingers traced across the braille of her textbook, a little frown across her face as she tried to remember the lettering. She checked her reference sheet on the edge of the lapdesk and then returned to the textbook, tracing the dots slowly and piecing the words together. Her phone buzzed at her side again, distracting her, and she sighed heavily and reached for the device, speaking to the assistant as she pressed her thumb to the screen.

"Read all messages."

The phone beeped a confirmation to her request, then began reading aloud the new texts she had just received.

//Karkat: You will never guess who texted me last night.

//Karkat: I'll just go ahead and tell you because I know you're probably studying.

//Karkat: Rufioh.

//Karkat: About the rebuild.

//Karkat: He actually wants me to show up.

She sighed and pressed the button at the middle of her phone to submit a voice recording, the assistant transcribing her words as she spoke.

"Okay? What does that mean? Are you going to go or not?"

She tossed her phone aside and returned to her reading for a few minutes before her phone buzzed with a reply.

//Karkat: I don't really think going back to the theatre is an option for me.

Hmm. That was short, succinct. Too short for Karkat. She lifted her phone again, speaking as clearly as she could so the assistant would catch every word.

"Karkat. You love the theatre. I love it too. If Rufioh is inviting you back I'm sure the others are asking about you, and missing you too. The new school year is starting, there will be new recruits. Freshmen. Transfers. Don't you want to be a part of the productions? Don't you want to be an active member of the company again?"

She set her phone aside, stretching her arms over her head and listening to the sound of her IV tubing tapping softly against the tile floor. She tilted her head towards the other side of the room, listening to the soft beeping of monitors registering her vitals. She pressed against the pulse oximeter clamped against her forefinger absently before returning her attention to her phone, lifting the device and waiting for the assistant to read back the new texts.

//Karkat: What if going back makes it worse?

//Karkat: I can barely handle things as they are now, Terezi.

//Karkat: If it gets any worse, I'll break.

Her phone buzzed as the last message was read, and the assistant continued dictating.

//Karkat: Dave said he would go with me if I wanted to go.

//Karkat: Even with him there, I feel like it will just make it worse.

//Karkat: I miss everyone.

//Karkat: Of course there's a part of me that wants to be in the troupe again!

//Karkat: It's just. It's not that easy...

//Karkat: It makes me feel guilty even thinking about not showing up.

//Karkat: I want to see all of them, but just the thought of stepping foot inside the theatre again makes me feel sick.

There was a pause, and then a final message.

//Karkat: I'm afraid I'll see Aradia.

Terezi thought to herself for a moment, not sure how to reply. She had been right in the middle of the building when it collapsed, when the fires had burned through the support beams and the ceiling had rained down on her. She thought she'd been burned alive, or crushed to death, only to wake up blind and confined to a hospital bed. Aradia hadn't been so lucky.

If she could handle the thought of going back, after everything, after three years spent in a hospital bed, then she knew Karkat could make himself go back too. If it was something he truly wanted, he could do it. He just had to try. She lifted the device closer to her lips as she started recording, her voice terribly soft.

"I know you're afraid of seeing her there, Karkat. She would want you to come _home_. Don't you know that? You knew her so much better than anyone else, Karkat. Wouldn't she want you to try to live again?" She paused for a moment, then continued. "She loved watching you perform. Music makes you so happy, music has always meant _everything_ to you. As much as it means to me. Probably more. Can you at least try?"

She waited for a response, and waited, and waited. She frowned and tossed her phone aside, trying once more to concentrate on her braille texts. She checked the time. An hour passed, no response. Worried, she reached across the sheets, searching for the phone, and felt it buzz against her palm. She picked it up and unlocked it so the assistant could read aloud the reply.

//Karkat: Alright. I'll go on Monday.

//Karkat: If it sucks, I'm never going again.

Terezi smiled to herself, chuckling softly and clicking the middle button to reply.

"No matter what happens, promise me to tell me all about it since I can't see it for myself, alright?"

His reply came quicker this time, and though the assistant's programming was monotone, she could hear his smile through his words.

//Karkat: I'll take tons of pictures for the next time I come to see you, brat.

//Karkat: Miss you.

She grinned and took a deep breath, exhaling away her tension as she whispered softly, "Miss you too, Karkat."

-x-x-x-

John's eyes were wide as he looked between the tall campus dormitories and surrounding buildings, glancing down to check his map once again. He had found his way to the library successfully, spent a few hours gathering textbooks and materials for his new classes, and now he was on the hunt for the food court. He'd been familiarizing himself with the campus all morning, and it was already lunch time before he'd realized it. Shouldering his backpack, he started in the direction the map indicated, passing a large fountain with a statue in the middle, the bronze metal sweeping up in spiraling arches to form the boughs of a great tree. Different things were hung from the branches, charms and papier-mâché lanterns and multicolored cranes, several students clustered around the outer lip and chatting excitedly or hugging, excited to see one another again after summer break.

He knew no one here, he'd only just moved to this city a few weeks before, and he was as nervous as he could be behind his bright, friendly smile. He waved to a few girls who were watching him walk by, glancing forward just in time to avoid running into a tall boy who swerved out of his way on his skateboard, flipping him off as he went. Oh jeeze. This was overwhelming enough as it was, but being slightly lost was making his anxiety rage, John taking a few moments to steady himself before continuing on down the paved path. Food. Caffeine. Somewhere quiet to sit while he checked his syllabus. These good, calming things were all coming to him in the immediate future. He just had to focus on one thing at a time.

He was not expecting the chorus of cheering that started up in the large field nearby, John pushing his glasses up his bridge before pausing his steps to watch the uproar. There was a group of people gathered there, all wielding weapons and dressed in medieval garb, opposing one another before racing across the field to attack. John grinned and stepped closer to watch, walking across the lush grass and standing at the edge of the field where a few other students were sitting around observing the battle, laughing and clapping while cheering on the players.

A boy sat on a large blanket nearby, strumming his acoustic guitar and singing along with a girl who sat at his side, mending a costume with a needle and thread.

" _I met up with the king,  
__He confessed his body was burning.  
__I met up with the king,  
__His body had begun to rot."_

The girl glanced up at the guitarist, smiling as she harmonized with him while returning to her work.

" _And he said don't think less of me,  
__I'm still the same man I used to be."_

John's eyes widened, realizing he knew this song. He'd heard it before often in the small musical theatre of his hometown. He stepped closer slowly, listening to their voices while tapping his fingers against his pocket along with the beat.

" _But no one believed him,  
No one believed him."_

The boy glanced up at his approach, flashing a smile and nodding to him in greeting. The girl was still stitching, swaying back and forth as she reached for another bit of thread, and when the next verse began John started to sing along with them.

" _I once knew a pretty girl,  
And she was in love with the world."_

The boy's eyes widened and he nodded happily, continuing to play while he let John sing, the girl at his side looking up with a little smile as she harmonized with John's voice.

" _And she loved a young man,  
Who loved her body but never saw her mind.  
He took everything she had kept,  
And then he took everything else that was left.  
__But no one believed her,  
__No one believed her."_

The boy gestured to a spot at his side, John letting his backpack slide from his shoulder as he sat down on the blanket beside him, the guitarist leaning in a bit closer as he listened to John's voice. The girl with him watched the two boys interact, falling silent, listening to John's voice as well. John looked between them, then continued softly along with the guitar.

" _I feel just like the king,  
__As I fall on the muddy ground.  
__I feel just like you, gal…"_

The two listening exchanged a glance before starting in again, harmonizing with his vocals.

" _There's people thinking  
__They know something now.  
__Well I don't know anything at all,  
__And we mean nothing to history?  
__Well thank God!"_

They were all excited smiles and happy nods as they harmonized the final verse, John shivering at the goosebumps that seared up his arms. Damn, they sounded so good together. He couldn't believe he'd stumbled upon them on his first day here.

" _So tell me do you believe me?  
__Do you believe me?  
__I bet you don't,  
__I bet you won't…"_

The boy strummed the final chords then let out a happy cheer and reached out a hand to John, laughing while shaking his hand. "Hey man, nice to meet you! I'm Rufioh!"

John smiled back just as brightly, shaking his hand for a moment before looking to the girl sitting beside them. She nodded her head in greeting. "My name is Aranea."

"John! It's nice to meet you too." He looked down at the map he was holding, then offered it to the other two with a little awkward laugh. "Could you uh, show me where we are? I kinda got lost on my way to the food court."

"Ooo, new kid huh? You a freshman?" Rufioh asked, laying out the map and finding their spot by the fountain, pointing to it with a little flourish. "Don't worry, you'll get used to campus quick enough. What you should _really_ be interested in finding is this place right _here_!" He pointed to the other side of campus, to a small building behind the art dormitory. It looked like a stage of some kind, perhaps home to one of the extensive campus' extracurricular clubs?

John brought the map closer, adjusting his glasses as he looked back to the older boy. "What is it? A theatre?"

"The newly rebuilt and refurbished community theatre! Just opened back up after three years!" He beamed happily, strumming at his guitar while he spoke. "Took us _ages_ to scrounge up the funding, even after the insurance paid out." Aranea hummed and nodded softly, beginning to mend another area of the costume while Rufioh added on, "We're looking for new members actually, if you're interested?" John met his eyes, the boy leaning closer eagerly. "With a voice like _that_ , you should _definitely_ come by and check it out! It's a lot of fun!"

John nodded slowly, looking down at the building again on the map, hesitating for a moment before asking, "Are you only recruiting freshmen? I'm actually a junior, I just transferred here. I moved to the city a few weeks ago." He tucked his legs under himself a bit and shifted back on his heels. "I'm staying nearby at my cousin's place, so I'm not living in the dorms. I could still meet up for practices whenever, if that's not a problem?"

"Yeah, of course!" Rufioh cheerily replied, clapping him on the shoulder. "We gladly accept anyone who's interested in theatre and music! You seem like you've had some experience before?"

John nodded, "I was in a small theatre troupe in my hometown. It's a much, _much_ smaller place than this." He gestured all around, at the buildings and fields surrounding them. "We didn't have a proper theatre really, just the gymnasium at the high school."

Rufioh winced, "Oof, those acoustics must have been _harsh_." He looked to Aranea, who seemed to be finishing up her last stitch, reaching for a pair of scissors and trimming the excess from the ends. "Well we were just thinking about heading for some lunch and then going back to the theatre. Did you wanna come with?"

Blue eyes widening, John couldn't help the big smile that crossed his face, his cheeks hot with both happiness and embarrassment. "Uh, yeah! Yeah I mean, that would be great! Thanks for inviting me!"

Rufioh stood to his feet, offering John a hand and helping him up as well, then assisting Aranea in packing up the blanket and gathering up crafting supplies before heading towards the food court. It didn't take John long to become comfortable around the older boy, he reminded him a bit of his older cousin Jake and it calmed his nerves better than anything else could have.

They took their burgers with them as they began trekking across the expanse of lawn stretching out behind the art building, the domed theatre arching high above the trees nearby. The small birch trees looked rather poorly, those that were standing anywhere close by seemed to be recovering from being burnt within the past few years. Most of their leaves were missing on one side, and there was a distinctive ring of grass around the theatre that looked like it was still regrowing. It must have caught fire at some point in time for the surrounding area to look like this. John couldn't imagine what a sight it must have been immediately after the inferno.

Glancing up at Rufioh, John asked for clarification, "Was there a fire here?"

Rufioh nodded, his eyes roaming the few trees still standing nearby. "Yeah. A big one."

"Oh." John's voice was quiet, and Rufioh didn't add onto his words, Aranea stepping ahead of them a bit to meet a girl near the doors who was adjusting a poster across one of the large wooden panels. Between the two of them they secured it properly across the door, taping it up and stepping back to admire their work. It was a large grand reopening poster, with several paragraphs about productions that had taken place in the past and a recruitment for anyone interested in joining the community musical theatre.

Aranea turned and beckoned John closer, gesturing to the poster and pointing out the section to sign if interested. The girl at her side offered him a sharpie, giving him a soft smile as she tucked some of her long, dark brown hair behind her ear, watching him with big olive-green eyes. John grinned and uncapped the sharpie, signing his name below a few others signatures, adding his cell phone number to the column at the end for contact information. He returned the sharpie to her, and she lifted her hand and brought it forward with a smile, signing her thanks. She watched him for a moment before turning and walking away, Aranea following after her.

John watched them go, standing in the threshold of the theatre just inside the open double-doors, Rufioh stepping up to his side while saying, "That's Meulin, Aranea's girlfriend." He beckoned John along with him as he made his way inside. "Do you know how to sign?"

He followed after the older boy, his eyes looking around the giant auditorium with awe, his eyes flitting across the extensive rafters of the vaulted ceiling. There was a system of sophisticated rigging high above the stage, framed with walkways for stagehands to access the stage lighting. He could make out the various counterbalances and background drops here and there, several catwalks intersecting and stretching across the ceiling, half-hidden by the giant curtains drawn back before the elevated platform of the main stage. "I know a few basics." John replied, Rufioh taking the stairs to the side stage and walking out across the large platform towards the center, John staying on the ground floor and watching.

"You'll learn more here, we have several in the troupe who use ASL." He clapped his hands together a few times and John watched as several new faces appeared from around corners and backdrops, heading for the stage to listen. "Okay guys! I know everything's a bit crazy right now but I'd like to introduce a few of our new members!" He looked to John first, nodding with a wide smile. "Care to introduce yourself? Give us a little of your background?"

John turned away from the stage so Rufioh was at his back, noting those that had drawn closer and gathered around him. "Oh uh, hi everyone! My name's John, it's nice to meet you. I just moved here, I'm a junior and I'm a Performing Arts major." He laughed awkwardly, not sure what else he should say. "I like dancing, and photography. I think my favorite productions are probably _Phantom of the Opera_ and _RENT_."

Rufioh clapped, starting a round from those gathered on the floor and those that were standing beside him on the stage, including Aranea and Meulin. "Very nice! Excellent choices! Alright, who's next?"

"My name is Kanaya." John turned towards the voice, noticing the pretty, tall girl standing nearby with deep jade eyes and dark lipstick. "I am a freshman. I am working on a double major in Fine Arts and Music, focusing on a cappella and opera." She looked around the room, giving a soft smile and adding, "My favorite productions are _Wicked_ and _Les Miserables_."

Another round of applause, and then the petite, curvy girl next to her spoke.

"Hello everyone! My name is Feferi!" She waved with both hands, smiling big, her long dark curls bouncing as she swayed happily. "I'm a freshman too! I love acrobatics, ribbon dance, and aerials!" She clasped her hands together, giggling excitedly while adding on, "I'm majoring in Dance with classical training in ballet! My favorite performances are _The Nutcracker_ and _Romeo and Juliet_ , though for musicals I would have to say _Into the Woods_! It's simply _charming_!" She looked to the boy standing beside her, nudging him gently when he didn't opt to speak.

He sighed softly, adjusting his square-frame glasses for a moment before saying quietly, "I'm Eridan. I'm majoring in Film Production, focusing on screenplay writing and directing. I recently finished my AA, and was originally focusing on Acting, but changed my major this year." He looked up towards the stage, John following his gaze to see a pale, lean boy was watching intently, his arms crossed leisurely over his chest, a screenplay in hand.

"Do you have any experience writing your own work?" He asked, Rufioh looking over at him with a little nervous smile.

"Kankri, don't scare the kids. They're here to have fun, not step on your toes, okay?"

The shorter boy frowned as he cast his eyes over at the guitarist, and in the light his red eyes sparkled like rubies, accented against his pale skin and his bright red sweater. "Honestly, do you think I'm trying to scare off our new recruits already? I'm genuinely curious, that's all." He looked down at Eridan again, the two boys staring one another down before the freshman spoke.

"I've written some. Nothing officially published."

"Hmm." Kankri mused, shifting through his screenplay absently. "Favorite musicals?"

Eridan paused, then replied, " _Sweeney Todd_ , and _Rocky Horror_."

Kankri's lips turned up into a little amused grin and he nodded approvingly, turning to Rufioh and asking, "Alright then! You've done well for our first day back. Four new recruits? That's almost as many as we've lost. Now if only we could find some consistent stagehands, we'd practically be back in business."

Rufioh nodded while pulling out his phone, checking his text messages while exhaling a soft, "Yeah yeah…"

John watched the older troupe members on stage before turning and looking at the girls standing beside them, asking softly, "Did you all already get introduced to everyone else?" Kanaya and Feferi both leaned in a bit closer so they could speak with John quietly.

"Yes, we've been here since this morning." Kanaya said, offering her hand which John shook lightly. "It's nice to meet you. I look forward to working with you." Her dark hair framed her cheeks perfectly, her deep jade eyes patient and kind. "As an opera singer myself, I found your choice of musicals most agreeable. If there's ever anything you'd like to practice, please don't hesitate to ask."

John grinned back at her, nodding as he replied, "Yes! Nice to meet you too! Ah, and the same goes for me, if you'd ever like to perform anything! I love _Wicked_ and _Les Miserables_ as well!"

Feferi was practically bubbling with excitement, letting out a hushed giggle behind her hand as she nodded excitedly. "I'd love to sing with both of you! Please let me know, anytime! I can _barely_ get Eridan to sing with me, even when I ask _so_ nicely!" She pouted and turned towards the other boy who was standing quietly beside her, his arms over his chest as he eyed the troupe members on stage, not opting to join in on their conversation. Feferi returned her attention to John and Kanaya instead, her curls bouncing as she took a step forward. "Did you hear that this place burned to the ground a few years ago? Rumor has it that someone started the fire on _purpose_ and got arrested for arson! One of the members of the troupe is still hospitalized, and another girl got trapped in the fire and _died_!"

John's eyes were wide, glancing over at Kanaya. "Whoa. Really? That's insane…" He shifted his backpack against his shoulder, adding softly, "I didn't even know this campus had a theatre at all. The building isn't marked clearly on the map, it just looks like any old building out behind the others. Thought maybe it was an office or something. If Rufioh hadn't pointed it out to me, I wouldn't have even paid attention to it."

Kanaya nodded, "It's true, there wasn't a record of the theatre at all in the campus brochures. They'd removed it completely from the list of extra credit electives offered on campus." She looked between Feferi and John. "If it weren't for my sister mentioning they were reopening, I wouldn't have known about this place either. She was in the troupe years ago, before the fire."

"Wow…" Feferi exclaimed softly, glancing up again when clapping from the stage drew their attention, looking up to see Kankri had replaced Rufioh in taking the initiative to speak.

"Okay everyone! I think it's best we start out by way of rehearsal auditions. Early placement is key in discovering our troupe's dynamics." He fanned out his script and grinned down at thim, his eyes gleaming. "I want to hear your pretty little voices with my own two ears so I can visualize what roles you'd be most apt to play." He pointed between each of them as he spoke. "Soprano, Mezzo-Soprano, Alto, Tenor, Baritone, Bass...let's hear each of you _sing_!"

He turned and whacked Rufioh's chest with the screenplay, the taller boy lifting his hands defensively and backing away from the center of the stage. Aranea and Meulin were signing back and forth while walking off towards the backstage, a few others who had gathered around standing back a bit to watch. Kankri turned to each of them, giving them instructions one at a time.

"Equius! If you could _please_ ready us some lighting for visual effect, that would be most appreciated. Horuss, I know you're not one to stand around and watch but if you could help Rufioh with finishing his _assignment_ that would be _most_ helpful. Tavros!" He walked across the stage as he spoke, the boy in question pointing to himself as Kankri nodded and gestured towards him. "Yes yes, I know you're not officially part of the troupe, but whilst you're here, could you be a doll and help Equius with the rigging. We're short a few stagehands and he could _really_ use some assistance."

The boy frowned a little, but before he could state his argument Kankri was moving on, smacking his screenplay against the last boy's chest loudly, the tall greaser wincing under his gaze, smoothing his palms nervously against his leather jacket.

"And _you_ , Cronus. You stay out of the way and let them do their work. No singing along, I need to hear _them_ , not _you_. Understood?"

"You're the boss, Kanny." The boy grinned, combing his fingers through his slicked hair, the smaller boy frowning up at him.

"Don't _call_ me that! It's _Kankri_!" He whacked him again for good measure, then as a spotlight appeared in the center of the stage, Kankri turned towards the new recruits watching him. He stepped closer to the front of the stage, grinning wickedly. "Now then my little cygnets, which of you shall become my new leading swans?"

-x-x-x-

Rufioh left Kankri to do his usual sorting, stepping down from the platform and walking backstage to the small office tucked away behind all the props and backgrounds, waving to Aranea and Meulin as he went. It was always like this every year with the new recruits, and in the three years that had passed since they'd had any additional members Kankri had been going a little stir crazy. They all had. It was unlike a theatre troupe to stand still. There had been an acute feeling of restlessness that had grown amongst them over the years during the fundraisers, and initial construction, and eventually the final rebuild. He was certain the exasperated director was _dying_ to sink his teeth into the new troupe members. Rufioh was eager to get started as well.

He left the office door open as he went to his desk, sighing and sitting down in the plush office chair, staring at the stacks of papers piled atop the surface, checking his phone again for the nth time since that morning. If Karkat wasn't going to show, why did he bother replying in the first place? Saying he would show up and then bailing on them, that hurt worse than him not replying at all.

Frowning at the device, he opened his messages and reread them, then decided he would text Dave at least. The albino had always been good at answering his phone. He kept the messages small, not wanting to seem desperate to recruit them. They had all been through a lot, Karkat the most out of all of them, and he didn't want to pressure him into coming back if it was truly not something the boy wanted to do. Dave replied almost instantly, Rufioh blinking down at the messages.

//Dave: Hey bossman, yeah we're at the food court.

//Dave: Had to grab come coffee for KarKitty.

//Dave: You know how he is on Mondays.

Rufioh smiled, nodding to himself and glancing towards the doorway when he heard footsteps approach. He sighed and relaxed back into his chair as Horuss stepped in, giving him a curious look to which the guitarist replied, "Yeah, apparently they're here. Just taking their sweet time on making an entrance."

"That's good. It will be nice seeing them again. Have you asked Dave about coming back to work as a stagehand with Equius?" He settled down on one of the couches nearby, his dark skin a stark contrast to his deep blue eyes. "He's good, my brother. Rigging and lighting come naturally to him, but a stage of this size...it's impossible to work the catwalks alone."

"I know." Rufioh said softly, resting his face in his hands. "I don't expect him to be able to handle our fly system solo. Even I couldn't do that much." He sighed softly, glancing towards the open door. "I asked Dave, but you know how much things have changed. He's living with Kurloz now, after Gamzee…" His voice trailed off, his eyes drifting over to meet Horuss' again. "Karkat too. They spend a lot of time with Kurloz. I don't...know if it will be good, having them back here. I don't know if they're in the best mindset to interact with the rest of the troupe. Part of me hopes that inviting them back might dissuade them from doing...whatever it is they're doing." He laughed softly, rising from his chair and shoving his hands in his pockets, stepping across the room and plopping down beside Horuss, looking up at him with his brow arched. "I care about them both. I hate seeing them hurting like this. Do you think...we could convince them both to come back to us? It's what Aradia would have wanted, isn't it?"

Horuss hummed, thinking for a long moment. When he replied his tone was deep and soft. "I think Aradia would have wanted Karkat to be happy, yes. It always felt like they were happiest when they were here, with us. Singing, dancing, performing." He looked down at Rufioh, adding, "I agree we should keep an eye on them. Rumors of the events over the past three years have filtered across campus and bounced between all of us, but we have no way of knowing how much is true and how much is an exaggeration. Before casting judgement we should focus on rekindling our friendships, and then...if the time comes where we have to ask them to leave…" He nodded, his expression soft, "I will support you 100% as always. I trust you to make the right decision. We all do."

Rufioh inhaled sharply, tilting his head back and blinking a bit to clear his vision. "Hoh boy. Didn't expect that to make me emotional." He sniffed a bit and then looked to Horuss, clapping him on the shoulder and giving him a grin. "Alright well, let's be there when they arrive. Or did Kankri send you in here to force me to work on all that damnable paperwork." He glanced to the desk, eyeing it warily, Horuss' deep, reverberating chuckle vibrating through him.

"I think we can prioritize for now. Let's greet Karkat and Dave, and welcome them home." Rufioh nodded, getting to his feet and heading towards the front doors, Horuss following quietly behind him.

The sound of a cappella singing echoed throughout the domed theatre, Rufioh turning to look at the stage as he saw John standing in the spotlight, belting out each note with perfect pitch, the guitarist whistling softly as Horuss came to stand beside him. "Damn, that kid can sing."

"Who is that?" a familiar voice asked, and Rufioh turned towards the open doorway to see Karkat and Dave, both with coffees in hand, Karkat stepping closer to the stage while Dave trailed slowly behind. The albino stopped at Rufioh's side, flicking his pink eyes up with a little amused smile as he nodded towards his companion. Rufioh turned to watch Karkat, the boy standing totally still as he listened to John singing out across the empty stage.

"One of our new recruits. He just wandered up to me while we were watching the LARP club's first match and started singing with me and Aranea." He grinned and stepped forward a bit, looking down at Karkat. "He's pretty good, right?"

"Yeah…" Karkat's voice was soft, his stormy eyes fixed on the boy in center stage, capturing each movement, each gesture, his breath caught in his throat.

That was...one of her songs. From _Phantom of the Opera._ It was beautiful in her voice, but in _his_ it felt...different. It sent chills up his spine. He stepped closer, away from Rufioh, lingering at the edge of the first row of seats, transfixed by the boy before him.

" _Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime,  
__Let me lead you from your solitude.  
__Say you need me with you here, beside you,  
__Anywhere you go, let me go too  
__Love me, that's all I ask of you._ "

Kanaya sang softly up to him from the first row of seats, echoing his words.

" _Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime  
__Say the word and I will follow you._ "

John smiled down at her, holding out his hand with a sweeping wave and harmonizing as they shared the spotlight.

" _Share each day with me, each night, each morning.  
__Say you love me, you know I do,  
__Love me, that's all I ask of you."_

Kankri was watching from the edge of the stage, fanning himself with his screenplay and looking absolutely pleased as punch. This was going to be an excellent year for their troupe. They were coming back with a perfect _bang_. He couldn't be more giddy if Rufioh had brought him back a Cocker Spaniel puppy from that LARP session. _Bravo_.

He let his eyes wander down the stage and towards the boy standing nearby, his eyes widening. Was that... _Karkat_? He looked to the door, noting Rufioh and Horuss were standing by Dave, Kankri shaking his head in utter disbelief and fanning himself faster. These kids were going to be the death of him, his heart could not take much more excitement than this.

He focused back on the two singing before him, biting his bottom lip. He was utterly _reeling_ and he _had_ to keep it together. He knew from experience. Show any weakness in front of the freshmen and they would eat you _alive_. He glanced over at Eridan, the boy's face set into a permanent frown, complete opposite of Feferi's ecstatic smile directly beside him. Case and point. He calmed his composure, exhaling softly and watching John and Kanaya as they finished the final verse.

" _Anywhere you go, let me go too,  
__Love me, that's all I ask of you._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics in order of appearance:
> 
> Björk - Army of Me  
> Justin Bieber - Yummy  
> First Aid Kit - I Met Up With The King  
> Phantom of the Opera - All I Ask Of You
> 
> Thanks for reading! More to come!


	2. Chemistry

"So? How was it?" Terezi asked, repositioning the pillows behind her into a better sitting position.

Karkat glanced up at his best friend for a moment before returning his attention to his phone, exhaling softly. "It was...alright, I guess? It's definitely different. They changed the layout to make it appeal to more modern audiences. It's less old-school amphitheatre and more giant cinema now, if you ask me."

"Oh jeeze." Terezi laughed, her fingers flitting across the extended tubing of her IV, making sure it wasn't tangled beneath the sheets before she relaxed back against the pillow pile again. "Did Kankri talk Rufioh into that gaudy red upholstery he's absolutely obsessed with?"

Karkat huffed out a soft laugh, shaking his head. "Nah, not quite that bright. It's more of a deep crimson wine color. Not terrible when the lights are on the stage instead of seating."

"Wow, must look a lot different. For years we had navy blue."

Karkat hummed a soft reply, flicking through his phone for a moment longer before beginning to play the recording he'd taken several hours ago. "Here's one of the new girls, Kanaya. She sounds like an opera singer. She doesn't need a mic at all with those pipes."

Terezi listened to the recording, tapping her fingers against her thigh lightly to match the beat, Karkat watching her with wandering eyes. Her face was freshly bandaged after a skin-graft, her nasal cannula administering a constant oxygen supply. The IV attached to her arm and the feeding tube embedded into her side giving her hydration and nutrients she couldn't otherwise consume. She could still barely speak after three years, her harsh, broken whispers now strong enough that she could speak several sentences together without gasping for breath. Karkat remembered how it had been at the beginning, when she'd finally woken from her coma. She'd made so much progress. She was so strong.

He hadn't realized the recording had ended until Terezi spoke up, asking, "You said there was another girl there too, right?"

Karkat clicked through his recordings until he located the next segment, playing it for Terezi while saying softly, "Yeah, Feferi. It threw me off at first, seeing her up on stage under the spotlight. She looks a lot like Aradia." He listened to the recording for a few moments before saying softly, "Their personalities are really similar too. She's bubbly and sweet, and there's this grumpy kid she's apparently dragging along with her who's _obviously_ only there because he's got a _massive_ crush on her. He sings pretty good too though, for not being interested in performing."

Terezi smiled a bit, listening to the recording before asking quietly, "Did you say hi to her?"

"What? No." Karkat said, frowning. "I didn't say hi to any of them. I just listened and then talked to Rufioh and Horuss." His voice dropped a bit. "After the newbies left I went and said hi to everyone else. It was...weird. They were weird. Like I was gonna break if they spoke too loud or something."

"Well you _have_ been avoiding them for the past three years, Karkat. Give them some time to warm back up to you again." Terezi reached over, finding his hand and squeezing his fingers lightly. Her pulse oximeter was cold against his skin. "I'm sure they're just as on edge as you are."

"Yeah…" Karkat sighed, pulling away just long enough to start playing the next recording before pressing his fingers once more to her hand, stroking his thumb against her cool skin. "You warm enough? You need another blanket?"

"I'm fine, Karkat. Really." She laughed and squeezed his hand, adding teasingly, "You don't have to fuss over me every time you come to visit. Latula does that enough for the both of you."

"Oh yeah, your burn unit friend. Where is she today anyway?" He glanced around the hospital room, looking to the empty beds nearby. None of them looked like they'd been slept in the night before. "You been all by yourself?"

"She's having another surgery to try to restore her sense of smell and taste." She said softly, tracing her fingertips along Karkat's long phalanges. "She has to stay in a special clean room after. She should be back in a few days."

He hummed a soft reply, then played the next recording on his phone, making a small sound of surprise. "Oh yeah, this is the new guy, John, and Kankri singing together. This one is actually really good." He paused to let Terezi here, before adding on, "Cronus sang with him later too, he matches everyone's pitch really well. Very fluid transitions from one partner to the next."

Terezi tapped her fingers along to the beat, nodding her head a bit and asking softly, "Have you thought about singing with him yourself?"

Karkat didn't reply, quiet as he listened to the recording. When it finally ended, he tossed his phone onto the bed before him and leaned in to rest his head against the mattress, crossing his hands over the back of his head. "I don't know. I don't...want to sing with anyone else. I want to sing with you, with Aradia…"

Terezi reached over, smoothing her palm against his arm and finding the top of his head, petting through his hair gently with her three outer fingers, careful not to catch the pulse ox clamped onto her pointer finger in his dark locks. "Karkat, buddy. You're my best friend, and I love you to death, but I could kick your _ass_ for refusing to sing for these past few years. Even to _me_ , when we're _alone_ , you won't sing! You've got a _beautiful_ gift and you're just…" She exhaled softly and took a deep inhale, calming her nerves and waiting a few moments before speaking again. "I know it hurts you, it reminds you of Aradia. I know you wish it was me and her instead of these new freshmen you don't know yet. Give them a chance to get to know you." She pet his hair slowly, rubbing gentle circles with her fingertips and kneading against his skull. "You're an amazing person, and on top of that you're a brilliant artist. Anyone would want to sing with you once they've heard your voice. You were Kankri's prodigy _swan_ for years." She laughed softly at that, adding, "I can't imagine the look on his face when you and Dave walked back through those doors. He must have been slack-jawed. He's always so dramatic."

"Oh, he had his poker face on in front of the newbies so I didn't get to see much of that. By the time they left and it was just us, I think the surprise had worn off." He looked towards her, his voice muffled a bit against his arm. "Tavros was there too. I guess he was helping since Equius is the only stagehand they've got now. Rufioh asked Dave if he would come back and help. He asked me if I might consider helping too, since I'm not really wanting to perform anymore."

Terezi continued petting him gently, offering him a little smile. "Is that something you'd be interested in doing?"

Karkat tilted his face back towards the sheets again, closing his eyes and relaxing under her touch. "I dunno. I mean...the catwalks are laid out in almost the same design as before, and from watching Equius and Tavros it looked like it would be a lot easier for them if they had an extra set of hands. It just...reminds me of Gamzee. Gives me bad vibes, y'know?"

Terezi was quiet, then asked, "Have you visited him? Since?"

"No. One time was enough for me. I'll never visit him there again." Karkat shuddered at the memory. "Seeing him in a straightjacket, in a padded room, mumbling deliriously while sedated. It was like something out of the movies, it didn't even feel real. I don't even know why I went." He laughed to himself, shaking his head. "They told me even before I got there they wouldn't let me anywhere near him, and he wouldn't respond to me. I was stupid. I just...I missed him." He clenched his fists, his voice tight. "Seeing him like that was too much for me to take. I won't do that to myself again."

"Good." Terezi's voice was kind, her touch light. Karkat looked up at her, lifting his head from the mattress, shifting closer to her and turning her hand to kiss her palm, her fingers petting against his cheek. She hummed softly, tracing his features, her thumb brushing against his lips. "I love you, Karkat." She whispered softly, "Thank you for coming to see me. I miss you when you're gone."

"I love you too, Terezi." He whispered, closing his eyes, focusing on her touch, trying to ignore the beeping monitors and the chatter of the nurses in the hallway. For a moment, just a moment, he wanted to forget. He scrunched his brow, fighting that telltale pinch of tears and inhaling shakily as he kissed her hand once more. "I'll bring you more audio clips next time, okay? The acoustics from the rafters will be great, and if I'm working with Dave then...it'll keep me distracted, right?" He sounded confident, like he was trying to convince her he was making the right decision, and maybe convince himself as well. "I _should_ work there, be an extra stagehand, help out the troupe. They've always been there for me, even when I pushed them away. It would be nice to feel like I'm a part of that family again."

Terezi smiled brightly, reaching over with her other hand and cupping his cheeks, careful with her fresh bandages as she shifted her arm. "You better tell me every single day how much fun you're having so I can live vicariously through you. I want all the details, every last bit, no matter how small!"

Karkat laughed softly and pulled away gently, getting to his feet and grabbing his bag from the floor. "Yeah, alright. It's a deal. I'll tell you about theatre and you keep getting better, no matter what. You've got another series of skin grafts this coming weekend, right?" His voice was soft as he leaned down and pressed his hand over hers, his voice impossibly soft. "Promise you'll text me as soon as you're awake?"

Terezi tugged him closer, reaching up with her unbandaged arm and wrapping it around his neck, giving him a gentle half-embrace. "I promise."

-x-x-x-

John couldn't believe a week had passed so quickly. He'd been at the theatre every day, getting better acquainted with his new troupe, practicing with his peers, doing homework on breaks, and sharing meals with Kanaya, Feferi, and Eridan. The girls were friendly enough, though Eridan seemed standoffish around everyone except for Feferi. John thought at first they might be dating, but he was quickly made aware of just how untrue that assumption was when Feferi and Kanaya started chatting about dating.

"Aren't they just the _cutest_?" Feferi squealed softly, shoving another forkful of pasta into her mouth, humming around the bite before swallowing it down and continuing. "I mean, I've _never_ seen an albino boy before! His pink eyes are just like a bunny-rabbit's!"

Kanaya laughed softly, taking a bite of her pasta as well. "I was thinking the same about his friend, the quiet one with the grey eyes? I've never seen irises of such colour." She hummed to herself thoughtfully, twirling her fork in her pasta before parting her dark lips for another bite. She chewed slowly, tapping her fork against the air pointedly. "The only way I can describe them is storm-grey. Like rain clouds." She looked to Eridan, the boy quiet as always, frowning a little as he poked at his ravioli. "Well, Eridan? What about you? Any cuties caught your eye?"

"Feferi's the cutest one there." Eridan said, completely monotone, the girl beside him giggling softly and slapping at his chest gently.

" _Eri_ we _really_ need to find you a girlfriend, sweetie." She sighed and helped herself to another bite of her pasta, before adding, "Come on, I bet you think that Aranea girl is pretty, right? With the short prussian-blue hair and glasses? I heard she has a _twin_!"

Eridan made a disinterested noise, John arching his brow sympathetically. Feferi must be completely clueless that Eridan was trying to flirt with her. He wondered how long they had been friends. Feferi turned to John next, her fuschia eyes shining brightly against her amber skin, her dark curls bouncing against her freckled shoulders. "What about you John? What's your type?"

"Uh, I…" He laughed nervously, setting down his fork and reaching for his water, taking a few sips before clearing his throat and hesitantly answering her question. "I mean, I haven't really dated much so I don't really...have a type. I guess?"

Kanaya watched him for a moment, a little smile curving up the corners of her lips. "What's your sexuality?"

John met her eyes, searching them for a moment before replying, "I'm pan."

She nodded approvingly, gesturing to herself. "I'm sapio. It takes a lot for me to build a connection with someone, enough to actually want to date. Romance aside, aesthetically speaking, you must like _something_ specific, right?" She smiled at him, friendly and open. "Do you have any preferences?"

John thought for a moment, then said softly, "I guess...yeah, I would say...the stagehands are all pretty cute." He thought about them each in turn, trying to pick out any specific characteristics he liked. "The boy that was there the first day, Rufioh's little brother? He was short, and kind of stocky. I guess I would say he's _really_ cute…"

"Ooo how _adorable_!" Feferi said, clapping excitedly and looking at Eridan, who still looked bored, not invested in the conversation one little bit. She frowned a little, then asked cheekily with a big smile,"What about _you_ , Eridan? Should I be trying to find you a _boyfriend_ instead?"

"I'm heterosexual, Feferi." He said, looking over at her deadpan as he speared a ravioli, bringing it to his lips and taking a bite. "I'm also demiromantic, so. Good luck with that."

She groaned softly, propping her cheek on her palm, poking at her pasta for a moment before taking another bite. "I really wish you'd be more agreeable. Every time I introduce you to someone you end up running them off, grumpy butt!"

"Perhaps we could solve the problem, if _you_ would simply date me instead."

"Eridan you're like a _brother_ to me!"

"Given the chance, I'm almost _certain_ I can change your mind about that."

"Oh my _gosh_ you're such a _perv_ sometimes!"

Kanaya looked to John, the two exchanging an awkward laugh before Kanaya leaned a little closer and said softly, "Rufioh's brother is named Tavros, if you're truly interested. He's part of the LARP group that meets on the east lawn, by the food court. Rufioh and Aranea are too." She gave him a little wink. "I'm sure you'd bump into him again if you went to watch one of their club performances after class. It's alright if you're a little late, I'll cover for you." She paused for a moment, then added, "Actually, if I remember correctly, I think I remember Rufioh saying that they had an event planned for this weekend too!"

John blushed faintly, smiling over at her shyly. Wow, he hadn't had a friend try to set him up in ages, his chest twisting a bit as he tried not to let his anxiety show. "Thanks, Kanaya. Maybe I'll check it out. It did look like lots of fun." She patted his arm good-naturedly before returning to her meal, glancing back over at Feferi and Eridan, who were still bickering quietly back and forth. John turned his eyes to his plate, picking up his fork again. It wasn't like he had any other real plans this weekend. He might as well go.

-x-x-x-

Rufioh smiled broadly when he saw John approaching from the path beside the fountain, strumming his guitar loudly and beckoning him closer. "Well well, look who decided to show up to this afternoon's session! Welcome! Won't you join us? I was just regaling Vriska with tales of our new troupe members and suddenly you appear!"

"You know what they say! Speak of the devil…" The girl jeered with a sly wink, Rufioh grinning and strumming his guitar rhythmically, shaking his head as he laughed. She turned away from the older boy and stepped over to John to greet him as he reached the edge of the large blanket, shaking his hand while giving him a once-over. "Well, you're going to need some extra padding, that's for sure. I'd avoid the heavy-arms for the time being, and stick with something light like a one-handed sword." Her gaze traveled back up his body, the girl narrowing her baby-blue eyes suspiciously. "Aranea, is this the one you said sings like an angel?"

Her twin was signing something to her girlfriend, but paused a moment between phrases and said, "Yes! His voice is lovely. You should really come by the theatre sometime and hear him sing. All of our new members are wonderful additions to the troupe."

Vriska clicked her tongue, nodding towards the field behind her where several club members were already sparring in full LARP gear. "You gotta watch it out there if you're going to play. It can get seriously rough, even with the right padding and foam weapons." She turned to Rufioh, shrugging lightly. "I could pair him up with Equius, see how he does. Or do you think Tavros would be better?"

"Actually I uh-" John started, but Vriska was already walking off into the field, cupping her hands over her mouth and calling out to both boys, standing with her hand on her hip as they made their way over to her. Equius had his broadsword across his shoulders leisurely, Tavros resting his axe at his side and tapping it against his leg armor lightly, clearly hyped up on adrenaline.

She spoke to them softly for a few moments before they both nodded and the smaller boy looked over at him, John feeling his face flush a bit. Oh. He was just as cute as he remembered, his cinnamon skin dusted with freckles and thick muscle curving just beneath the surface with every gesture he made. He was built just like his older brother, and John had discovered from troupe gossip they were both skilled carpenters. Rufioh and Tavros had worked to rebuild the theatre by hand along with the contractors to cut the costs of the final construction as much as they could. It showed in his shoulders and chest, and John bit his bottom lip as Tavros gripped his axe and it caused his biceps to flex. Heaven help him, those muscles were absolutely _sinful_. He hadn't been concentrating on a word the other boy said at all. He might actually die from embarrassment.

Vriska laughed and swatted at Tavros and Equius, ushering them back out to the field. "Nevermind, I think we're just going to watch this time around. You two have fun." She smacked Tavros' ass as he went, the boy frowning over at her lightly while she wiggled her fingers in a small farewell, turning to John with a wicked smile twisting her lips. "My my, someone looks _parched_."

John could feel how hot his face was as he shrugged off his backpack and settled down onto the large blanket, Rufioh strumming along to a melody he didn't recognize, whispering lyrics under his breath. He turned his attention to Aranea and Meulin, watching the two girls sign back and forth with interest, wondering what they were saying, and wishing not for the first time that week that he had opted to study ASL instead of French. Studying the romantic language had turned out to be completely useless, and he had forgotten most of it due to disuse over his college career. Maybe Rufioh was right and he would pick up on some ASL the longer he was around the deaf girl and her girlfriend, but for now he was completely lost.

He sighed to himself, tugging his bag closer and digging through the middle compartment until he had his camera in hand, setting the lens cap aside and adjusting his sights before snapping a few pictures of the LARP battle. Horuss was out there amongst the fray, towering over those that opposed him. Equius and Tavros were also nearby, standing back to back, fighting off the enemy team surrounding them as a matched pair, their movements eerily in sync. There were dozens of people playing, but one boy kept catching his attention. His movements were fluid and calculated, precision evident with each strike, and there was something strangely familiar about him. John looked to Rufioh, taking a few shots of his target and then shifting closer to his position on the blanket, asking curiously, "Hey, do you know this kid?" He turned his camera around so the guitarist could see his most recent photograph, Rufioh nodding and smiling wide.

"Oh yeah, that's Mituna! He's badass, right? People _love_ watching him play! He's been in our group for years!" He looked out across the field and pointed towards the tall, lean fighter. "He's a great guy. I'm glad he's around still. For a while we didn't think he would come back at all." He strummed his fingers against his guitar, finding the chords he was looking for one at a time and jotting them down in the notebook before him. "He got hurt pretty badly when he was younger. He was struck in the back of the head with a weapon that wasn't approved by our LARP regulations." He shook his head just thinking about it, exhaling a deep breath. "It was brutal, he suffered severe brain damage. Didn't think he'd be able to walk or talk, but now look at him go." He grinned over at John, shrugging. "He's seriously badass. The product of sheer willpower, fighting through years of therapy, never giving up. I've heard of kids getting hurt in LARP before but what happened to him? Yeah. There's no comparison."

John's eyes were wide, absorbing every word. "Wow I mean, that's amazing. It's awesome that he was able to recover after something like that." He looked out across the field again, finding Mituna dueling against Tavros, meeting him blow for blow. They looked evenly matched, their footwork advanced, readily parrying the opposing fighter's strikes with practiced ease. They were smiling, both of them, clearly enjoying the fight. John took a few more pictures as they dueled, flicking through the images he'd taken so far and frowning a bit when he asked, "Does Mituna skateboard, by any chance?"

Rufioh looked over at him, tilting his head a bit in confusion. "Uh yeah, actually. He skateboards a ton. Why?"

"I think I ran into him my first day here. Well, _almost_ ran into him." He set his camera aside after recapping the lense, reclining back on his hands as he looked to the boy beside him. "He flipped me off for it."

"I'm surprised he didn't cuss you out! Must have had his headphones in." Rufioh chuckled, clearly amused, tapping his fingers against his guitar before setting it aside and stretching out, falling back onto the grass with a low grunt. He closed his eyes, basking in the warm sun, John watching him quietly. It was nice here, just casually existing like this, sharing the calm quiet with new friends. Well, aside from the background noise from the LARP players. He hadn't felt this normal in over six months, since the accident. He closed his eyes, pushing it back. Back, back, back, as far as it would go. He didn't want to think about it right now. He wanted to live in this moment. He wanted to be a normal guy enjoying the sunshine with his nice, chill friends.

He looked to Aranea and Meulin who were holding hands and leaning against one another, Aranea humming softly with her lips pressed to her girlfriend's cheek, Meulin smiling happily at the little vibrations. He wondered how she had lost her hearing, or if she had been born that way. Aranea seemed to sense his gaze and looked over at him, smiling lightly, continuing to hum as she cast her eyes towards the LARP battle. John followed her gaze, finding her twin out on the field beside her friends, cheering on Mituna and Tavros as they continued their duel.

He wasn't expecting someone to suddenly sit down beside him, looking over at the other boy in surprise as he fished his laptop out of his bag and a thick coding textbook, quickly flipping it open to a marked page while waiting for his laptop to boot. "Fucking idiot's going to get himself killed out there." He said under his breath, then cracked his knuckles and started typing quickly. John watched him, bewildered, blinking in surprise and glancing over at Rufioh. The guitarist's expression was just as shocked, a bemused smile crossing his face.

"Well this day just keeps getting more and more surprising. You never join us for LARP anymore, Sollux." He sat up and grabbed his guitar again, asking cheerily, "Cutting your extra weekend classes again today, are we? Why sign up for the extra credits if you never even show?"

The boy at his side snorted. "That whore professor wouldn't know proper coding if it shoved itself down his throat. I don't know why I bother to show up in person _ever_ , I guarantee there's nothing that guy can teach me that I didn't learn in high school." He groaned and huffed as he cut his eyes over at Rufioh. "This semester they have an _attendance_ percentage requirement, so I have to show up occasionally or he'll automatically fail me, regardless of my exemplary test scores. I'm the best student in that fucking class. He's just. A _whore_."

Rufioh quirked a brow, nodding sympathetically as he spoke. "Yeah, I've had a few of those professors in my day too. Just can't seem to get along with them no matter what. Attendance requirements suck." He looked to John, then said with a laugh, "Aren't you going to introduce yourself, Sollux? Or do you make a habit of sharing personal space with strangers?"

John grinned awkwardly, turning to the boy and offering his hand. "I'm John, nice to meet you."

"Sollux." the other boy replied, pausing his typing long enough to look down at John's hand and wrinkle his nose, then resume typing, "Yeah I don't really do that. Verbal greetings are fine."

"He's particular when it comes to his hands. Always has been." Rufioh said casually, Sollux not bothering to look up. "Don't take it personally."

"Right." John said, letting his hand fall and watching the boy with curious interest, his eyes flitting across the endless stream of code he was typing out, wondering how he could possibly make sense of it all. "So you're...not an arts major, then?"

"Programming and Computer Sciences, double major." He glanced over at John for a moment before resuming his typing. "You must be one of the new theatre recruits if you're hanging out with this crowd."

"Yeah, that's me." John laughed, flashing a friendly smile. He looked towards the field, then asked hesitantly, "Who uh, who was it you were worried about getting hurt out there?"

"Mituna. My brother." He exhaled through his nose, cutting his eyes over the top of his laptop and honing in on the lanky boy who was cheering at something Vriska had said, the girl clapping him on the back while he bumped fists with Tavros. "One near death experience just wasn't enough. He has to keep coming back for more."

"Oh! He's your brother, huh?" He picked up his camera, flicking through the images again and glancing between a close-up of Mituna and the boy sitting beside him. "You two do look very similar. You're not twins too are you?"

Sollux's expression cracked at that and he laughed a bit, revealing a hint of his diastema. "We get that a lot actually, but no. Just Aranea and Vriska. We've got a two year age gap, actually. Though we're just about the same height." He finally looked up and caught John's eyes, and he realized with a start his irises here heterochromatic. One iris was tawny hazel, the other a rich, deep brown.

John smiled wide and leaned a bit closer, searching his eyes. "Oh wow! That's really neat! I've never met anyone with heterochromia before!"

Sollux blinked, focusing on John's blue eyes as well. They stayed like that for several long moments before the boy asked teasingly, "So you gonna kiss me now or what?"

John blinked twice and blushed brightly, recoiling away from Sollux's personal space, already apologizing. "Oh gosh I'm really sorry about that, I didn't mean to, if I-" He reached up and rubbed at his nape, his anxiety throbbing in his chest, "If I upset you, I didn't mean to or anything, really! I'm sorry!"

"Whoa, whoa chill out dude. I'm kidding." Sollux laughed a bit, leaning closer to John and patting his upper arm reassuringly. "Besides, you're cute enough. I'd be down for sloppy makeouts."

John laughed softly, still extremely anxious, glancing over at Rufioh for help. Rufioh just grinned, shrugging. "I think we're all a little gay here, John. You're gonna have to get used to all the casual flirting and banter. Comes with the theatre scene. You'll see."

"Seriously." Sollux said softly, resuming his typing, John taking a deep breath to try and force himself to relax. Rufioh started strumming again, and Sollux's keystrokes took on a beat of their own. Between the two of them, John slowly began relaxing again, looking out across the field and watching as the LARP group as it disbanded for the day, their friends returning to them.

Vriska and Mituna were walking side-by-side, nudging one another and laughing brightly. Tavros, Equius, and Horuss were behind, already beginning to strip out of their respective armors. John's eyes widened, inhaling softly as Tavros tugged off his undershirt and twisted it between his hands to wring out the sweat, the muscles in his arms and shoulders rippling. He bit his bottom lip and strained to pull his eyes away, fingertips tracing the curve of his camera as he fought the urge to sneak a few snaps for himself. Maybe...just maybe, if he asked in a casually nice and not creepy way, Tavros wouldn't mind posing for him some day. That day was definitely not today, his anxiety had already peaked for the afternoon and there was no way in hell he was mustering up enough courage to flirt with that beautiful boy anytime soon.

Resigning himself to continue to thirst for the foreseeable future, he looked up at Mituna as the boy made his way over to Sollux. The older boy grinned cheesily as he plopped down onto the grass beside them, peeking over his brother's shoulder to see what he was doing. His lisp was thick and his stutter pronounced as he tried to speak, Sollux stopping his typing to listen to him closely, piecing together the words. "Th-Th-That lookths like loths of _not fun_ , lil' br-br-bro."

"Yes, well this _not fun_ is going to put food on our table and land me a sweet gig working for the government, which equates to quite a cushy retirement one of these days." He looked back at his brother, grinning over his shoulder. "Or I'll become a world renown hacker and just steal whatever we need. We'll see how things go."

"Th-Th-That thoundths like a w-w-wone way ticket to jh-jh-jhail, lil' br-br-bro." He patted Sollux on the back, chuckling and sputtering as he wheezed out his laughter. He looked to John after a moment, leaning a bit closer then frowning and saying in an irritated tone, "Heh-Heh- _Hey_! You're th-th-that th-th- _thtupid_ _athhhole_ that th-th-thopped in the middle of the thidewalk! The fuck were y-y-you d-d- _doing_! Idiot!"

"Mituna." Sollux said softly, redirecting his attention. "Were you skateboarding on the sidewalk again? You _know_ you aren't supposed to do that. The campus police will write you another ticket if they catch you out here boarding again. A ticket that _I'm_ paying for."

The boy behind him chuckled impishly, sticking out his tongue and then flipping off John while getting to his feet, doing a series of stretches before gathering up his things and turning to go. "Let'th _blow_ th-th-thith p-p-popthickle thtand!"

"Bye Tuna! Catch you tomorrow!" Vriska called, waving to him as the lanky boy left, Sollux quickly shoving his things back into his pack and hopping up to follow after him. He glanced back at John for a second, giving him a little grin, before running to catch up with his brother. John watched them go, bewildered by everything that had transpired since he'd decided to show up. He turned his attention towards Vriska when she began talking again, the girl stepping forward to smooth her palms against Tavros' chest, John's breath hitching a bit as her nails traced the curve of a perked nipple. "Tavros, baby. You really oughta get these cuties pierced. You're hot already with your septum pierced and your buzzed fade but _damn_ would you look fine sporting nipple rings!" She pulled back and circled her finger in the air, grinning wickedly. "It would really complete the _whole_ package!"

Tavros was flushed cherry red across his cheeks, turning and tugging his damp shirt on with his back facing towards her, Vriska cooing appreciatively at the way his back and shoulder muscles twisted with his movements. John could relate. He could barely pull his eyes away. Once he wasn't as exposed, he looked to the girl with a soft sigh, crossing his arms over his chest. "You could at least pretend you aren't interested."

"Oh but I am, baby. _Very_ interested." She leaned closer again, her nails tracing along his clavicle teasingly. "You let me know the second I've got the green light and I will _rock_ your world from dusk til' dawn. Guaranteed."

Tavros reached up and pushed her hands away gently, glancing down at Aranea who was giggling softly and shrugging. "I don't know what you want me to say. She's deadly serious, Tavros."

"While I appreciate the offer," Tavros began slowly, glancing between the twins, "I would much prefer to keep things uh...professional between us?" He looked helpless beneath her piercing baby-blue eyes, the boy lifting his hands up defensively and backing away a step. "I like LARPing with you, I wouldn't change that for anything. I wouldn't want to risk ruining our friend group by making things...complicated."

"I really don't think it's as complicated as you're imagining." Vriska said, looking from Tavros to Rufioh. "Tell him, Rufioh. You know all about it. Porrim? Damara?"

"Oh no, I'm staying out of this one. You guys figure this out on your own." He shook his head, strumming softly and noting his chords again, decidedly ignoring her.

John slapped a hand over his mouth to keep himself from laughing. There had to be quite a story there, from the way Vriska was glaring daggers down at him, the girl mouthing ' _double standard_ ' silently as she loomed over him before returning her attention to Tavros. He had taken her distraction as an opportune moment of escape, and he was already hoisting his bag onto his shoulder and waving goodbye as he headed for the dorms nearby, Equius trailing behind him. Horuss went to Rufioh's side and sat down in the grass, stretching out beneath the sun.

Vriska shrugged, crossing the blanket and sitting down beside John where Sollux had been before, tucking her ankles under her and smiling over at him, winking. "Well then, cutie. Can I give you my number?"

John watched her warily, the girl's eyes sparkling in the sunlight as she slowly reached over and took his hand. She retrieved his phone from the blanket, pressing his thumb to the surface to unlock it. She stayed well within reach, close enough that John could clearly see what she was doing as she added herself to his contacts, then offered him back his phone. He took it from her, his heart fluttering lightly as she leaned into his space again.

"Same rules apply, sugar. You give me the green light and I'll rock your world." She reached up and traced the curve of his jaw, teasing at his earlobe. "Just pick the time and place. I'm ready when you are."

"Umm. Thank you?" John said softly, probably squeaking a bit more than he should have been to sound _completely_ uninterested. She smirked and returned her attention to her sister, Aranea biting her lip to stifle her laughter as she gave John an apologetic look.

"She probably won't tell you this because she likes watching boys squirm, but my sister is a Professional Dominatrix." John's eyes widened, blue irises darting between the twins. "She has a private studio where she sets up appointments and performs arranged sessions. If you had met under different circumstances, she would have just handed you her business card."

"I should really stitch a tiny pocket for my business cards on the inside of my breastplate." Vriska added wistfully, sighing and smiling as she met John's eyes. "All jokes aside, you're super cute and I'd be down for a session if you're interested. Oh, and if you decide you want to join us for LARPing, that's cool too. You know where to find us."

John nodded, looking down at his phone and noting the contact she added had a little spider emoji at the end. It was fitting somehow, and he locked his phone again, tucking it back inside his pocket out of eyesight. He would...contemplate her offer in a more private setting. For now he had homework he needed to do, and an upcoming quiz to study for.

He couldn't wait to meet up with everyone tomorrow at the theatre after class. Their first assignment from their catty director was to piece together a setlist for their first performance of the semester. Kankri had said they could compile a list of suggestions, anything really as long as it seemed popular and would draw people in for the grand reopening. He planned on making the final decisions for the performance based on their list of suggestions. John already had a few songs in mind.

-x-x-x-

Karkat moaned softly as Dave spread his thighs, sliding up against him in an arching wave, dancing along to the pulsing beat pounding overhead. He was already so worked up from just teasing, Dave using him as a prop for a lap dance he was recording, Karkat sitting back and enjoying the show.

" _She's just like candy, she's so sweet  
__But you know that it ain't real cherry, know that it ain't real cherry~  
__She's just like candy, she's so sweet  
__But you know that it ain't real, know that it ain't real~_ "

"Fuck, Kurloth…" Karkat cast his eyes towards the couch nearby, watching as Mituna grabbed a handful of the older boy's dreads and held on tight. Kurloz was between his legs, licking at the head of his cock before teasing the tip with his tongue, coaxing out more of his thick, pearly precum. The blonde made a pitiful noise, wriggling his hips, but Kurloz kept him easily in place, taking his sweet time before dipping down to devour him, taking him fully into the back of his throat. "F-Fuck! _Fuck…_!"

Dave drew his attention, the albino grinding his ass back against his crotch, Karkat's hands finding his hips and rubbing against his soft skin reverently. Dave hummed softly, turning around and crawling into his lap, grinning as he wrapped his arms around his neck.

" _I can be your sugar when you're fiendin' for that sweet spot  
__Put me in your mouth, baby, and eat it 'til your teeth rot~  
__I can be your cherry, apple, pecan, or your key lime  
__Baby I got everything and so much more than she's got~_ "

He leaned in and kissed Karkat, slow and deep, rocking their hips together and sharing his breath. "You like watching them?" He asked, pressing their foreheads together and glancing towards the couch, Karkat looking over as well. They watched together as the blonde bucked up into the hot mouth surrounding him, lolling his head back as his voice began to rise. Dave's hand kneaded against the front of his jeans slowly, feeling him up with a soft purr against his ear. "Want you inside me, Kitty. Can I ride you?"

Karkat nodded while turning his face to kiss Dave again, licking across his lips as he listened to the sounds Mituna made as he was sucked. The albino in his lap made quick work of his jeans, shoving them down enough to get his cock free and tugging his lacy panties to the side to sink down onto him. He was still wet from Kurloz fucking him just minutes before Mituna had showed up. The blonde typically appeared at their doorstep after having a fight with Sollux, almost like clockwork every weekend, and Kurloz was always more than eager to distract him from his own mind with drugs and sex. He'd been hooking up with Mituna for years, long before Gamzee had given him his stuttering speech and subtle tics, residual effects of his lingering brain damage. The incident had happened years ago. Their attraction to one another still remained.

Karkat groaned deeply at the sensation of Dave clenching around him as he took him to the hilt, panting softly as he met those hazy pink eyes and watched him start to bounce. He held his hips gently so he wouldn't lose his balance and start to tip backwards off the chair, those pink eyes locked into his storm-grey as he bounced faster, one hand already jerking his dribbling cock.

"You feel so good," Dave moaned, letting his head fall back as he continued to rock down against him. Karkat grunted softly, jerking his hips up to meet him with each thrust, Dave gasping as Karkat brushed against his prostate on the next stroke. "Oh fuck, there! Right there, _yes_!" He gave himself a few slow, deliberate pumps before resuming his quick jerks, biting at his lips and rolling his hips as he tried to angle their bodies _just right_ so Karkat was hitting that spot every time they met with a sharp slap.

" _She's just like candy, she's so sweet  
__But you know that it ain't real cherry, know that it ain't real cherry~  
__She's just like candy, she's so sweet  
__But you know that it ain't real, know that it ain't real~_ "

Mituna's voice was rising as well, almost harmonizing with Dave as Karkat glanced over. Kurloz had his knees tucked up against his chest and two fingers pressed inside him while he laved up the underside of his pulsing cock, Mituna too far gone to form coherent words past stuttering, broken syllables. Kurloz pulled off his cock and fucked him with his fingers while unbuckling his belt and unzipping his jeans, shucking them down his hips and sliding into position. He held up Mituna's legs and thrust home, the blonde crying out sharply as he was taken, his shaky fingers scrambling for purchase on Kurloz's broad, dark shoulders as he started to fuck into him roughly.

Panting softly, Karkat continued to watch, Dave kissing down his neck as he rocked down onto his cock over and over, moaning helplessly as he climbed towards climax. Karkat felt that familiar heat building, churning deep in the pit of his stomach and setting his nerves ablaze with electricity, curling his toes against the carpet as he pulled Dave against him roughly and came inside. Dave exhaled shakily at feeling Karkat's release, giving himself a few more quick tugs before spilling over his hand, moaning and mouthing at Karkat's neck breathlessly as he rode out his high. On the couch, Kurloz was still fucking into Mituna, Karkat able to make out the bright sheen of blood dripping down his toned back where the blonde's nails had cut into his skin, the crimson red gleaming brightly in the blacklight.

" _Sugar coated, lies unfolded  
__You still lick the wrapper_  
_It's addictive, you know this  
__But you still lick the wrapper~"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics: Doja Cat - Candy
> 
> Thanks for reading! More to come!


	3. Abstruse

Kankri glared over at the other boy, frowning deeply while Cronus tried to state his case. "Kanny baby, you _know_ how popular _Grease_ is! You can't deny it would draw in a crowd, and Feferi said she's willing to sing the accompanying part. _Please_? I _never_ get to do this! I really want to-"

"Oh for Christ's sake…" Kankri sighed exasperatedly, looking from the pleading greaser towards the petite girl who was standing nearby, Feferi nodding enthusiastically and smiling all the while.

"Really, I have no issue with it! I think the whole routine sounds super cute!" She hesitated a moment before adding, "It's true I've never seen _Grease_ before, but I've watched different clips from the musical several times today already, and the choreography seems pretty straight forward!" She reached down and fanned out her embroidered tulle skirt, swaying back and forth while adding, "The outfits are just adorable! I _love_ poodle skirts!"

Kankri didn't look amused, glaring over at Cronus as he said in reply, "Sandy wears leather in that scene, and is smoking a cigarette, _and_ the entire bit is hypersexualized!" He jabbed a finger in Cronus' direction, "It's gaudy! It's sexist! I won't have it!"

John glanced over at Rufioh who was standing nearby with Aranea, the bespectacled girl nodding to something he had said while making her way over to the piano, sitting down and beginning to play. When Kankri whipped his head around and started in after Rufioh, the boy lifted his hands defensively, stating calmly, "Alright, alright. Let's give them a chance to show us what they can do. Keeping in mind Feferi is doing this with no prior experience." He gave Kankri a smile, tilting his head a bit. "You could help her with the choreography, right Kankri? Maybe make it a bit more...suitable to your tastes?" He looked past Kankri to Cronus as the director stammered out a stubborn rebuttal but ultimately fell silent, crossing his arms irritably over his red sweater and huffing. "Alright, Cronus." Rufioh called, his expression bright. "The stage is yours."

The greaser looked so excited he could practically cry, his hands clasped together in a thankful prayer as he beamed over at Rufioh. Quickly he stepped across the stage while shrugging out of his jacket, offering a hand to Feferi, the girl giggling excitedly and stepping over to meet him, her skirt flowing with her steps. Aranea started the opening phrase again, and Cronus directed Feferi through the steps, one of her hands on his shoulder while she watched the footwork. They danced for a while, Cronus humming along to the piano, and eventually Kankri walked back over to them, analyzing their movements now that he wasn't as irritated at the concept. He tutted lightly, stopping them during one of Feferi's turns, trying to position her appropriately. He furrowed his brow, still dissatisfied, turning to glare up at Cronus for a moment before returning his ruby eyes to Feferi, his expression soft.

"Alright, why don't I just...show you what you're getting yourself into. I'll go through the steps myself." He watched her for a moment before glancing towards Cronus, pursing his lips at his puppy-dog expression. "Would that be agreeable to you both?"

"You're gonna dance with me, Kanny?" Cronus said, his voice suddenly hoarse.

Kankri blinked up at him dryly. "If you call me that again, I most _certainly_ will not."

Cronus nodded quickly, taking a step back and giving Kankri and Feferi some space while he tried to collect himself. The director ushered the petite dancer towards the piano and away from center stage before turning beneath the bright stage lights, staring down Cronus with a light frown. He paused for just a moment, tugging his sweater off overhead and letting the bunched fabric fall to the stage, revealing the skin-tight black underarmour hidden underneath. John wondered if that was what he always wore beneath his bulky sweaters. He was built like a gymnast, all lean muscle and sculpted, flowing movements as he stepped closer to Cronus, Aranea starting to play again.

Cronus let out an almost pained sound at his approach, clutching a hand against his chest. " _Kankri_!"

"Tell me 'bout it, _stud_."

John felt chills tingle up his spine, eyes wide as he turned to Kanaya. She was watching the interaction with surprise as well, a hand poised delicately across her mouth, carefully avoiding her dark lipstick. That _voice_ , that _attitude_! Where was that _coming_ from? Cronus started singing, John's eyes flicking back up to the stage, grinning from ear to ear as the act began.

" _I got chills, they're multiplyin'  
__And I'm losin' control  
__'Cause the power you're supplyin'  
__It's electrifyin'!_ "

Cronus fell to his knees before the other boy, Kankri looking down at him with a sultry smirk. This was _not_ the Kankri they knew, this was someone, _something_ , else. John shuddered and watched breathlessly as this alternate personality took over, feeling something _ignite_ on the stage between them. Kankri stepped forward, pressing the sole of his dress boot to Cronus' chest, shoving him backwards. The greaser inhaled sharply as he landed back on his ass, his eyes wide and _hungry_. John wondered how often Cronus had experienced Kankri like this. He looked like a man dying of thirst, and only Kankri could satiate his obvious desire.

" _You better shape up, 'cause I need a man  
And my heart is set on you~_"

He scrambled up to his feet as Kankri turned and strutted away from him, then when he turned around and faced the greaser again he propped a wrist against his shoulder, walking towards him while Cronus walked backwards, matching his steps.

" _You better shape up, you better understand  
__To my heart, I must be true~_ "

Cronus grinned as he mirrored Kankri's movements, his eyes wandering his frame as he harmonized with his vocals easily. As if they sang together all the time.

" _Nothing left, nothing left for me to do!  
__You're the one that I want!  
__You are the one I want~  
__Oo-oo-oo, honey!  
__The one that I want!  
__You are the one I want~  
__Oo-oo-oo, honey!  
__The one that I want  
__You are the one I want~  
__Oo-oo-oo, the one I need  
__Oh, yes, indeed!_ "

Rufioh whistled and Aranea laughed softly as she continued playing, Feferi clapping excitedly as the two boys continued to share the stage. Kankri turned away from Cronus again, stepping up a small flight of prop stairs. Rufioh had finished crafting them earlier that week, and had been staining the wood methodically over the past few days. Its surface was glossy with a cherry finish, and Kankri planted his steps carefully as he continued to sing, making his way up the rise.

" _If you're filled with affection  
__You're too shy to convey~  
__Meditate in my direction  
__Feel your way~_ "

He turned to look down at Cronus who was standing with one foot on the bottom step, looking up at him with a wide grin.

" _I better shape up, cause you need a man~"_

Kankri's eyes were wicked as he stepped down towards him slowly, taking it one step at a time, curving his hips into each movement to purposefully tease the boy before him.

" _I need a man who can keep me satisfied!_ "

Cronus took a step closer to him, looking up at him with shining eyes. John could practically see him shaking.

" _I better shape up if I'm gonna prove~_ "

Kankri reached out and brushed his fingertips against Cronus' shoulder, the greaser shivering lightly at his touch.

" _You better prove that my faith is justified!_ "

Cronus chuckled softly, reaching up and taking his hand from his shoulder, searching his eyes.

" _Are you sure?_ "

Kankri nodded down to him, his eyes burning as the greaser looked up at him helplessly.

" _Yes, I'm sure down deep inside~_ "

Cronus pulled back from the stairs, offering Kankri his hand again as he descended, Kankri taking it with a flourish. Cronus laughed exuberantly, spinning him around and matching his steps as they danced together under the spotlight, Kankri's hands on his chest, his hands at Kankri's waist.

" _You're the one that I want!  
__You are the one I want~  
__Oo-oo-oo, honey!  
__The one that I want!  
__You are the one I want~  
__Oo-oo-oo, honey!  
__The one that I want  
__You are the one I want~  
__Oo-oo-oo, the one I need  
__Oh, yes, indeed!_ "

When the piano finished the final phrase, Kankri dropped his hands, stepping away from Cronus. He did it so quickly it was almost cold, John's chest twisting as he watched Cronus' face fall, the greaser looking after him as he walked away, clearly forlorn.

Kankri paid him no mind, gathering up his sweater and smoothing out the wrinkles as he stepped over to Feferi, his ruby eyes meeting her fuchsia. "Now then, if you're certain you can handle a similar rendition to that then...I may agree to add it to the list. Otherwise…" He looked back at Cronus, the greaser instantly plastering a happy, fake smile across his face. Kankri eyed him up and down for a moment before turning away, stepping off the side of the stage and heading towards the open double-doors, calling as he went, "Let's take fifteen, everyone!"

Kanaya was looking between Cronus and Feferi, clearly at a loss. John could feel the heaviness in the air as well. Feferi stepped over to Cronus gingerly, reaching out and patting his arm as she tried to say cheerily, "That was really great, Cronus! You dance like-" she paused suddenly, trying to find the right words, "Like-"

"Like we're lovers? Yeah." Cronus laughed softly, running a hand through his slicked hair, exhaling shakily. "Yeah, we get that a lot." He glanced away, expression crestfallen, turning back to find the leather jacket he'd strewn across the floor before. Eridan was there waiting for him, offering him the jacket and giving him a long, pointed look before leaning in and whispering something softly. Whatever it was had Cronus nodding and chuckling softly, clapping the younger boy on the shoulder before heading backstage. It seemed they could all use a bit of a break. Eridan looked upset as well.

John closed his eyes, pushing down his anxiety and finding a seat nearby, plopping down and leaning his head back, his eyes drifting across the rafters. The stagehands were talking softly to one another overhead, but the distance was great enough that John couldn't make them out clearly. Equius was tending to some wiring with the overhead floodlights, Dave offering him colored filters to slide over the large square bulbs and tint the stage in a softer yellow hue. They shifted through blue next, then green, then pink, John watching the lighting change with mild interest, his eyes wandering the catwalk until he stopped on the third stagehand. The least social of the three, the boy with stormcloud eyes. Karkat.

He didn't know much about the boy, only that he'd been in the troupe before the fire. John wondered if he had always been so quiet. Dave seemed chatty enough, and even Equius talked to him now and then, especially when Tavros was around. He never saw Karkat or Dave hanging out with any of the others outside of the theatre, they seemed to have their own little world detached from the rest of their troupe. John wasn't sure why, but it almost felt lonely to think about it that way.

He watched Karkat coiling several lengths of rope around his elbow and open palm. He turned to look out across the amphitheatre absently as he worked, then his eyes flit down and he made direct eye contact with John, the two boys staring at one another. John offered a little awkward smile, giving him a small wave, but the boy just pulled his eyes away and turned around instead. Oof. Not in the mood to interact with anyone, obviously. John could feel his anxiety spike at that silent rejection. Then again, he had been watching the other boy. Maybe Karkat just thought he was weird.

Worrying his lip, he exhaled softly and turned to look for a friendlier face. Kanaya was sitting nearby quietly, texting on her phone. Feferi and Eridan had wandered off somewhere, and Rufioh was speaking with Horuss and Aranea near the piano. Kankri was still somewhere outside. The rest of the crew was otherwise occupied. He fished his phone from his pocket as well, checking his messages and realizing he had missed a few texts from his cousin about an hour before.

//Jake: Hey John! Dirk and I are heading out!

//Jake: We will be out of town for at least the next few days, though hopefully not much longer.

//Jake: I finally heard back from my editor about the publishing house inquiry, and things are looking good! We found an illustrator who seems interested too!

John scrolled down through the messages, smiling to himself. Jake was always excited when talking about his novels, he could feel his cousin's energy through his texts as if he were sitting there beside him, chatting about his progress with publishing his books.

//Jake: I've left some money for you pinned to the fridge.

//Jake: If you need anything, call us any time. You have Dirk's number.

//Jake: We'll be back Friday at the latest.

//Jake: Fingers crossed! Wish me luck!

John hummed to himself softly, texting Jake back before shoving his phone into his pocket, reclining back in his seat and looking up to the rafters once more. He gingerly glanced across the catwalks, finding Karkat standing close to where he had been coiling rope before.

This time Dave was beside him, the albino boy leaning closer into his space, Karkat frowning a little and saying something that had Dave laughing and tugging him closer, wrapping his arms around Karkat's neck. They talked back and forth quietly, Dave leaning in and smiling more and more with each word, carding his pale fingers through Karkat's dark hair, tugging gently before resuming his lazy petting. John watched with wide eyes as he leaned in for a kiss, Karkat hesitating only a moment before meeting his lips, his grey eyes slipping shut as their mouths moved against one another's slowly. He tightened his grip on the armrest reflexively, inhaling a sharp breath. He looked around the stage, searching for anyone else who might be witnessing this, but found no one else was paying any attention to what was happening high above.

He looked back to Karkat and Dave, watching as the albino pressed closer and slipped his hand down Karkat's stomach, rubbing his palm against the front of his jeans, tracing the outline of his cock. John inhaled sharply and felt himself choke a bit, coughing and swallowing thickly, his face impossibly hot. He squirmed in his seat, feeling a twinge of heat sear straight between his legs as they continued kissing, and Dave continued petting. Oh wow, that was...hot. Really, _really_ hot. _Insanely_ hot. He needed to keep it together. With the way his body was reacting he was _really_ going to embarrass himself when he decided to stand up.

He pressed a hand to his mouth, glancing over at Kanaya. She was still distracted by her phone. He fought as hard as he could not to make a single sound, eyes darting back towards the rafters. John couldn't help but watch as the two boys continued slowly making out, and it was only when Dave turned so Karkat could kiss down his neck that John was spotted, pink eyes boring down into his mortified blue with a lazy smirk. _Oh fucking hell_. He ripped his eyes away, his pulse pounding as he stood up and walked towards the front doors, embarrassed beyond belief. He felt like he'd been spying on them, and he'd been blatantly caught red handed. Then again, they hadn't been trying very hard to be subtle. He was blinded for a moment when he stepped out beneath the sunshine, looking over at Kankri who was standing with his back against the theatre, glancing over at John and offering him a little smile.

"Well then, that was a bit more fun than I'd expected." The older boy admitted softly, and John couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up from his tight throat.

"Y-Yeah. Yeah. I wasn't expecting that either." He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. He was definitely going to have to avoid watching the rafters from now on. He couldn't afford to be _distracted_ during rehearsal, and this performance already meant a lot to him. He didn't want anything to ruin this amazing new home he had found within the theatre troupe. He couldn't imagine losing another close-knit group of friends. Not again.

-x-x-x-

Dave giggled as Karkat slapped a hand over his mouth, shushing him again as he looked around, making sure no one had followed them. They were in the very back corner of the theatre, away from the rest of the troupe where they wouldn't be overheard, Dave already working fast to unbuckle his belt and free his cock. "Dave, you _have_ to be quiet! If they catch us like this-"

Dave pulled Karkat's hand away so he could press kisses against his jaw, his speech slurred as he whispered, "C'mon KarKitty I _know_ you and Gamzee fucked here all the time. You guys were never subtle when you disappeared together." He wrapped his fingers around Karkat's length and began stroking him slowly, his eyes hazy with lust as he licked at his lips teasingly. "I want your cock, give it to me."

"Fuck, Dave…" He groaned, glancing around one more time before relenting. He tugged up his thin shirt, kissing down his chest while shoving his panties and leggings down around his knees. His deft fingers trailed down, dancing across the silicone rings looped around the base of his cock and under his testes, taut and binding, his arousal already flushed a dusky pink. Karkat turned him around roughly, his fingers finding the loop of his buttplug and pulling it free with a wet pop, shiny lube dripping down his pale thighs in excess. "God look how wet you are, you dirty _slut_." Dave moaned and Karkat growled against his ear, lifting the plug to his lips and shoving it in his mouth, giving him something to suck on that would muffle his sounds while Karkat fucked him. He aligned his cock, gripped Dave's hips, and slowly shoved himself deep inside, Dave whining around the plug and arching his back as he rocked against Karkat's thick cock.

He didn't need to hear Dave's words to know those rhythmic, insistent moans were pleas for _more_ , Karkat gripping his hips hard enough to bruise as he started pounding into him, Dave squeaking eagerly as his toes curled. They rocked against one another in the darkness, voices hushed as they climbed towards release together, Karkat reaching around and stroking Dave's twitching cock while panting against his ear.

"You wanna cum for me? Huh? Fucking _whore_." Dave whined and spread his legs further, his palms sliding down the wall a bit as he met each of Karkat's thrusts, nodding frantically and moaning high in the back of his throat. "You take my cock so well, you're such a good little slut, aren't you?" Karkat pressed kisses against his nape, lapping at the sweat trickling down his neck as he continued thrusting into him with harsh wet slaps. "You're gonna cum for me when I tell you to, understand? Only when I tell you to, or you aren't cumming at all. I _own_ you, you fucking _slut_."

Dave nodded again, his pale skin flushed rosy pink, his eyes closed as he shivered at Karkat's words. Accepting his compliance, Karkat fisted his dusky cock and began stroking him agonizingly slow, feeling himself already on the edge as he teased at the weeping tip, his fingers coated with sticky precum. He thrust into him shallowly, his movements rushed and his breaths quick, shuddering gasps as he felt lightning crest against the back of his skull, zinging through his entire body as he climaxed.

"Fuck Dave, _fuck_! _Ah_! I'm cumming!" He bit into his shoulder to muffle his voice as he released inside, each hot spurt causing his legs to twitch with overstimulation as his toes curled, Dave rocking back against him, still painfully hard. Karkat pulled his teeth from his shoulder and kissed against the blunt indentations, moaning softly, his fingers shifting down and twisting the silicone rings up just enough that they began to slip free. Once they were loose enough, Karkat stroked up his length and panted against his ear sweetly, grinning against the darkness, "You wanna cum now, huh? Can you ask me for it nicely, without dropping your plug?"

Dave was losing his shit, his whole body vibrating as he whined around the toy in his mouth, shaking his head and bucking his hips back against Karkat's softening cock the best he could, seeking out enough stimulation to finally cum.

"What's that? I can't hear you. Did you not want to cum after all?"

The albino squeaked softly and shook his head, his fingers curling against the wall as he tried to speak around the hot pink silicone, working his pierced tongue along the curved edges. "Mmh, mmhf…"

"Shh, shh…" Karkat whispered soothingly, turning his head a bit and listening to the voices approaching from the other side of the stage. They were hidden in the shadows, so even if they drew closer they wouldn't be readily seen, but from this distance they would definitely be heard if Dave didn't keep his sounds to a bare minimum. "Alright, I'm going to let you cum now, and when I do you're going to be quiet as a church mouse, aren't you?"

Dave inhaled shakily through his nose, nodding and rocking his hips back needily, Karkat giving him a few slow strokes before jerking his hand against his cock quickly, giving the albino what he wanted. He arched back against him, his hands coming off the wall and scrambling to slap over his mouth as he cried out sharply, cumming in sticky, hot ropes against the theatre wall. Karkat shushed him gently, kissing at his shoulder and milking him through it, Dave clenching around him tightly in rolling waves as he tensed every muscle in his body, fighting his natural instincts to force himself to be quiet.

Karkat eventually stilled his hand, whispering softly against his ear, "Good boy, good boy…" Dave choked out a muffled sob, going limp against him, Karkat reaching up and retrieving the plug from between his lips so he could finally breathe without the obstruction. He rested his head back against Karkat's shoulder as he was handled, blinking slowly and keeping as quiet as he could when the other boy pulled out and pressed the plug inside him again, tugging up his panties and leggings before smoothing the soft fabric over his slim hips. He whined softly as Karkat turned him around and pressed him back against the theatre wall, kissing him lazily, his arms wrapped around him as they shared each other's air.

They kissed for a while, Dave giggling softly when they parted for breath, reaching up to twine his fingers through Karkat's dark hair. "Wish you were tripping with me right now, Kitty. That felt _amazing_. The best I've had all week."

Karkat chuckled softly, shaking his head and giving Dave another kiss before pulling him gently from the wall. He guided him back into the dim lighting of the prop area, glancing around to make sure no one was there before walking along the side stage slowly, hand-in-hand, keeping an eye on the boy trailing beside him. He needed to find Dave some water, he knew he must be pretty far gone for him to have approached Karkat for sex in such a public setting. Not that Karkat hadn't done this before, many times, with both Aradia and Gamzee. With Dave, however, this had been a first. They'd christened the new theatre.

Apparently that blue-eyed boy, John, had caught them earlier when they were making out in the rafters as well, Karkat frowning a little at the thought. He doubted it was anything he should be worried about, but it bothered him nonetheless. Dave had found his shy voyeurism flattering if not endearing, whereas Karkat just thought of it as _annoying_. Just one more reason why he should continue distancing himself from the newbies.

Dismissing the thought as they entered the auditorium, Karkat glanced up to see Equius had cast baby blue lighting across the stage. It caused the crimson auditorium to reflect a deep navy blue, Karkat's breath catching in his throat. It looked, for the briefest of moments, as the theatre had once before. Kanaya was standing poised in the middle of the spotlight, singing softly while Kankri circled her slowly with a soft smile, clearly delighted with her vocals.

" _There was a time when men were kind,  
__When their voices were soft,  
__And their words inviting_ …"

He caught her eyes, nodding slowly and lifting his hand a bit, her volume rising slightly.

" _There was a time when love was blind,  
__And the world was a song,  
__And the song was exciting_ …"

Kankri resumed his pacing, nodding and clasping his hands behind his back as he listened to her voice resonate across the empty auditorium, ringing softly throughout the rafters.

" _There was a time,  
__Then it all went wrong_ …"

Karkat shushed Dave when he tried to say something, watching her with something sharp twisting in his chest. Aradia loved this long. She had performed it many times when they were younger, when _Les Miserables_ had first entered into the more modern musical world. Kanaya's rendition was breathtaking.

" _I dreamed a dream in times gone by,  
__When hope was high and life worth living_...  
_I dreamed that love would never die!  
__I dreamed that God would be forgiving…_ "

She held out her arms slowly, palms basking under the pale blue light.

" _Then I was young and unafraid,  
__And dreams were made and used and wasted...  
__There was no ransom to be paid,  
__No song unsung, no wine untasted…_ "

She drew her hands closer again, clenching her palms as her voice rose.

" _But the tigers come at night,  
__With their voices soft as thunder_...  
_As they tear your hope apart,  
__As they turn your dream to shame_!"

She gripped her waist, hunching over a bit with the force of her swelling vocals, almost pained as her voice echoed across the arching walls.

" _He slept a summer by my side  
__He filled my days with endless wonder_ …"

She looked to Kankri, her face twisting as she punched out the next verse, her throat taut and her eyes shining with unshed tears. Karkat swallowed thickly, trying to remember how to breathe.

" _He took my childhood in his stride_!  
_But he was gone when autumn came_ …"

She gasped and shook her head, covering her mouth for just a moment before looking out across the empty stage, reaching for the light.

" _And still I dream he'll come to me,  
__That we will live the years together...  
__But there are dreams that cannot be!  
__And there are storms we cannot weather_ …"

She gasped a few times, gathering her voice and fighting back tears.

" _I had a dream my life would be...  
__So different from this hell I'm living!  
__So different now from what it seemed!_ "

Her hand dropped, her voice cracking softly as she whispered the final verse.

" _Now life has killed the dream...  
__I dreamed…_ "

Kankri was clapping before the rest of the troupe started in, Kanaya laughing and dabbing at her eyes as she tried not to smear her eyeliner or mascara. "That was lovely, darling. Simply _lovely_." He reached over and patted her shoulder gently, Kanaya nodding and fanning herself with one hand, her brow arched.

"I'm sorry, it's just...the resonance here is so beautiful and that _song_!" She shook her head, sniffing. "It _always_ makes me emotional."

"Don't you ever apologize for crying during a powerful performance." Kankri said softly, a hand against his chest and he gave her a sweet smile, looking back towards the girls sitting at the piano. Aranea was sniffing and wiping at her cheeks, Meulin sitting beside her and watching her closely, offering her a tissue. Feferi looked to be in much the same state, her eyes shimmering as she fanned at her cheeks, Eridan standing beside her with his typical disinterested frown.

Karkat looked away, turning towards the door, tugging Dave along with him as he went. He didn't want to see Feferi cry. With her eyes wet like that, she looked even _more_ like Aradia. She had always been quick to cry. He stepped out into the sunshine and glanced over to see Cronus was standing nearby beneath a pitiful-looking birch tree, giving them both a little wave as he enjoyed his cigarette, smoke curling in the air around him. He called over to the older boy as he ushered Dave along, "We're going to grab something for lunch from the food court! Be back in ten!"

Cronus tipped his cigarette and nodded towards them before returning his gaze to the fluffy clouds rolling across the blue sky overhead, Karkat sighing softly as Dave pressed close to his side and giggled against his shoulder. "I think we have more sex in one day than that poor guy's had his entire lifetime!"

"Oh my god you're _high_ , Dave. How much did you take?" Karkat chided softly as they started across the patchy lawn, the albino humming softly against his side as he calculated with his fuzzy mind.

"How much is...a micro dose, plus a fat joint, plus a honey dab before Kurloz left for work?"

" _Too much for theatre rehearsal!_ " Karkat hissed softly, Dave snorting a bit as he covered his mouth with his hand, clearly amused at his displeased reaction.

"Oh c'mon KarKitty. I made you feel good, didn't I?" He linked their fingers together, squeezing his long digits teasingly. "You came _so much_ inside me, you were saying the _dirtiest_ things while-"

Karkat pulled Dave to an abrupt halt as they rounded the corner of a building and almost slammed into John, the younger boy gasping softly and laughing nervously while quickly swerving out of their way. His movements jostled the drink holder he was carrying so a little splashed out of the cup to the far right, John glancing down a bit to assess the damage.

"Oh jeeze, I'm so sorry guys! I guess I wasn't paying attention!" He gave Karkat an apologetic look, then glanced over at Dave, who was still draped against the other boy's side suggestively. John's face started turning a light shade of pink and he let out another nervous laugh before taking another step away from them, heading back towards the theater. "Sorry about that! Oh and...umm!" He paused for a moment, Karkat staring at him, waiting for him to continue his train of thought. "I didn't...mean to watch you guys before! I uh-" He glanced towards the sky as if praying for help before adding tentatively, "I embarrass myself really easily, and I'm sorry for invading your privacy. I hope we can still be friends?" He didn't wait for a reply, quickly turning on his heel and making a beeline towards the theatre entrance, Karkat watching him go with a slow blink.

Dave waited until John was a fair distance away before bursting out in giddy laughter, slapping a hand over his mouth again as he jerked against Karkat's side. "Sweet mother of god that kid is _definitely_ a virgin! I mean seriously, what the fuck was that? He's so fucking _cute_!"

"Off limits, Dave." Karkat said, frowning down at the albino as he started walking again. "I'm serious, I'm not playing around. I will tell you this _again_ when you are sober. The freshmen are _off limits_."

"Awe, really?" Dave whined, clinging to Karkat's arm as they began down the sidewalk, taking the forking path leading across campus towards the food court. "Even that cutie with the purple streak in his hair?" He bit his bottom lip, making a soft suggestive sound in the back of his throat. "He looks _extremely_ hetero. You know how I love a challenge."

Karkat was not amused. "No. None of them. Off limits!" He growled, reaching down and pinching Dave's ass through his leggings, the boy jerking away from him with a scowl. "Also, the next time you show up to practice _this high_ I'm going to edge you repeatedly and deny you until we're completely finished for the day. That _includes_ locking up the theatre."

Dave gasped and gave him an incredulous look, pouting as he reached for his hand again. "No way! That can take _hours_ on nights when Kankri is running lines after the newbies leave! You're _sadistic_!"

Karkat sighed softly, lacing their fingers once more, leaning closer so he could say softly, "Save this sort of thing for when we're alone, okay? Or with Kurloz. _Especially_ if you want me to trip with you. I don't want this to be like last time." He looked up towards the food court, adding gently, "Gamzee was always in _so_ much trouble with Kankri and Rufioh. I don't want to repeat the same mistakes. I care about you, and I care about the troupe. I don't want to have to pick sides. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Kitty…" Dave said softly, leaning up for a kiss before running ahead with his arms extended gleefully, Karkat chasing after him with a little huff. "I want a fruit smoothie! Orange, peach, and strawberry! Ooo and can we get sandwiches! I want peanut butter and jelly! _With_ banana!"

" _Fine_." Karkat called after him, rolling his eyes and glancing over his shoulder, thinking about what John had said. He'd...apologized. Genuinely apologize. It had been...surprisingly sweet. Maybe he wouldn't completely ignore all of the newbies after all. Terezi had said to give them a chance. She was usually right, about almost everything. Sometimes he hated her for it, the smug little brat. It was true enough that he liked listening to all of them sing, and they were definitely artistically talented. Maybe he _should_ try to connect with them. He could always use more friends.

-x-x-x-

Nepeta sighed softly, tracing the curve of the headstone and looking down at the eloquent engraving, smiling softly. "Hey babygirl. Sorry I haven't been visiting as often lately. I've been going through some stuff, but I'm back now. I just wanted to stop by and say hi." She knelt down beside the grave, laying the bouquet she'd brought along with her against the grassy mound, tracing the edges of the white rose petals for a few moments before withdrawing. She looked out across the cemetery as she rose to her feet, shoving her hands in her pockets and glancing up at the sun from behind her cat-eye shades. It didn't look like anyone had come to visit for a while, not a trace of flowers or candles to be found. It made her wonder about Karkat.

She pulled her phone from her pocket as she stood beside the grave, finding the contact in question and clicking dial, holding the device up to her ear as it started to ring. She waited for a while before it clicked over to voicemail, the box apparently full. She switched to texts instead, sending him a message. She doubted he would respond.

//Nepeta: Hey Karkat.

//Nepeta: I'm back in town.

//Nepeta: I came to see Aradia.

//Nepeta: I hope you're well.

She stared at the texts for a moment before returning her phone to her pocket, glancing down at the grave once more and leaning down to kiss the top of the headstone, whispering softly against the warm granite, "Be good, babygirl. I'll see you soon."

She turned away and began down the incline towards her parked car, sliding into the driver's seat and sighing heavily before she felt her phone buzz. She tugged it from her pocket and checked her messages, seeing Karkat had already replied. That was unusual. Opening the message, she saw the contents held a phone number she didn't recognize. She clicked on the sequence and pressed the phone to her ear once more, listening to it ring for a moment before a voice picked up on the other end.

" _Hey Catnip. It's Dave._ "

She smiled and pushed her shades up to rest atop her head, surprised to hear his voice. "My favorite camboy, how are you Twinkie?" He laughed smugly at the nickname, Nepeta grinning from ear to ear. "The last time I checked your subscriber count you were fast-tracking into the _thousands_! How are you possibly still slumming in this godforsaken city?"

" _I was just about to ask you the same thing, showing back up after three years._ " He replied softly, asking after a moment, " _How's it going? Living your best life as a fancy escort in the big bad city?_ "

"You know it!" She laughed, "It pays well, that's for sure. Better than anything I've ever made camming." She glanced out the window, watching the clouds rolling overhead. "Is Karkat there with you?"

Dave let out a low, sleepy hum. " _Kitty's sleeping. I'll have him call you when he's up?_ "

"Yeah, thanks Dave…" She was quiet for a moment, then asked softly. "Do you know if he's been to see Aradia since I left?"

Dave was quiet for a long while before breathing softly against the speaker, saying carefully, " _A lot has changed, Catnip. I don't think he could handle visiting her now even if he wanted to_." He paused again, Nepeta listening to him breathe. Finally, he spoke. " _He...tried to kill himself. After visiting Gamzee in the hospital. It was too much._ " He exhaled softly, his voice muffled a bit as he said, " _With Aradia gone, and Gamzee insane, and you leaving town without notice it just..._ " His voice trailed off. " _We missed you, Nepeta. It's good to hear your voice. How long are you planning on staying? Are you heading back soon?_ "

She frowned a little, thinking long and hard before replying, "Actually, I was thinking that...if I had somewhere to stay, I might consider staying for a while. I have some money saved up from my past few jobs and I'm kinda needing a break from the limelight." She rested her arm against the car door, tracing her nails against her lips before asking, "Would you want to do a few shows with me again? Maybe bring in a little extra on the side?"

" _Oh honey, I'm not living with Dirk anymore._ " He clicked his tongue, sighing before he said. " _I would offer to let you stay with me, but I'm not staying at my own place and I'm not exactly sure if you would be...comfortable in this environment_."

Nepeta quirked a brow, asking curiously, "Are you staying with Karkat?"

Dave was quiet again. " _No, though Karkat definitely stays with us a lot, almost enough to consider him a roommate. We practically live together_." He chuckled softly, his voice affectionate. " _You know how he hates being alone_."

Nepeta pieced things together based on what Dave wasn't saying, asking after a few moments of silence, "Are you still hooking up with Kurloz?"

" _Yes_." Dave said, Nepeta closing her eyes and clenching her jaw a bit.

"Are you using?" She asked softly, trying not to let the tremor in her voice show.

Dave exhaled deeply, and Nepeta could hear him shifting to sit up, movements a bit fuzzy as he carried the phone against his side, and then there was a soft click of a door closing behind him. Now that he wasn't right beside Karkat, Dave's voice was clearer, more awake, Nepeta waiting patiently to hear what he had to say. " _Yes. I'm using. We both are, though Karkat sticks mainly with the fun stuff. Weed. Ecstasy. LSD. I know better than to give him anything else._ "

"Cocaine?" Nepeta asked, pausing to hear his response.

" _No. Not since Gamzee. I do, on occasion, if Kurloz has the good stuff._ "

Well at least he was being honest about it. There wasn't really any point in lying, anyway. It wasn't as if Nepeta wouldn't find out if they started hanging out again. She clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes towards the ceiling, then asked as gently as she could, "Is he treating you well?"

" _He's amazing. We've been living together for over a year._ " He hummed a bit before adding, " _Dirk he...he wasn't handling my camming very well after finding out his friends were watching me._ " He snorted a bit, his voice hinting at his annoyance. " _He's engaged now to some guy, Jake I think? He's settled down, and I'm too wild for him. We haven't spoken since I moved out._ "

Nepeta hummed agreeably. "Sounds like Dirk. He was always old-fashioned when it came to sex work." She was quiet, listening to Dave breathing on the other side of the line, then said softly, "You'll have Karkat call me when he's up?"

" _Yeah, Nepeta. I will._ "

"Alright." She whispered, arching her brow a bit. "Hey, Dave?" The boy made a soft sound, waiting for her to continue. "I love you guys, both of you. You know that, right?"

" _I know, honey. I know._ " He paused, then added, " _If you want to stay a while, you should ask Karkat about crashing at his place. He's never there anyway, and it would be somewhere quiet away from all...this._ " He chuckled a bit, then said, " _We could probably set up a scene at his place too, if you're still interested_?"

That sounded a lot better than staying at Gamzee's old place, especially if Kurloz was still dealing which, judging from the list of drugs Dave just mentioned, pointed to a resounding _yes_. "We'll see. I'll catch you later, Twinkie."

" _Later, Catnip._ "

He hung up a moment after they'd said their goodbyes, Nepeta bringing her phone to her lap and sitting in silence, her mind reeling. Karkat had visited Gamzee after Aradia…? He'd tried to kill himself? She wasn't sure which was more surprising, that Karkat was spending his time with Kurloz and Dave or that he hadn't been to visit Aradia at all since she was buried. She buckled her seatbelt, switching on the ignition and adjusting her radio for the drive into town. There was no way in hell she could just leave without talking to him. If he called her back, she wanted to have this conversation in person. She couldn't just run like before.

The radio went through a few commercials as she drove slowly through the cemetery, finding the exit to the main road and fixing her shades across her eyes again, singing along softly to the music drifting through her speakers as she pulled out into the street. She hadn't been home since Aradia's funeral. She wanted to see her sister. It had been too long.

" _I must be dreaming or  
__We're onto something  
__I must be dreaming for  
__I don't fall in love lawlessly  
__I must be dreaming or  
__Pinch me to waking  
__So undeniably yours  
__As long as I'm losing it so completely_!"

The smaller streets became busier as the neighborhood roads bled into steady traffic, Nepeta rolling down her windows to let in the fresh, sunny air while turning up the volume on the radio.

" _Incendiary glance  
__Become and collide in me  
__Zoom in, enhance, hold;  
__While I go helplessly sky high  
__Magic eye sugar rushing...  
__Don't stop!_ "

She tapped her fingers against the wheel, ducking her head a bit to read the overhead signs for directions to merge onto the highway, pulling around the corner and accelerating onto the ramp, heading into the heart of the city. It was still big compared to other surrounding towns, but it wasn't even half the size of the city she had been living in since she moved to the coast. All of the buildings here somehow looked very small, like cardboard cutouts. It didn't feel real.

" _Euphoria~ I can't take any more of  
__Euphoria~ I can't take any more of  
__Yeah I'm losing it_ …"

She checked her mirrors and switched lanes, tapping her fingers along to the beat as she wove between slow traffic. She found her surroundings more and more familiar as she took the exit she was looking for and headed towards her old neighborhood. She wondered fleetingly if her sister would be home, or with her girlfriend. With the theatre gone, where would they be? Probably outside on the fields, watching the LARP club. It was a beautiful day for it. If she wasn't home, she would check the campus next. She regretted wholeheartedly leaving for the coast while on such bad terms with her older sister. They hadn't communicated at all since she had moved out.

" _I must be dreaming or  
__We're onto something  
__Just what d'you make me for?  
__I don't fall in love lawlessly  
__I must be dreaming or  
__Pinch me to waking  
__So undeniably yours  
__As long as I'm losing it so completely!_ "

She drove through the familiar streets, slowing down before her childhood house, parking against the curb of the street.

" _I'm losing it, I'm losing it here...  
__I must be dreaming, I must be dreaming_ …"

She sat there for a few moments, then gathered her courage and stepped out of the car, smoothing her hands against her oversized jumper and picking at the fabric for a moment before fixing her eyes on the house. There was a car in the drive, a blue car she vaguely registered as Aranea's. That meant Meulin was likely home.

She walked up the stone path weaving through the lawn, glancing over at the small flower garden she had started with her sister years before. She smiled softly, then turned to look at the front porch when she heard the screen door opening. Aranea was standing there, eyes wide as she hovered in the doorway. She started to speak but stopped, turning around and signing something that Nepeta couldn't see before stepping out onto the porch alone, closing the door behind her.

She stared down at the younger girl before taking a few steps closer, watching her with those soft baby-blue eyes, pushing up her glasses habitually and waiting to see who would speak first. Upon seeing Nepeta was _not_ taking the initiative, she offered the girl a small, polite smile, then asked quietly, "Is there something I can help you with?"

"I-" she started, her voice shaking a bit. She took a breath and tried again. "I just want to speak to her. Please."

"She doesn't want to converse with you, Nepeta."

The younger girl tugged at the hem of her jumper, glancing down and nodding a bit. "I know." She looked up and met Aranea's eyes again. "I know you're protecting her, but please. She's my sister." She tried taking a step forward, but Aranea took a step instead, and Nepeta was forced to take a step back to keep distance between them. "I miss her. I want to mend things between us. Please, Aranea." She could feel her lips quivering as she tried to sound calm despite her rising emotions. "I love her so much. I made a mistake. Wouldn't you give Vriska another chance?"

Aranea sighed heavily at that, glancing away. "I understand that this rekindling is something you feel you need, but have you considered what _she_ needs?" She reached up, tucking her hair behind her ear and adding on, "What you said to Meulin, and what you did after, that has stayed with her in your absence. It has grown into something that cannot be easily mended." She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, cocking her hip lightly as she spoke. "I understand you were grieving, that you lashed out because she was there, because a part of you thought she would _always_ be there no matter what you did or said." She tapped her nails against her arm lightly, tilting her head a bit as she looked to the other girl. "You _have_ to take responsibility for your actions. You hurt her deeply, Nepeta. I couldn't imagine Vriska ever treating me that way. If she had suddenly left in the middle of the night after saying such _horrible things_ , I would have..." She shook her head, not having the words she truly needed to express herself.

Nepeta watched her helplessly, nails biting into the soft fabric of her jumper as she asked quietly, "How can I take responsibility when you won't let me see her?"

She thought for a moment before replying. "Let me speak with her first. If she is amenable to the idea, I'll arrange for a coffee date tomorrow." She took out her phone, offering it to the other girl. "I don't have your contact information anymore." Nepeta took a step closer, accepting the device and entering in her details before offering it back again. Aranea met her eyes briefly before turning back towards the front porch, saying softly over her shoulder, "Should you not hear from me, do not come here again. I'll text you by the morning."

Nepeta watched her go, Aranea closing the door behind her, leaving her alone out on the lawn. She exhaled and blinked back the tears in her eyes while turning to walk towards the street, stepping over to her car. She felt her phone vibrate just as she opened the door, taking it out and answering the incoming call, sniffing softly. "Hey, Karkat. I…" She paused, listening to his words, a small smile crossing her lips. "Yeah, yeah I'm back in town." She let out a soft breath, then asked shakily, "Could I maybe spend the night at your place?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics in order of appearance:
> 
> Grease - You're The One That I Want
> 
> Les Miserables - I Dreamed a Dream
> 
> Frou Frou - Must Be Dreaming
> 
> Thanks for reading! More to come!


	4. Felicity

Kurloz glanced up, indigo eyes shifting across the heavily packed dance floor. The club was thick with smoke and the scent of sweat and sex, house bass overwhelming all other sensations save for the pulsing, thunderous vibrations. He nodded to a couple of girls that wandered by him, the girls smiling and giggling to one another as they continued around the edges of the dance floor, Kurloz watching them go with a little smile. He looked towards the boy that approached him, accepting his handshake with one hand, sliding the folded bills he'd been given into his cargo pants while offering him a small baggie with the other. The boy took it from him with a little nod and disappeared back into the crowd, quickly fading out of sight. A girl slid up to his side a few minutes later, tucking away money in his back pocket, Kurloz leaning down with a little smile and offering her a baggie as well. She took it from him with a flirty grin before stepping away, Kurloz watching her go appreciatively, turning back to survey the crowd and wait for his next client to approach.

He spent most of his nights lingering around the club scene when he wasn't at home with his usual playmates. The scene reminded him of his cousin, the way Gamzee would constantly drag him out to a party or concert every night after theatre practice, and raves and festivals on the weekends. He partied hard, and Kurloz was one of the only people who'd been able to keep up with him. He'd always had a taste for harder hits than Dave or Karkat. Kurloz's biggest regret was letting Gamzee's addictions run away with him, and supplying him without question. He had trusted his cousin to know his limits. He had been wrong.

He glanced down when he felt someone touch his arm, grinning wide and lifting his hands to wave and sign, [Meulin, how are you? I haven't seen you here in quite some time!]

The deaf girl smiled up at him excitedly, signing back her reply. [Vriska wanted to come out with some of her LARP group friends and party for a while! We just came from the karaoke bar with everyone!] She turned and pointed to the group near the front of the DJ platform, Kurloz easily making out Vriska, Aranea, and Tavros. The twins were beckoning towards a group of boys who were making their way through the crowd closer to them while Tavros created a little room for them to dance. Kurloz spotted Equius right away, the tall, dark boy carving a path before him with Sollux and Mituna close behind, the brothers laughing together and shoving one another playfully. He looked down at Meulin again when she waved her hands to redirect his attention, signing, [Can I buy a couple pre-rolls from you? Hybrid, if you have some?] She smiled up at him, adding, [Is twenty okay?]

Kurloz held up a hand, shaking his head when she reached for her money. He dipped into his back pocket and pulled out a small pack, offering it to her with a smile. [My treat. You go have fun with your friends. Stay safe.]

She gave him a soft expression and accepted the pack, turning her cheek and tapping her finger against it twice. He smiled and leaned down to kiss her there, feeling Meulin's laughter as she giggled sweetly before pulling away with a wave. He watched her go with a fond expression, looking up towards Mituna again. He was with Sollux, and they seemed to be getting along, which likely meant he wouldn't be speaking to Kurloz tonight unless he managed to sneak off without his younger brother catching on. He didn't mind, it had always been that way between them. Kurloz was content with occasional sex, he wasn't looking for anything complex. It was one of the biggest reasons he got on so well with Dave, they were both aromantic. It was easy, simple. Just the way Kurloz liked it.

He looked between the group of friends absently before turning his eyes towards the dance floor again, noticing a few girls were chatting with one another and gesturing towards him with small, concealed movements. He arched his brow a bit, giving them a little smile and beckoning them closer. One of the girls hesitantly walked over to his side, standing up on her toes and cupping her hands against her mouth so she could speak over the bass. He nodded to her request, holding up three fingers, the girl glancing around the crowd for a moment anxiously before fishing out the required bills and trading for a small goodie bag. She gave him a grateful smile as she returned to her friends, Kurloz giving the girls a little wave before they disappeared off to the bathroom together. It was going to be a busy night.

-x-x-x-

Tavros really hadn't been expecting for the club to be this packed, or for Vriska to be quite so drunk. She was clingy when she was inebriated, and while Tavros didn't necessarily mind her holding his hand and dragging him around the club he was also a little tipsy at this point, and his excuses for not making out with her were starting to sound unbelievable even to himself.

She laughed heartily as they reached the opposite side of the bar, leaning over and waving at the bartender until he made his way over to her to take her drink order. She indicated a few items on the neon board hanging over the liquor wall, the bartender nodding before disappearing again and leaving Vriska and Tavros to converse while he fixed her requested drinks. The music overhead was so loud he could barely hear her speak, even standing this close, the bass reverberating through his soles.

" _I wanna ruin our friendship,  
__We should be lovers instead~  
__I don't know how to say this,  
__'Cause you're really my dearest friend~_ "

She turned to face Tavros again, wrapping her arms around his neck and tugging him closer so he could hear her over the pounding music. "You're so afraid of messing something up between us Tavros, but have you even considered how _amazing_ it might be?"

" _Take my hand,  
__'Cause we are more than friends  
__I will follow you until the end~_ "

She pulled back a bit to meet his eyes, one of her hands reaching up and dragging her nails through his fade gently, tugging lightly when she reached the thicker waves on top. "Are you _that_ intimidated by me? Really? If I was _any other girl_ , would you be swerving this hard to keep your hands off of me?"

"Vriska, I…" He inhaled softly as she tugged his hair again, that sharp pressure rolling through him and sending waves of heat down his spine.

" _Take my hand,_ _I cannot pretend  
__Why I never like your new boyfriends~_ "

"Listen, it's not that…" She leaned a bit closer, her baby-blue eyes staring up at him expectantly. She was warm and her perfume smelled really nice, and he could _definitely_ feel her breasts and thighs against him through the thin layers of her tight clothing. He couldn't deny it, he wanted to kiss her _really_ badly, but he couldn't _tell her that_. She gave him an impish grin before turning away and accepting the drinks the bartender set out for her, sliding him a little tip and turning to give Tavros the second glass, the boy groaning softly when he realized she'd ordered for him as well. "Jeeze, Vriska, I know your sister is driving but I don't usually drink this much…"

"Bottoms up, buttercup!" She grinned, clinking her glass against his and throwing the shot back, Tavros exhaling softly before following suit, the liquor burning and causing his nostrils to flare as it seared down his throat. Vriska gave a little cheer and took his empty glass, setting both of their glasses down atop the bar before taking his hand again and leading him back onto the dance floor. He followed after her into the sea of people, and when she turned to face him and started _moving_ he couldn't keep his eyes off of her. She took his hands, brought them both to her hips, and then pressed closer against him, her nails teasing along his abs and pecs before resting against his shoulders as she shouted teasingly against his cheek, "How many times do I have to give you permission to touch me before you take the initiative, Tav?"

" _I wanna ruin our friendship,  
__We should be lovers instead~  
__I don't know how to say this,  
__'Cause you're really my dearest friend~_ "

"Vriska, you know I don't…" He rubbed his thumbs against her hips, the soft fabric of her short dress clinging to her curves in all the right ways. "It's not that I don't find you attractive, or I don't _want_ you, I just…"

"You're just afraid to ruin our friendship. I know, I know, you've told me a million times!" She pressed closer to him, her words echoing the music pounding overhead, her breasts against his chest as she began grinding her hips against his. He was half-hard despite himself, inhaling softly and closing his eyes with a shudder and she rolled her hips purposefully against his cock. "Can you forget about that for a moment, and just _enjoy_ yourself with me?"

" _We should be lovers instead  
__'Cause you're really my dearest friend~_ "

Alright, yeah, okay. He might be able to do that. His inhibitions were slowly fading, though he wasn't quite sure if it was due to the alcohol or how _good_ she felt pressing against him like that, his hands shifting to take her hips and slowly rock back against her to the rhythm of the bass. She made a delighted sound against his ear and tightened her grip, shifting her arms around his neck and tugging him down to her, their lips almost touching. She searched his eyes, and he breathed against her, shivering at the feeling of her nails tracing patterns in his fade.

 _Please_ don't let this be a mistake, he _really_ didn't want to have to quit LARP over this if something went wrong. He didn't want their friends to choose sides, for their group to fall apart, if they ended up breaking up badly. There was so much drama that could potentially happen if they were to fuck this up. He wished for a moment he could see things through her eyes. She was always so sure about everything. She never doubted them for a moment. She'd waited on him for years. _Years_. She'd never stopped wanting him, no matter how many times Tavros turned her down. There was a magnetism there no one could shake.

He wet his lips, and she beamed up at him, not taking that final step, waiting for him to act first if it was what he truly wanted. She'd given him the go-ahead for years now, and he'd never had the courage to act upon it. Not once. When he'd heard she'd given John her number he just...he couldn't imagine seeing her with anyone else. At least not in their friend group. The clients she saw, they were all strangers, people Tavros could forget about. He couldn't forget about John, couldn't turn a blind eye if he and Vriska ended up together. It twisted up something inside of him just thinking about it. He had to take a chance now, before it was too late and he lost her. _Please_ don't let this be the biggest mistake of his life. He couldn't imagine his life without her.

He shifted one of his hands to the small of her back and closed the distance between them. She made a soft sound against his lips, arching up ever-so-slightly to meet him with a little more force, practically melting against him. Their first kiss. He pulled back a moment later, his face hot as he looked down at her, surprised to see her cheeks were just as pink. He hadn't expected that, to see her look so surprised and suddenly almost shy. It was endearing, it clenched around his heart and held fast, and he smiled down at her sweetly before leaning in again to taste her lipstick once more.

Vriska let the softest sounds escape her as their lips met over and over, tightening her hold around his neck as he rubbed her lower back then shifted his hands down to cup her ass, squeezing her cheeks gently. She giggled into his mouth, tugging his hair lightly, and when they parted for breath she had a more familiar look across her face, all cool confidence and cheeky smirks. "My my, Tav. Finally decide to take the initiative after all?"

He watched her with a little smile, bringing one of his hands up her back while the other continued to squeeze her cheek. "You're such a damn brat, you know that? You're finally getting what you want and now you're rubbing it in my face. I should have waited another year before kissing you."

She gasped, faux shock as she swatted at his chest, Tavros chuckling deeply and bringing her close again, Vriska tilting her face up to meet him. Her hips found the rhythm of the music and when she started grinding again Tavros moaned shakily against her mouth, feeling her grin as she rubbed against his throbbing cock. He squeezed her cheek a bit harder, kneading against her pert ass and smiling at the soft gasp she pressed to his lips, searching her eyes as she pulled back a little and began to back away through the crowd, tugging him along with her.

It didn't take long for them to find a dark corner of the room where they could kiss against the wall uninterrupted, Vriska rocking against him eagerly as Tavros guided one of her thighs up around his waist. He kissed her deeper as he pressed her against the wall, smoothing his hand along her hip and then up under the hem of her dress teasingly, appreciating the soft warmth of her thigh. She moaned softly, her breath coming in short pants as she licked against his tongue, humming and keeping him close. He stalled for a moment after beginning to push up the soft fabric, meeting her eyes in surprise when he felt nothing but bare skin. Was she not wearing any panties under such a short dress?

When he met her eyes her expression was sultry beyond belief. "Green light." She said, squeezing her thigh against his hip, rocking her body against his slowly. "If you're interested?"

"Vriska…" He said softly, leaning in to give her a few soft kisses before pressing his lips to her ear, "You knew this was going to happen tonight? Even _I_ didn't know, not for sure…"

Vriska laughed against his ear, her nails dancing across his shoulders. "Rufioh _may_ have mentioned to my sister that you seemed pretty jealous about me giving John my number, so...I had a hunch?"

Tavros groaned softly, hiding his face against her neck while she giggled. "I'm going to _kill_ him…"

"Hey." She guided his face back up to hers, fingertips brushing his cheek. "It's different with you. It always has been, and always will be." She gave him a soft kiss. "Even if John was interested in being something _more_ than a client, I would politely explain to him I'm not interested in a relationship." She kissed his nose, still searching his eyes. "I want _you_ , baby. I've always wanted _you_."

"I've wanted you too, this entire time, I…" His brow was arched, his expression soft. "I don't want this to be a _mistake_ …" He shook his head lightly, Vriska pressing her palm to his cheek when he stilled. "How can you be _so sure_?"

"I love you, Tav." She said simply, giggling again when he stared at her in surprise. "It's okay if you don't feel the same way yet. I know that's a lot for me to just lay on you like that so suddenly, but it's true." She traced the curve of his jaw, her baby-blue irises reflecting the overhead lights shining down onto the dancefloor. "I'm committed to you, to a relationship with you. A future with you." One of her hands trailed down his chest, pressing over his heart. "I have never wanted _anything_ so badly as I want you, baby." She bit her lip, watching his expression carefully. "Will you be mine?"

Oh _wow_. Wow, she was always so amazing. She knew exactly what to say to make him flustered. He really hadn't expected her to ask him out. He was giddy with it, reeling from hearing her say she loved him, his heart hammering in his chest. "Yes Vriska, yes I-" She pressed their mouths together again, and he pushed her back against the wall, kissing her deeply while she moaned softly against his tongue. He hiked up her dress a bit more and grabbed her ass again, squeezing and kneading as she made soft, needy sounds against his lips, her nails catching on the collar of his shirt and tugging gently, asking for more. He pulled back to catch his breath for just a moment before crushing their lips together again, his fingers slipping down the curve of her ass and inner thigh to find her skin was already slick. He followed that wetness between her lips and teased her with his fingertips, listening to her vocalizations and panting against her mouth as he pressed his fingers slowly inside.

She gasped and whined needily as he began fucking into her slowly, curling his forefinger and middle against her walls and groaning as she clenched around him. She kissed him desperately, rocking her hips against his hand as he worked her into a frenzy, drinking in her cries as her voice elevated. He thrust into her as deep as he could with his wrist twisted like it was, then after a few long minutes of teasing he pulled his fingers out and brought them to his lips, licking them clean slowly as she panted and watched him, her legs shaking and her face completely flushed. She bit her lip and looked over his shoulder at the dance floor, searching for a few moments before adjusting her dress back over her exposed skin and taking his hand, leading him towards the bathrooms. They were unisex, a row of them down the hall and around the corner, Vriska weaving past a few people before finding one at the end that was miraculously unoccupied.

She tugged him inside and closed the door, locking it behind them, quickly tugging him back down for a kiss. Her hands worked at his belt and jeans while Tavros tugged up her dress with a soft grunt, bunching the fabric around her stomach, moaning into her mouth as she palmed him through his boxers. They kissed one another hungrily, like they'd been aching to for years, and when Vriska pulled down the waistband of his boxers and his cock sprung free Tavros pulled back with the last bit of his conscience, asking softly, "Condom?"

"If you want." Vriska replied, reaching up and dipping into her bra, searching for just a moment before pulling out a little foil square. She held it between her teeth, opening it and quickly moving to roll the rubber onto his straining cock, Tavros panting and groaning softly as she let the wrapper fall to the floor then pulled him back down for another kiss. He lifted her easily, Vriska wrapping her legs around his waist, her heels clicking together as she locked her ankles. He turned to press her against the cold tile wall, one of his hands against the tile while his other shifted into position, guiding the head of his cock inside her. She gasped loudly and whined as he pushed in, her nails biting into his nape and shoulder as he pressed close to claim her mouth, rocking his hips into hers until he was fully sheathed, Vriska clenching tightly around him. They stayed like that for a few moments, tasting one another and breathing in each other's moans before Vriska leaned her head back against the tile and nodded, biting her lip and searching his eyes. With her permission, Tavros started to move.

He held her thigh with one hand, his other hand against the wall for leverage as he slowly rolled his hips against hers, Vriska gasping and arching her brow at the strain. He watched her face, keeping his pace nice and slow while her body adjusted, and when she met his eyes again he quickened his thrusts. Vriska began crying out eagerly as he built his rhythm, gliding one of her hands down his chest, kneading against his muscles and whispering his name reverently as he moved his hand from the wall to hold her other thigh, squeezing her curves and kissing her hotly as she let her voice rise, her sweet moans and the sounds of their bodies meeting wetly echoing off the walls.

"Tavros! Tavros, ah yes _please_!" She cried out sharply as he thrust into her _just right_ and her whole body spasmed, her legs tightening around him. "Holy fuck baby, you feel _so good_ …"

"Ah, Vriska…" He moaned, shifting his hands to cup her ass and pulling her from the wall, shifting so he had his back against the tile and she could arch against him as much as she liked while he kept her balanced. She threw back her head and rocked her hips against his faster, pushing against his chest and arching herself just the way she needed so every thrust had him pressing up against her g-spot. He watched her, panting and working her faster over his cock, clenching his jaw and bucking his hips roughly when she started to moan out sharply continuously, feeling her pussy clenching tight around him. "You gonna cum for me?"

"Yes, yes! Oh baby, I'm cumming!" She gasped and cried out loudly, her voice ringing off the tile walls as her body clamped down around his cock like a vice, Tavros hissing softly and fucking her through it, Vriska's nails biting into his skin beneath the fabric of his shirt. He slowled his movements as she whined and pawed at his chest, her whole body convulsing. When he stilled she drew closer to him, resting against his chest and panting shakily, vibrating lightly around him as she giggled. "Holy _fuck_ , Tav…that was…" She wriggled her hips against his, then looked up and met his eyes, "You still need to cum?"

Tavros laughed a bit, shaking his head, "No, no I'm alright. It always...takes me a while, so…" He leaned down a bit, Vriska tilting her head up and kissing him slowly, still fuzzy with afterglow.

"Baby I _want_ you to cum…" She said softly, wriggling her hips again and pouting up at him. "Tell me how you like it? I'll help you..." He exhaled shakily at her tone, then kissed her lips slowly while kneading her ass, his fingers slipping between her cheeks and rubbing gently against her puckered entrance. She hummed against his lips and nodded, smirking as she pulled away. "Yeah? Yeah, I like that too." She licked her bottom lip suggestively. "Finger me open?"

 _Fuck yes_. He lifted her off his cock and allowed her back to her feet, her heels clicking lightly against the tile as she surveyed the bathroom. She walked towards the other wall closer to the toilet, bending over and gripping the handrail, looking back over at him with a heated expression. He walked over to her, breathing shakily and reaching down to knead at her ass for a few moments before slicking his fingers between her cheeks and forward to dip into her dripping pussy, coating his fingers before shifting to glide his fingertips over her entrance, prodding gently. She spread her legs a bit more, humming and rolling her hips a bit as he pressed the tip of a finger inside, his other hand smoothing up the rise of her ass and the curve of her lower back, taking in the sight of her bent over before him, waiting for his cock.

"You're sure?" He asked softly, glancing around the bathroom, wondering just how long they'd been fucking already.

"Oh I'm more than sure. I want to feel you cum inside me." She looked back over her shoulder again, searching his eyes. "I get tested regularly, I promise you I'm clean." She bit her lip, adding softly, "It's up to you, though. Whatever you're comfortable with, baby."

" _Fuck_." Tavros whispered softly, adding a second finger and scissoring slowly to stretch her tight walls, watching her expression start to change to something a bit more desperate. He fucked her with his fingers for a while longer before he moved his other hand to cock, peeling off the condom and tossing it in the toilet, stroking himself and watching the excess precum dripping down his foreskin fall to the tile floor. "Yeah, yeah if that's what you want. I'll give it to you, gladly."

She whined and nodded excitedly, gripping the handrail tighter and rocking her ass back against his hand, pressing his fingers in deeper. "Yes baby, _please_. Want you in me…"

He pulled back his fingers, giving his cock a few quick strokes before spreading her cheeks with both hands and pressing the tip to her tight entrance, feeling his foreskin rolling back over his glans as he pushed inside. He leaned down to kiss at her shoulder for a moment before sliding in all the way, feeling her clench around him as she gasped and moaned beneath him, rocking her hips back a bit more to take everything he had to offer. "Feel good?" He asked roughly, pressing his face against her neck and kissing against her soft skin, the scent of her perfume dizzying.

She arched back against him, moaning high in the back of her throat as she said over her shoulder to him, "You're so damn big, Tav! _Holy shit…_!" He grinned and righted himself, gripping her hips and starting a slow rhythm while Vriska cried out and moved back against him each time, meeting his thrusts with a quickening pace. He watched her for a while before closing his eyes, focusing on the sensation of her body gripping him in clenching waves, letting his voice go as he fucked into her faster, moaning roughly and starting to climb towards his peak. "Yes, baby _yes_ …!" Vriska gasped, Tavros opening his eyes to see one of her hands was still on the rail, but the other was between her legs, fingering herself while he fucked her. It was the hottest thing he'd ever seen.

"Fuck Vriska, you're gonna make me cum…" He groaned deeply, Vriska nodding frantically and rocking back against his quickening thrusts, moaning brokenly and rubbing her clit faster as he started to fill her, cumming in hot bursts. She kept bucking her hips back into his as he claimed her, whining loudly as she found her second release, shuddering and wobbling on her heels as her orgasm rocked through her, Tavros gripping her hips firmly to keep her upright. Their bodies slowly stilled, panting softly as they took a few moments to enjoy their shared endorphin rush before someone started banging loudly against the door. "Just a sec!" Tavros called, withdrawing completely and shuffling to shove himself back in his pants as quickly as he could, Vriska giggling cheerily and fixing her dress before reaching over and flushing the toilet, grabbing Tavros' hand and tugging him towards the door.

She exited first, waving her fingers at an unamused girl who gave her a fake smile then glared up at Tavros, the boy looking away quickly as they headed back towards the dancefloor. Vriska pulled him against the wall as soon as she found an open spot, laughing so hard she was practically snorting, Tavros chuckling as well and leaning in to kiss her slowly, Vriska humming at the soft touch. She laced their fingers, searching his eyes and breathing against his lips softly before arching up on her toes to kiss him again, her other hand pressing against Tavros' chest and rubbing affectionately over his heart. "I love you." She whispered, and Tavros felt it more than he heard it over the heavy bass. She watched him, her expression soft, then squeezed his fingers and tugged him back towards the main room, skirting the edge of the dance floor to undoubtedly seek out their friends once more.

Tavros followed behind her, blushing from ear to ear. When he was sure she could hear him clearly, he would make sure to let her know her feelings were reciprocated. There was so much he wanted to say and do, he was brimming over with sheer happiness. He hadn't thought this was possible, but now he had never been so sure of anything, all his doubts quieted. As she turned back to look at him, squeezing his hand and smiling brightly, he was inexplicably calm.

-x-x-x-

"So...you're going to get coffee tomorrow?" Karkat asked, offering Nepeta another blanket before crawling onto the couch beside her.

She nodded a bit, her eyes puffy from crying, glancing towards the television absently as she thought about what was to come. "Aranea was nice about it, it was just...cold. Detached. I _know_ she's only looking out for my sister, and I love her so much for that, it's just…" She crumpled the tissue in her hand, reaching towards the nearby box for another. "I really wish she would have at least let me _see_ Meu while I was there. It's been _three years_!" She inhaled sharply and hiccuped while looking over at Karkat, fresh tears dripping down her cheeks. "What if tomorrow it all goes horribly wrong, and I never get to see her again?"

Karkat frowned, reaching over and touching her hand gently. "Hey, listen. I don't think that's going to happen. I think Meulin just needs some time to forgive you. Aranea too." He squeezed her hand gently, adding on, "You're going to have to be patient with this whole process, but it's okay to be optimistic too. Meulin has been okay, really. She's always with Aranea, and she's helping out with things at the theatre just like before." He pulled his hand away to grab his tea, bringing the mug to his lips and sipping quietly for a few moments before saying softly, "Regardless of what happens, you can stay with me as long as you like."

She smiled over at him, nodding thankfully, then she sniffled and dabbed at her eyes again, what remained of her makeup a complete mess. "Thank you for being so kind, Karkat. You don't have to do anything for me. I know I hurt you too, leaving like that…"

"Hey. Look at me." He reached over with his free hand, balancing his mug on his knee and searching her eyes. "I know, more than anyone else, how much it hurt losing Aradia. You were with her since you were children, you grew up together. You fell in love long before I was even in the picture. I couldn't _imagine_ how devastating it was for you." He arched his brow, looking away a bit. "I barely made it myself, but we both survived. Both of us. We're still here." He met her eyes again, giving her a soft smile. "Now that you're here, and we're together again, I want you to _promise_ me you won't disappear without saying goodbye. I understand if you can't live in this city, if it reminds you too much of her, but when you go back to the coast I want you to still talk to me okay?" He pulled back his hand, sipping at his tea with a smile. "I'll even come visit you, if that's something you'd like? Maybe me and Dave?" He set his cup aside, relaxing back against the pillows behind him. "He's always ragging on me to drive him to the ocean so he can take pin-up shots on the beach."

Nepeta laughed wetly, sniffing and rolling her eyes while saying affectionately, "God he is _such_ an insufferable little diva." She turned and grabbed her mug from the table, blowing steam from the surface and taking a few sips, humming softly. "You were always the best at making tea. I've missed this." She looked up, meeting his eyes. "I missed _you_. So much, Karkat. I thought about reaching out to you so many times, but I didn't know what to say…" She took another sip, eyes downcast as she traced the lip of the mug with her thumb. "I won't leave like that again. I promise."

Karkat nodded, letting out a shaky sigh and turning towards the tv, grabbing the remote and flicking through the channels before finding something he liked and turning up the volume a bit. Nepeta smiled happily at his choice, setting her tea aside and shifting closer to Karkat. He opened up his arms for her and she lay against his chest, stretched out against the back of the couch and nestled at his side under his arm, Karkat petting through her hair slowly as she clung to his hoodie reflexively.

It felt familiar, cuddling like this, sharing casual platonic intimacy. They'd done this often years prior with Aradia, though Karkat had never explored anything beyond platonic cuddling and hand-holding with Nepeta, their mutual affection for her binding them together as close friends. Aradia had dated them both simultaneously, with their consent. She had been the one to introduce Karkat to polyamory. Nepeta had been her girlfriend long before Aradia and Karkat had met, they had grown up as childhood friends, dating since middle school. Much like Karkat and Gamzee. They were inseparable. Karkat had been fortunate enough to be invited into their world when they became friends in high school. He never expected for Aradia to want to date him too. He never dreamed that her love would be the match to spark the flame that would lead Gamzee to set their world on fire.

It was quiet for a while save for the tv, then Nepeta asked softly, "Dave said you've been staying with him a lot, at...Kurloz's place?" The way she had hesitated caught Karkat's attention. She must be thinking of Gamzee too.

His movements paused for a moment before he resumed petting her hair, pale fingers combing through her dark brown locks gently. "Yes." He replied simply, his tone indiscernible. He wasn't sure what she wanted him to say.

She tightened her hold on his hoodie, thinking for a moment before asking softly, "Are you sleeping with them?"

Karkat shifted a bit against her, and Nepeta looked up at him, olive green eyes searching his storm-grey. "Does it matter if I am?" He replied softly, arching his brow a bit.

"It matters if you're _prostituting_ yourself for drugs, yes…" She said in turn, just as soft, her tone gentle and concerned as she searched his eyes, still holding onto his hoodie tightly. "Aradia wouldn't want that for you…"

Karkat sighed heavily, withdrawing his hand, watching Nepeta as she sat up a bit. "Look, I'm not…" He waved his hand in the air, searching for the words. "I've never fucked Kurloz. We makeout sometimes, he watches me with Dave..." He rubbed at his forehead and temple, trying to explain himself without getting defensive. "I don't... _pay_ for anything. They share what they have, they take care of me when I'm down. They're my friends, they care about me. That's it." He watched her expressions carefully, tilting his head a bit as he added on, "They're both aromantic, Nepeta. You know I need more than that to have a relationship. It isn't...serious." He glanced away a bit, dropping his hand against the back of the couch. "Even with Dave. It's just sex." He met her eyes again hesitantly. "I trust him, he's there for me, y'know? We have _fun_. It's fun being with them." He worried his bottom lip with his teeth, huffing softly. "I think Aradia would understand me needing to _distract_ myself…"

"Okay." Nepeta said, reaching up and petting his face gently, her brow arched delicately as she searched his eyes. "Okay, I get it. I do. I just…" She leaned in a bit closer, saying softly to better explain herself, "I had to ask. I had to say something now, before my head twisted it into something it's not. So…" She smiled at him, petting the curve of his cheek, fingertips teasing the dark hair at his temple. "Thank you. For telling me that."

Karkat watched her quietly for a moment, then nodded, relaxing again and pressing his cheek to her palm. She pet his face for a short while, just watching him and sharing a comfortable silence while the tv played in the background, her expression tender. Eventually he shifted back a bit and she leaned back down to rest against his chest once more. They both found a comfortable position cuddled against one another before Karkat tugged his phone from the couch cushions, checking his messages and texting Dave. Nepeta listened to him typing absently, staring over at the tv and listening to his steady heartbeat, closing her eyes and breathing in his scent.

She was quiet for a while, then said while petting against his chest, "If you're sure it's alright, I'll stay a while. Whether I patch things up with Meulin or not, I don't want to be alone right now, and I know you don't either." Karkat moved to lay a hand against her back, rubbing against her shoulders lightly. "I have some money, I can pay rent-"

"Shut up." Karkat whispered softly, Nepeta looking up at him. "I'm not going to make you pay anything. My scholarship covers my rent anyway, dumbass." His phone reflected neon light against his stormcloud eyes, his lips twisted up into a small grin as he continued. "Of course you can stay."

Nepeta's face scrunched up a bit and she had to look away, hiding her face against his chest, Karkat rubbing her shoulders as she fought not to cry again. They stayed like that, resting against one another in complete repose, as if three years had never passed between them.

-x-x-x-

Vriska was the first to arrive, scouting out a table near the corner of the coffeeshop that was secluded away from the main area, setting down her coat and bag before heading to the counter. She ordered her usual, checking her texts and smiling down at the messages from Tavros, sending him back little lipstick-kiss emojis before casting her eyes towards the door. Her sister and Meulin would be arriving soon, but it seemed like Nepeta hadn't shown up yet. She frowned a little, tapping her nails against the countertop before turning to accept her coffee order from the barista, sliding her a little tip with a polite thank you before returning to the table to wait.

She kept her eye on the large glass windows on either side of the front door and perked up a bit when she saw someone entering that seemed strangely familiar. Skinny, wearing clothes twice her size, a beanie pulled over her short, dark brown hair. She stood up from the table, walking over to her as she glanced around the main area, searching for her sister no doubt. Vriska cleared her throat, the girl gasping softly and turning around with wide eyes, staring up at her in surprise.

"Vriska! Oh, I-" She gave her a wide smile and laughed nervously, fidgeting with her phone and keys before continuing anxiously, "I didn't know you were coming! I guess Meu isn't here yet?"

"Not yet." Vriska said, nodding towards the barista who was watching them expectantly. "Did you want to order something? I already grabbed a table."

"Umm! Sure, I should probably…" She turned towards the counter, ordering a chai latte, Vriska leaving her side and returning to her seat, holding her coffee cup between her hands and watching her with a faint smile. She seemed alright, maybe skinnier than she was the last time Vriska had seen her. She wondered what Nepeta had been up to these past three years. No one really knew anything except the bare minimum she'd left behind in a hasty note about living on the coast. The only one who might know more was Dave, but he was not the kind of person who talked about other people's business. Especially when it came to his friends. If Nepeta had kept in contact with him, Dave had never said a word.

Nepeta walked over to her a few minutes later, carrying her cup and taking a seat across the table, setting her things on the table beside her and giving her a friendly smile. "Karkat said they've rebuilt the theatre! I was surprised, after everything that happened with the fire…" She tapped her fingers against her cup lightly. "I guess it just reopened at the start of the semester?"

"Yeah, it looks really nice. Tavros and Rufioh helped with the rebuild." She took a sip of her coffee, then added, "We got to see a lot of it coming together over this past summer. Kankri did a good job picking out the interior design, with sis and Meulin helping of course."

Nepeta smiled again, and this time it felt a bit more genuine. "Let me guess, he finally convinced Rufioh to redesign the theatre in red?"

Vriska let out a soft laugh, nodding and looking towards the windows beside the front door. "Yeah, it's ruby red from top to bottom, trimmed in filigree and gold. The walls and ceiling are cream colored with gold accents. Even the stage curtains are all embroidered crimson." She smiled as she recalled the details. "They've got those big, arching double doors leading into the auditorium, and the skyboxes are decked out to the max. It looks like something straight out of the Victorian era, but simplified for modern appeal."

"It sounds beautiful." Nepeta said softly, Vriska glancing towards her as she spoke. "Maybe I'll stop by and see it sometime with Karkat. He said they have some new troupe members that are pretty talented this year."

Vriska hummed, taking another sip of her coffee and looking towards the door as it opened, waving until she caught Aranea's attention. Her twin spotted her as she turned, smiling and nodding as she stopped at the counter with Meulin, the brunette's eyes trained on Nepeta's back while Aranea ordered for them both. Nepeta had gone quiet, watching Vriska anxiously and fighting not to turn around. She stared down at her cup, tapping her fingertips against it and breathing shakily, Vriska watching her for a moment before saying softly, "You don't have to act so on edge, Nepeta. We're all here to hear you out. Well." She lifted her hands, signing along with her words as she spoke. "We're all here to see what you have to say."

Nepeta nodded lightly, glancing up as Aranea walked past her. She pulled over a chair from the table behind them to the side of their table so she could sit at the end, halfway in the aisle. She left a spot between herself and Nepeta, and the chair beside Vriska open so Meulin could sit between the twins, all three of them facing Nepeta so they could clearly see her as she signed. Aranea wasn't going to let Nepeta near her, not yet. Not until she determined what was best for her girlfriend. Nepeta had never felt more unsure.

Meulin stepped around the table and took her place beside Vriska a moment later, setting her cup and Aranea's down on the table before them. Aranea glanced over to her as she took her cup, taking a sip and watching Meulin with a little frown, the deaf girl's eyes downcast. Aranea set her coffee aside and then patted her knee gently, Meulin looking towards her as she signed, [Do you want to go first? Or do you want Nepeta to?]

Meulin hesitated for a moment, then lifted her hands to sign. [No, I want you to. Tell her what we talked about this morning.]

Aranea nodded, patting her girlfriend's knee gently before looking to Nepeta, signing as she spoke aloud, so everyone at the table could understand her words. "Meulin and I were discussing this morning what good things we would like to come out of this exchange. What you said to me before about Vriska, about giving her another chance if something similar had happened between us, that stayed with me." She looked to her twin before returning her eyes to Nepeta. "That being said, we all need your guarantee that something like this will never happen again. If Meulin gives you another chance, and you were to lash out at her again, we will all cut you out of our lives permanently. There will be no third strike." She paused for effect, letting those words sink in, before continuing. "If you understand that, and are willing to work on rebuilding what you've broken, then we will agree to allow you back into our lives, with certain conditions."

Nepeta glanced between them, trying to catch Meulin's eyes, signing as she replied, "What conditions would you have for me to abide by?"

Aranea looked to Meulin, the two girls sharing a long glance before Meulin finally turned her eyes to her sister. She looked hurt, hesitant and unsure, and began signing slowly. [If you wish to mend the hurt between us, you must promise you will not interact with anyone involved in your old lifestyle again.] Her frown deepened, her signing becoming more punctuated. [No drugs use. No interacting with Karkat, Dave, or Kurloz.] She paused for a moment before continuing. [If Gamzee were here, I would forbid that as well. Luckily for all of us, he is not.]

Nepeta's eyes widened, glancing to Vriska then back to Meulin. She was _already_ hanging out with Karkat, and she wanted to spend time with him and Dave. She frowned lightly, searching her sister's eyes. She knew from experience Meulin was friendly with Kurloz, why was she acting like this? Had something changed between them since she left? Pushing down her initial reaction, she took a breath and calmly responded. [By drugs I'm assuming you are implying substances other than cannabis?]

[Yes.] Meulin signed. [Anything other than cannabis.]

Nepeta nodded, signing back in turn. [I can agree to that.] She arched her brow, shaking her head lightly, [I can understand your desire to keep me away from my past, forcing me to distance myself from drugs by keeping me away from my old friends. But I can't agree to that, Meu.] She signed her sister's nickname gently, pressing a hand over her heart for a long pause before continuing. [Please don't ask me to choose between you and them. I can't promise not to hang out with Karkat, or Dave. If you want me to keep away from Kurloz, I will.] She frowned a little, adding. [I thought he was your friend, but if that is what you want me to do for you, I will.]

Meulin inhaled sharply, glancing away and meeting Aranea's eyes. Her girlfriend tilted her head to the side, signing with a soft expression, [You knew that was a lot to ask. Do you want to compromise and make an agreement?]

[I don't know.] Meulin responded, glancing away and thinking, avoiding looking across the table towards her sister.

Nepeta felt her chest clench, breathing in shakily. She didn't want to lose her sister like this, she couldn't throw away this chance. She lifted both hands, waving to catch her sister's attention. When the older girl turned to look at her, she gave her a smile and started signing. [Please, if there's anything else I can do for you, tell me. I want to make things right.] She could feel her eyes getting wet, trying to stay calm as she signed shakily. [I love you, Meu. I miss you. If you can give me a chance, I promise I will never hurt you ever again. I will do everything I can to earn your trust, and prove to you how sorry I am. Please?]

Meulin watched her, tearing up as well, glancing down and shaking her head, Aranea reaching over and clasping her hand gently. Vriska frowned a little, touching her arm and tapping lightly, Meulin looking over at her. She spoke softly as she signed, "I know you're hurting, but do you want this to be the last time you ever see your little sister?"

The deaf girl shook her head, hunching over a bit as a sob escaped her throat, Nepeta reaching across the table for her instinctively. Aranea stopped her before they touched, staring her down quietly and gently pushing Nepeta's hand away. "Give her a moment." She whispered, Nepeta drawing back her hand and pressing it to her lap, clenching her hand against the fabric of her oversized sweater, shaking as she felt tears slip down her cheeks. She looked between the twins and her sister, waiting, trying not to break down in front of them, clinging to the last shreds of hope she had.

Eventually Meulin sniffed and looked up towards Aranea, nodding a bit and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, exhaling shakily before fixing her sights on Nepeta. Her brow was arched, and her eyeliner was running a bit where she had wiped away her tears. She lifted both of her hands, hovering motionless for a few seconds before she began to sign. [Do you have someplace to stay?]

Nepeta watched her, glancing at Vriska then back to her sister again. She couldn't lie now even if she wanted to. [Karkat said I could stay with him. I spent the night at his place last night.]

Aranea let out a little sigh, rubbing at her temple, and Nepeta looked over at her briefly before turning her eyes back to Meulin. Her older sister watched her for a long moment, then began signing again. [How can I trust you not to use if you're staying with him?]

Nepeta didn't know what to say. What could she do, other than ask her for her faith? [I don't know how I can convince you, Meu.] She was at a loss, searching her sister's eyes. [I give you my word. Is that enough for now? I've never lied to you before, have I? Not about something like this.] She looked between the three girls watching her, saying aloud while continuing to sign, "If I was using, you'd find out somehow or another anyway, right? I'm not going to be sneaking around. I don't _want_ to sneak around, or hide from you. Any of you. I care about all of you. I want to earn back your trust." She searched her sister's eyes for a long moment, her voice breaking as she signed slowly, "Do you still love me?"

Meulin’s breath caught in her throat and she let out a soft, strained squeak, staring across the table at her sister. She held her eyes for a moment before she couldn’t keep her composure anymore, clapping a hand over her mouth as she nodded again and again, sobbing and hunching over, using both of her hands to hide her face. Nepeta was out of her chair and rounding the table before she even registered that she was moving, glancing down at Aranea for only a moment before the older girl pushed back her chair a bit and gave Nepeta room to reach for her sister.

She reached out to Meulin shakily, hovering at her side, the older girl reaching up to her and pulling her down into an awkward hug, crying against her shoulder. Nepeta wrapped her arms around her shoulders and held on tight, hiding her face against her long, dark hair and crying quietly, her chest throbbing. She could feel her breath, feel the way she was trembling, feel the warmth of her tears, her sobs muffled against Nepeta's sweater as they continued to embrace. She kept her close, breathing in the comforting, familiar scents of her shampoo and laundry softener, pressing her face into her sister's hair and rubbing against her shoulders lightly with her fingertips. She missed this feeling so much. She adored her older sister more than anything else in this world.

Nepeta could hear the concerned baristas whispering together nearby, but Aranea and Vriska were there, comforting them both and soothing them. She was surprised to feel Aranea's hand against her back, rubbing gently, Nepeta looking up and meeting Vrika's eyes, the girl giving her a soft, sad smile and nodding. She wasn't sure she deserved it, but she had been gifted with another chance. She would do whatever she could to preserve it.

-x-x-x-

Kankri clapped his hands together, calling out over the stage, "Okay everybody! Break's over! Now then, let's see who's next in line for today…" He thumbed through his notebook and found the page he had been working on previously, narrowing his eyes a bit until he found the right spot. "Alright! John! Eridan! I want both of you together on this one, let's hear you young gentlemen harmonizing together. Karkat?" He looked towards the catwalk, the boy in question responding by redirecting the spotlight to the center stage, changing the effects filter to a soft orange color and giving Kankri a thumbs-up. "Excellent! Now then, maestra?"

Aranea began on the piano lightly, giving Kankri a little smile, warming up a few measures while John and Eridan took their positions together on stage. John smiled over at the other boy eagerly with his typical upbeat attitude, while Eridan's face was set into its usual frown. Kankri stood back and crossed his arms, glancing towards Feferi and Kanaya who were standing nearby with Meulin, the girls signing back and forth slowly. Meulin must be teaching them something new today. He sighed heavily and looked past them towards the shadowed curtains, finding the area empty of a certain thick-headed greaser. He wasn't sure where Cronus was, but he wasn't going to delay rehearsal and wait for him to show up. He'd have to see if Eridan could match John's vocals instead.

John began first, his voice ringing out clear and bright across the platform, synchronizing beautifully with the piano.

" _Now that she's back in the atmosphere,  
__With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey~  
__She acts like summer and walks like rain,  
__Reminds me that there's a-time to change, hey, hey~_ "

He looked to Eridan, the boy watching him with a bored expression while he started to sing.

" _Since the return of her stay on the moon,  
__She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey~_ "

Kankri shook his head, still blown away by Eridan's unadulterated talent. They'd have to work on his expressions before their first performance in front of a live audience, but no one could deny the boy could _sing_. John grinned over at Eridan, nodding his approval and giving him an encouraging thumbs-up before starting into the next verse.

" _But tell me,  
__Did you sail across the sun?  
__Did you make it to the Milky Way  
__To see the lights all faded?  
__And that Heaven is overrated?_ "

Eridan took the next verse, replying back to John with much more feeling in his tone than his face was revealing, Kankri wondering not for the first time how he could sing so brilliantly without letting any emotion cross his face.

" _Tell me,  
__Did you fall from a shooting star?  
__One without a permanent scar?  
__And did you miss me while you were  
__Looking for yourself out there?_ "

Feferi and Kanaya were talking quietly at the edge of the stage, and while John started to sing the next verse Feferi crept up behind him, her eyes on Eridan. He noticed her right away, and she lifted her hands to her face, poking her cheeks and grinning big and wide, nodding to him eagerly. He frowned deeper than before, his eyes returning to John, ignoring her while she pouted and returned to Kanaya's side. It seemed he wasn't the only one who thought Eridan should try smiling a little bit more while he was on stage. If Feferi couldn't get him to smile, what could?

John started into the chorus again, smiling and gesturing up towards the warm orange light shining down from the rafters, his eyes focusing on the catwalk, Kankri following his gaze to Karkat. He was watching their performance with a little smile tugging at the corner of his lips, his arms crossed leisurely across the guard rail, Dave standing beside him wearing a similarly amused expression.

" _But tell me,  
__Did the wind sweep you off your feet?  
__Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day  
__And head back to the Milky Way?_ "

Eridan responded just as beautifully as he had before, and this time with Feferi's blatant encouragement, he forced himself to smile. It definitely looked pained, extremely fake. Yikes. Maybe he was better off not smiling after all? John was watching Eridan with a nervous expression, clearly confused, glancing over his shoulder and noticing Feferi was poking at her cheeks and smiling wide, trying not to let his laughter waver his voice as he sang out across the auditorium again.

" _And tell me, did Venus blow your mind?  
__Was it everything you wanted to find?  
__And did you miss me while you were  
__Looking for yourself out there?_ "

After several failed attempts to convince her friend to smile naturally, Feferi gave up, crossing her arms over his chest and scowling at him. Kanaya nearly lost it, hiding her face behind her hand and looking away, her shoulders jerking with barely contained laughter. Kankri propped his hand on his hip, sighing and watching as Eridan looked away, casting his eyes out across the empty front-row seats as he and John sang back and forth.

" _But tell me  
__Did the wind sweep you off your feet?  
__Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day  
__And head back toward the Milky Way?_ "

While Cronus was a handful, he had to admit his expressions while singing were beautiful. He glanced towards the open doors to the theatre, peering out into the sunshine. He would have to text him again after rehearsal. It was unlike the senior not to show up. Kankri could count on one hand how many times he'd called in sick, and he never just disappeared without at least texting Kankri first to let him know something came up.

" _And tell me  
__Did you sail across the sun?  
__Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded  
__And that Heaven is overrated?_ "

He exhaled softly, glancing down at his book. After this he would have the girls sing a duet together, and then maybe switch them up, Kanaya with Eridan and John with Aradia. He looked around for Rufioh or Horuss, but neither of them were within eyesight. He wondered if they'd finally finished those documents or if they were procrastinating again. Rufioh could be a stubborn layabout, but Kankri trusted Horuss to keep him on task for the most part.

" _And tell me  
__Did you fall from a shooting star  
__One without a permanent scar?_  
_And did you miss me while you were  
__Looking for yourself?_ "

Kankri redirected his attention to the boys before him, setting aside his other thoughts for later. John was bobbing his head lightly along with the piano, patting his hand rhythmically against his side as he closed his eyes and sang happily. His expressions were open, honest, and believable. Maybe working with John would help Eridan open up a little bit as well.

" _And did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day?"_

Eridan echoed back in similar fashion, standing perfectly still, avoiding looking at Feferi much to her dismay. Kankri glanced towards the petite girl, pursing his lips to keep from smiling too much. She looked absolutely _done_ with Eridan's shit.

" _And did you fall from a shooting star? Fall for a shooting star?_ "

John shook his head slightly, glancing between the two freshmen before looking up towards the rafters again, trying to ignore Feferi as well, smiling as he finished the last verse.

" _And are you lonely looking for yourself out there?_ "

Kankri noticed John was watching Karkat again, frowning a little as he observed their exchange. He wasn't sure if he should be concerned or not. He would have to keep an eye on their interactions going forward. He didn't want John getting too involved with them. That boy had no idea what he was potentially getting himself into by associating with Karkat, let alone Dave. At first Kankri had been glad that they had both come back, but they were different than before. A lot different. Karkat hadn't opted to sing, not once, and Kankri was certain Dave had shown up to practice high multiple times now.

While he wasn't all that surprised about Dave, he was certainly surprised at Karkat. It almost hurt seeing him quiet like this. He definitely wasn't the same boy as before. He never would be again. The person he was now, Kankri didn't recognize at all. They had all been so close once. Now it felt like they were complete strangers. Honestly, he didn't even know if he wanted to become friends with him again. His relationship with Dave was...unsettling, to say the least. Their troupe didn't need any distractions, or drama.

Rufioh had assured him he would take care of things if it came down to that, but Kankri still had his doubts. The guitarist tended to be too soft. After what happened with his triangle fiasco regarding Damara and Porrim several years prior, Kankri still couldn't trust him to make the hard decisions. If Karkat and Dave proved to be bad influences on his new bevy of cygnets, it would be up to _him_ to keep the newest members of their troupe and those two haughty misfits far apart. He should have taken action with Gamzee. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics in order of appearance:
> 
> Studio Killers - Jenny
> 
> Train - Drops of Jupiter
> 
> Thanks for reading! More to come!


	5. Spark

Dave was still laughing softly as they walked outside, an arm wrapped casually around Karkat's neck. "Holy _fuck_ that kid needs to get _laid_! I mean who even frowns that much? Doesn't it take more muscles to frown than smile or some shit like that? How much work even is it being that _grumpy_ all the time?"

Karkat sighed and rolled his eyes, shoving Dave off gently. He was being extra clingy today, probably from getting too stoned with Kurloz before rehearsal again, but Karkat was in a good enough mood to let it slide. Nepeta was on her way. Apparently Meulin had given her another chance, and they were going out with Vriska to celebrate at their usual karaoke spot. It had been a while since Karkat had gone out with them, it wasn't as if he sang anymore, but he'd do just about anything for Nepeta and she wanted him and Dave to go. At least Dave wasn't rolling, he didn't want to have to defend him against Vriska. They _all_ smoked weed, so theoretically she should be fine with his current level of inebriation.

His phone buzzed again, and he grinned at the message, looking around until he spotted her. She was walking around the corner of a building, stepping off of the paved path and onto the plush grass, singing to herself quietly. She was wearing her usual oversized olive-green jumper and a pair of ultramarine cat-ear headphones, bobbing along to the music as she stared down at her phone, still texting. Before he could check the incoming text Dave screeched and took off across the field, running towards her while shouting gleefully, "Catnip you're _here_!"

" _Twinkie!_ " She shouted back, running across the grass to meet him, the two giggling excitedly and hugging one another tight as Karkat shook his head and walked slowly over to them, smiling fondly and checking his messages one last time before shoving his phone in his pocket.

When he bridged the distance between them Nepeta reached out for him as well, pulling Karkat into her hug with Dave, the three friends staying close while talking excitedly. "Vriska said to meet her at the bar! Aranea and Meulin are staying in tonight so it's just us kids hanging out!" She stuck out her tongue teasingly, beaming up at Karkat. "Did you hear her and Tavros _finally_ hooked up? They're dating and everything! He's coming tonight too, with Equius!" She clapped her hands together excitedly, bouncing as she spoke. "I don't know if anyone else is coming yet or not, but if you guys want to invite anyone from the troupe we should all go together!"

Dave cackled and nudged Karkat, practically snorting as he arched his brow and said cheekily, "Wanna invite the new kids? Maybe Eridan will have less of a stick up his ass after a few drinks!"

Karkat sighed softly and looked to Nepeta, shaking his head. "Not really anyone here who would want to come, other than Eq. Cronus didn't show up today."

"Aww! I miss him!" Nepeta said with a pout, glancing behind Karkat towards the theatre and blinking slowly. "Is that…?"

Karkat turned to follow her gaze, inhaling softly. "Yeah. Those are our newbies." He knew who Nepeta was staring at. He had done a lot of that himself the first week after reopening. The resemblance was uncanny. "She's a freshman. Her name is Feferi." He nodded towards the boy beside her, "That's Eridan, her designated glowering shadow. I guess they've been friends since they were kids. Their personalities are polar opposite."

Dave snickered and leaned in closer to Nepeta, jeering merrily, "He's always stuck to her side, _majorly_ friendzoned, the poor little duckling." He nodded his head towards Feferi. "She's a complete airhead about it, or in complete denial! Either way, it's hard to miss how much he tries to flirt with her. It's actually pretty painful to watch."

Karkat rolled his eyes a bit before gesturing lightly to the other two troupe members walking slightly behind the first set, redirecting Nepeta's attention. "The taller girl is Kanaya, she sings opera and a cappella. She's really talented." He nodded to himself, thinking of her performance earlier that day. "She has a beautiful, strong voice." He looked away from the group slowly approaching, returning his eyes to Nepeta as he finished introductions by simply concluding, "The boy beside her is John."

Nepeta nodded to herself as she looked between them, then a little grin began across her face. "Should we invite them?"

" _Yes!_ " Dave giggled, pawing at Nepeta's shoulder. "Oh my god _yes_ , _please_ invite them! I want to buy that purple-plumed dweeb a jello shot _so badly_!"

"Are they even old enough to drink? They're _freshmen_." Karkat scoffed softly, frowning down at Dave. "You're just trying to get into that kid's pants and he's _not gay, Dave_."

Dave held up a finger and shook it at Karkat playfully, clicking his tongue while slowly shaking his head. "I'm not gay either KarKitty, but I still know how to ride a cock!"

Nepeta laughed gleefully, already turning to walk over to them, stopping before Feferi and Eridan and greeting them excitedly. Karkat watched her go with a strained expression, exhaling through his nose and cutting his eyes over at Dave when the albino wrapped an arm around his shoulders once more. "Off limits." He reminded, his tone more serious than it had been before.

"Yeah yeah, I hear you. I just think you're missing out on a golden opportunity here." He leaned closer, his breath ghosting against Karkat's ear. "I mean, she looks almost _exactly_ like Aradia did when we were in high school. Aren't you at least a little bit interested in getting to know her? She's seriously cute."

Karkat arched his brow a bit, giving Dave an incredulous look. "Yeah, I'm super interested in getting to know the girl that looks freakishly similar to my dead girlfriend. Thanks for the sympathy, idiot."

"Well Nepeta looks eager enough." He nodded towards the brunette, Karkat glancing over just in time to see her grab the younger girl's hand and tug her along behind her, Eridan watching them go with just about as much dismay as Karkat. He gave Feferi an apologetic smile as Nepeta pulled the girl along with her to Karkat and Dave, the albino beaming over at her and giving her a friendly little wave.

"Alright then! Feferi says they're not old enough to drink, but I know for a _fact_ they won't card us if we go in the back door and head straight for the front stage." She pressed a finger over her lips, winking. "If we keep them away from the bar, they won't ask for ID. I've snuck in there _tons_ of times before!"

Karkat met Feferi's eyes, the girl looking up at him with a little excited smile. "I've never snuck into a bar before! Are you sure we won't get into any trouble?"

Dave spoke up from Karkat's side, Feferi's eyes drifting to the albino. "The only trouble anyone would get into is the bar itself if they found out you're underage after serving you drinks! Otherwise…" He gave her an impish grin, "Let's go! It sounds fun right? We've never hung out after practice before!" Eridan had his arms crossed over his chest as he listened quietly from behind the two girls, his mouth set into a firm line.

Karkat looked between the two freshmen, then over at Kanaya and John who were standing nearby just out of earshot, their expressions mildly confused. They were talking together quietly, waiting to see what was going on, and Karkat found himself drawn to those blue eyes he'd watched throughout most of rehearsal. John kept looking at him, smiling shyly now and then, his eyes shining and his expressions bright. He had said he wanted to be friends. Karkat didn't know what it meant exactly, but he was curious about the other boy. There was something gentle and genuine about his expressions, especially when focusing on his bright blue eyes. There was an innocence there that Karkat found undeniably attractive. His presence was so unlike Karkat's usual environment, it was refreshing, almost soothing. He found himself drawn to it, wanting to experience more of it. They'd barely spoken, almost complete strangers. He felt like he might be ready to change that.

He took a deep breath to calm his nerves, smiling a little bit before glancing back down at Feferi. Dave was right. It didn't get much more auspicious than this. "Well? It's up to you. Have any other plans tonight?"

Feferi shook her head, smiling brightly and turning to wave over Kanaya and John, calling excitedly, "Come on, guys! Let's go karaoke!"

-x-x-x-

Feferi cheered loudly as Nepeta stripped her jumper off overhead, shaking out her hair and tossing the bundle of fabric down at Dave, the albino whistling and clapping excitedly. The girl grinned, grabbing the microphone from the stand and turning around to shake her ass while the intro to her song played, Karkat grinning from ear to ear. Holy _fuck_ he had missed her. She was always so upbeat and bubbly, but especially so when performing on stage. Tonight was no exception.

She turned around to face the audience again, smoothing her hand down her thigh and fixing her eyes on Karkat as she started to sing.

" _What's the time?  
__Well, it's gotta be close to midnight!  
__My body's talking to me,  
__It says, 'Time for danger!'_

_It says, 'I wanna commit a crime!  
_ _Wanna be the cause of a fight!  
_ _I wanna put on a tight skirt,  
_ _and flirt with a stranger!'"_

She danced around the stage, shaking her hips and arching her body against the air, the lace bralette across her small chest accenting her curves and her matching booty-shorts glimmering in the overhead lights. The embroidery across her ass spelt out _Good Kitties Get Catnip_ with little diamond hearts accenting the lettering, Dave cheering gleefully and whistling again as he cheered her on, Feferi matching his excitement.

" _I've had a knack from way back  
__At breaking the rules once I learn the games!  
__Get up, life's too quick, I know someplace sick  
__Where this chick'll dance in the flames!"_

Karkat glanced over at Vriska, Tavros, and Equius at the adjacent table, they were all cheering and clapping as well, Equius' face flushed a dusky shade of pink against his dark skin. Karkat laughed softly, looking over at Kanaya and John who were sitting with a very moody looking Eridan. It appeared Kanaya was trying to console him, patting his arm gently, but John was giggling and cheering for Nepeta as well, Karkat catching his eyes for a moment as he glanced away from the stage. Karkat held his gaze, searching his eyes, then casually gestured to the empty seat beside him, giving John an open invitation should he choose to accept.

John blinked in somewhat surprise, looking at Kanaya and Eridan for a moment before saying something and then getting up from their table, walking over to Karkat and sitting down beside him with a wide grin. "Your friend is amazing! I love this song!"

"Me too." Karkat said with a little grin, his eyes shifting back to the stage as Nepeta started singing again. She almost always chose songs from _RENT_ for karaoke. Karkat loved it every time. She was totally in sync with Mimi, in more ways than one.

" _We don't need any money,  
__I always get in for free!  
__You can get in too,  
__If you get in with me!_

 _Let's go out tonight~  
__I have to go out tonight~  
__You wanna play? Let's run away!  
__We won't be back before it's New Years Day!  
__Take me out tonight!_ "

Her hand slid down her stomach, rolling her body against her palm as she purred out a suggestive " _Meow_ ~" and popped her hips, then began dancing again. She spun around with a flourish, dancing towards the front of the stage and singing down to Feferi and Dave who were sitting as close to her as they possibly could be. They'd pulled their chairs away from the table to face her, clapping and cheering and egging her on as she shook her ass again. Nepeta was always her most confident in front of an enthusiastic audience.

Karkat and John were sitting at the table just behind them, and even with this slight distance the view was...nice. Very nice. Nepeta's slender body was built like a traditional gymnast's; willowy and lithe with sculpted thighs and curvy hips. The bling across her booty caught the light again and sent multicolored sparkles spinning across the dark walls of the karaoke bar, blinding Karkat's vision with a myriad of kaleidoscopic colors. An affectionate smile crossed his face when he reached up a hand to shield his eyes, watching her as she danced towards Feferi and Dave again, singing and dancing as if she were born to do so.

He had that feeling again, that strange stirring sensation he had felt not for the first time since last night. It was a warm twisting in his chest that, had he not known better, might have hinted at something decidedly _more_ than platonic affection. He pushed that thought aside for later dissection, turning to look at John instead. The boy glanced over at him when he felt Karkat's gaze shift, offering him a bright, friendly smile. Dave had been right, he was pretty damn adorable with that innocent, open expression across his face. Karkat wanted to see more of that smile, searching John's blue eyes with a calm, reserved expression across his face. He wanted to _know_ him. He took the initiative, and spoke first.

"So what's your story?" Karkat asked, leaning a bit closer so he could speak to John over the music. "You moved here from out of town, right?"

"Oh! Yeah, I'm uh...living with my older cousin, Jake." John said with another bright smile. "He has a house close to campus, so I'm staying there instead of the dorms. He's out of town a lot, so right now I have the place to myself until probably next week!" He grinned and shrugged a little. "It's nice having friends to hang out with! It gets kind of lonely being there all by myself." He searched Karkat's eyes for a moment, then added shyly, "Thank you for inviting me! For inviting us, I mean!"

Karkat nodded and returned his smile, his expression soft as he watched the other boy. John seemed a little nervous, but then again he always had a rather anxious air about him. Karkat wondered fleetingly if he had been that way all his life, or if it was Karkat in particular that made him nervous. He looked back to the stage again when Nepeta's voice changed, singing softer than she had before.

" _In the evening I've got to roam,  
__Can't sleep in the city of neon and chrome~  
__Feels too damn much like home,  
__When the Spanish babies cry…_ "

Her voice rose again as she swept her arm out across the stage, singing to the audience.

" _So let's find a bar,  
__So dark we forget who we are!  
__Where all the scars from the 'never's and 'maybe's die!_ "

John whooped and clapped for her, Feferi and Dave cheering in unison from their front-row seats before the stage. He looked elated, more than happy that he was here, with them, enjoying this moment. His happiness was infectious. His smile was ridiculously charming. Karkat couldn't quite place the exact reason he was so drawn to him, it was a collage of different feelings all wrapped into one. Something about John touched his heart. It was a gentle, peaceful feeling he hadn't experienced in a very long time.

" _Let's go out tonight~  
__I have to go out tonight~  
__You're sweet, wanna hit the streets?  
__Wanna wail at the moon like a cat in heat?  
__Just take me out tonight!_ "

Karkat smiled over at the other boy, chuckling softly at his enthusiasm as he whistled and cheered again. After a moment of internal debate he shifted a bit closer so that their shoulders were barely touching, drawing the other boy's attention once more. "I'm going to head outside after this and smoke. You want to come with?"

Those blue eyes looked up to meet his storm-grey as he spoke, and John nodded a bit. "Uh, yeah I can go with you if you want? I don't really smoke or anything, but we can chat while you do?"

Karkat nodded, keeping his sights attuned to John's face as his blue eyes turned to look back towards the stage, Nepeta finishing her song with her usual dramatic fanfare.

" _Please take me~ Out tonight~  
__Don't forsake me! Out tonight~_  
_I'll let you make me~ Out tonight~  
__Tonight, tonight, tonight!_ "

Karkat got up from his seat as Nepeta did her little bows and returned the microphone to its stand, Dave and Feferi greeting her as she stepped down from the stage. Nepeta quickly retrieved her olive sweater from Dave, tugging it over her shoulders with a happy sigh and hiding her slim body from view. She walked over and grabbed onto Karkat's hand as he moved from their table heading towards the back wall, smiling between him and John. "Smoke break?" She asked cheerily, Karkat nodding and walking towards the back doors, weaving between the other patrons of the bar fluidly. John followed after them, Feferi and Dave right behind, stepping through the half-open door and out into the alley together under a small awning.

It was drizzling a bit, and the temperature had dropped, Nepeta shivering lightly and pressing close under Karkat's arm as he pulled a lighter and pre-roll from his pocket. Dave pressed close to Nepeta's other side, gesturing for Feferi to cuddle up with him, the girl giggling softly before allowing the albino to wrap his arm around her shoulder. She looked to John next, offering her hand, and he stepped closer as well, standing next to Karkat and watching his movements with wide eyes.

"That's uh...not what I thought you meant when you said 'smoke'." John said with a little nervous laugh, Karkat catching his eyes as he lit up, the spark from his lighter igniting fireworks in his grey irises. He took a deep drag, holding it for a few moments before tilting his head back and exhaling above their small huddle, the smoke curling up towards the awning in a thick cloud of white. He offered the joint to Nepeta next, who took it with a little grin and inhaled a deep drag as well, Karkat looking to John as he spoke.

"You don't have to stay if you're uncomfortable." He looked to Feferi as well. "Do any of you freshmen smoke?"

"Oh! Umm." Feferi looked up at John then turned her eyes to Karkat, giving him a smile. "John's a junior, actually! To your other question...I haven't ever really had the opportunity to try it before, and Eridan doesn't really like that sort of thing so…" She watched Nepeta exhale and pass the joint to Dave, the boy's pink eyes on her as he took a couple of drags and sent more smoke curling through the damp air, adding to the little cloud already gathered in the awning above them. "I guess since I'm not driving...it would probably be okay to try…?"

"No pressure." Dave said casually, offering her the joint. She hesitated a moment, looking between him, Nepeta, and Karkat. She thought to herself for a few moments longer before giggling and biting her bottom lip, taking it from his fingertips and holding it awkwardly. She looked to Dave, waiting for him to instruct her on what she should do. He gestured with his fingers, showing her how to hold it more comfortably, then explained with a smile, "Don't inhale for very long, and try to hold it in your chest before exhaling. Don't worry if you cough a lot the first couple of times, your lungs will get used to it. Baby steps, lil' sis."

"Baby steps." She repeated softly, bringing the joint to her lips and inhaling lightly. She watched Dave as she followed his instructions, handing the joint back to him just before she started coughing, the albino grinning wide and taking another long drag as he patted her back reassuringly. He passed to Nepeta, who took another hit and offered it to Karkat, the boy taking a second deep drag and looking to John, offering him the joint next.

"No pressure." Karkat said again, mirroring Dave's words to Feferi, watching him with a little lazy smile. John searched his eyes, hesitating, then nodded and took the joint from him, bringing it to his lips and taking a small drag. He blinked at the sensation of the thick smoke constricting his lungs, coughing as well as Karkat chuckled and reached over to rub his back, patting lightly as John winced and felt tears stinging his eyes. "There, you've got it. Just breathe." John coughed again, laughing and offering it back to Karkat, who took it from his fingertips and continued rubbing along his upper back and shoulders comfortingly.

The more experienced stoners quickly finished off the joint between the three of them, John and Feferi buzzed enough off of their second-hand smoke and one hit each without partaking in any more. Feferi was giggly as could be, swatting at Dave as he tugged her closer and shared her body-heat, Nepeta clapping excitedly and snuggling up under the boy's other arm, tugging at his shirt and ushering him back inside. "Another song! Another one! Sing with me, Twinkie! I _know_ you know _Take Me or Leave Me_!"

"Oh I know that song too!" Feferi squealed gleefully, Nepeta gasping and reaching over to her, the girls taking one another's hands and bouncing together happily.

"Sing it with me! Sing it with me, _please_?" She beamed, tugging at her new friend's hands gently, Feferi giggling merrily and nodding enthusiastically at her request. "Oh my gosh I'm _so excited_! Come on, let's go!" She kept holding onto Feferi's hand as she headed back inside, Dave laughing and eagerly following after them, leaving Karkat and John to stand together under the awning, listening to the rain fall. John was laughing softly, watching them go, glancing back over to Karkat when he felt the boy's fingertips brush against his hand. He blinked over at him slowly, a little disoriented from his first high, Karkat lacing their fingers together gently and stepping a bit closer into his space.

He watched him with a little nervous laugh, squeezing back his fingers lightly. "Uh, Karkat? We should probably go with them, your boyfriend-"

Karkat's eyes widened and he laughed heartily, shaking his head, cutting off John's next words. "Dave is _not_ my boyfriend. I haven't dated anyone in years." He glanced away a bit, his voice soft. "Though I can understand why you'd say that. You saw us kissing at the theatre." John nodded slowly, watching him curiously. Karkat took a moment to breathe in the damp air, then looked to John again, his grey eyes hazy and dark. "You've heard about the theatre being rebuilt because of a fire, right?"

John nodded, "Yeah, I mean...we've heard some of the rumours around campus. No one's actually told us the details about it, though…" He looked down at their hands, Karkat tracing his thumb across his skin slowly.

"There was a girl who died in the fire, she got trapped in some of the debris and we couldn't pull her out. We tried, my best friend and I, we tried so hard to get to her." He let out a shaky exhale, continuing softly. "My best friend, Terezi, she's still in the hospital. She got burnt really badly. She's lucky to have survived."

"Oh my gosh, that's so scary…!" John said softly, arching his brow and reaching for Karkat's other hand as well. "I'm _so sorry_. Were you and that girl close?" He pet across his fingers, marveling at how soft and warm the other boy was under his touch, his equilibrium just slightly off center as he swayed on his feet, trying to breathe evenly and focus on Karkat's words.

"Yeah, yeah we were close." Karkat said, leaning a bit closer and meeting John's eyes. "Her name was Aradia. We dated since high school. I thought we were going to be together for the rest of our lives." His smile was a little sad but also full of affection, and he continued by saying, "Nepeta knew her the longest, they had been friends for years before I met them. She was Aradia's girlfriend." He watched John's expression, laughing softly at the surprise across his face as he clarified, "I'm poly. Nepeta is too. We were sort of in a triangle together with Aradia, though Nepeta and I are platonic."

"So you...you and Nepeta dated Aradia at the same time? The three of you?" John asked, his cheeks pink, obviously flustered at the idea. Karkat nodded, laughing softly again, squeezing one of his hands and reaching up with the other to card his fingers through his dark hair, listening to John's confused tone as the other boy continued. "But you were...kissing Dave, so…?"

"Dave and I are just friends. We hookup sometimes." Karkat said, watching John's face carefully. "Are you...is that okay with you?" He wasn't sure how to come right out and ask it without just saying what he meant, hoping John wouldn't take it the wrong way if he had misjudged. "You're bi too, right?"

John blinked and laughed, nodding while saying happily, "Yeah! Yeah, I mean...I'm pan, actually." He bit his lip, watching Karkat, then looked down at their hands again. "I'm cool with guys kissing guys, if that's what you're asking?"

"Are you cool with me kissing Dave?" He tugged John a little closer, his breath brushing against his cheek. "While also wanting to kiss you?"

John's eyes widened, taking a step back reflexively, his breath escaping in a soft rush. "You...you want to kiss me?"

Karkat nodded a little, not taking a step closer to correct the distance John had put between them, searching his eyes. "Yeah, yeah I do. If that's okay?"

He watched those stormcloud irises for several long moments before asking gently, "Did you want to kiss me _before_ you were high?"

A shy smile crossed Karkat's face, and it was probably the most beautiful, tender thing John had ever seen. "Um, yeah, I guess so? I mean, I've been watching you all day and you're just…" He waved his hand in the air a bit, glancing away and biting his lip as he tried to explain. "Your voice is amazing, and when you smile it lights up the room and infects everyone around you. Even me." He let out a soft breath, his thumb still tracing gently against the back of John's hand. "Maybe it's stupid of me to think about, because we don't even know one another, but I think it would be nice kissing you…" He met John's eyes again, loosening his grip slightly as he added, "It's okay to say no."

John blinked slowly, trying to assess the situation, but his head was fuzzy and thinking was _hard_ , and he wasn't really sure if he should be making decisions like this after smoking for the first time. "I...I think you're really cute, Karkat. Your eyes are just...beautiful." He stroked his thumb against the back of the other boy's hand gently in turn, mirroring Karkat's movements, then asked softly, "Is it okay if you ask me again when I'm not so buzzed? It's hard for me to think straight."

Karkat's brow arched and he nodded, laughing softly and reaching up to rub at his nape. "Yeah, of course. I'm sorry if that was weird." He let go of John's hand, and stepped back a little, gesturing towards the door. "You go first, I'm going to stay out here for a bit. I like listening to the rain."

John creased his brow, watching Karkat worriedly. He hoped he hadn't upset him. "Are you sure?" He asked, taking a step closer again. "I really...I don't mind the idea of it, of kissing you. It sounds nice to me too, actually. I just…" He tried to find the right words, hoping Karkat would understand. "I've never done this before, and I want to make sure I'm making the right decision when I can think about it clearly…" He slipped his fingers against Karkat's hand gently, watching him closely. "I'm not trying to reject you, I don't want you to think that. You're _definitely_ my type."

Karkat laughed softly, squeezing his fingers gently. "Yeah? You're my type too." He leaned into John's space, brushing his lips against his cheek and saying softly against his skin, "Rain check?"

John shivered and blushed brightly, nodding as Karkat pulled away, searching his eyes for a moment longer before letting his hand go. He turned towards the door, stepping back inside, his heart fluttering wildly in his chest. He wasn't sure if it was his buzz making him feel this way or if it was simply his true emotions, but right now he was floating on cloud nine, his fingertips reaching up to touch where Karkat's lips had pressed moments before. He hadn't expected the stern-looking, standoffish stagehand to be so incredibly considerate and sweet. He _really_ hoped Karkat still felt like kissing him the next time they hung out together, because if he did John would not hesitate to accept his offer a second time. He'd never kissed a boy before. He was giddy with the idea of it.

Karkat watched him go, exhaling softly and looking out past the awning up into the dark blue-grey sky, listening to the rain beating down against the empty alleyway and reaching into his pocket for a second joint. He hadn't talked about Aradia with someone new since everything had happened, but somehow with John it had come out easily. He was easy to talk to, easy to relax and be himself around. His uncertainty at Karkat's offer had been surprisingly endearing. He was glad, given John's reaction, he hadn't overstepped his bounds or made the other boy uncomfortable in any way. He would give John some time to think about his offer, he wasn't in a rush.

After everything with Gamzee, he wasn't exactly sure what he was looking for with John anyway. He hadn't mentioned his ex-boyfriend yet, but he would if things between them eventually progressed. John would need to know about the other side of his past, about the chain of events that had caused the fire that injured Terezi and killed Aradia. He would cross that bridge if they came to it. He wasn't necessarily looking for anything serious, just casual fun. He was cute, and Karkat wanted to makeout with him. It was as simple as that. He wanted to be sure John was on the same page. He would wait to hear back from him once he was sober.

He lit up and took a deep drag, staring out at the rain, enjoying the white noise resting heavy over the city. He took a few deep drags, letting his mind wander, and then he heard the door open behind him, turning back to see Vriska stepping over to greet him. "Hey Karkat! I figured I'd find you out here."

"Hey Vriska, how've you been?" He gave her a small smile and took another hit, holding it for a long moment and offering it to her casually. She hummed and took it from him, and he watched her take a long drag as he exhaled out into the rain, the thick smoke dissipating almost immediately against the steady downpour. She took another hit before offering it back, Karkat finishing the joint and flicking the butt out into the alley, turning to face her with his hands in the kangaroo pocket of his hoodie as she started to speak.

"I'm good, it's nice to see you out with everyone. You and Dave been doing alright?" She watched him with a friendly little smile, her baby-blue eyes searching his grey, and Karkat nodded, shrugging a bit. He couldn't say much she didn't already know. Their entire social group knew what he and Dave had been up to the past few years with Kurloz. They didn't really talk about it openly, keeping to themselves for the most part, but it was known. Gossip always spread across campus like a virus, and Kurloz was the most prominent dealer within their area of downtown. "Listen, I just...I wanted to talk to you about Nepeta."

Karkat narrowed his eyes a bit, waiting for her to continue. "Okay? What about her?"

Vriska sighed softly, gesturing lightly with her hand as she spoke. "I'm sure you heard about our little coffee shop gathering. Meulin's set some ground rules for Nepeta, as a condition of giving her a second chance. I wanted you to be aware of them, in case Nepeta didn't bring them up herself."

He nodded, exhaling softly through his nose. He could already see where this was going. "Yeah, she hasn't really mentioned any...rules. What did she agree to?"

"No drugs." Vriska said, watching Karkat's face closely. "Other than weed, obviously." She glanced away for a moment, then returned her eyes to Karkat. "I know you stay with Dave and Kurloz a lot. Nepeta is not to go over there, or associate with Kurloz in any way. That being said, I know you and Dave typically have...party supplies available." She crossed her arms over her chest, tapping her nails lightly against her arm. "Do me a favor, okay? Don't offer her any. She promised she wouldn't use now that she's back, and I don't want her giving into any extra temptation. From either of you." Karkat watched her, feeling his chest start to draw tight. "I trust Nepeta enough to say I know she's not a liar, and I believe she is honestly wanting to rebuild what she broke with Meulin, but…" She paused for effect, staring Karkat down. "If any of us; myself, Aranea, or Meulin, find out she's been using, we are cutting her off. Permanently. No do-overs."

"Jesus." Karkat said softly. "You know that's pretty fucked up, right?" He brought one of his hands from his pocket, scratching at his cheek absently. "How can you expect a former addict to just quit everything cold turkey like that? There's a whole process to it. It takes months of rehab, therapy, group meetings…" He cut his eyes towards her. "Not to mention dealing with possible withdrawal." Karkat frowned deeply, lifting his hand higher to rub at his temple. "So what, she gets high with us one time and you guys kick her to the curb for the rest of her life? What kind of love is that? That's bullshit."

Vriska was frowning as well, her eyes narrowed as she said softly, "If you think it's going to be a problem, she probably should not be staying with you."

He took a step towards her, staring her down. "I didn't say it would be a _problem_. I said the whole concept is _bullshit._ "

"She agreed to it. It's what Meulin wants." She leaned a bit closer into Karkat's space, her tone irritated, clenching her jaw to try to hold back her growing rage, her voice rising. "If you and Gamzee hadn't had her coked out of her mind that night she wouldn't have said the things she did to Meulin and fucking disappeared for three years, Karkat. This is _your fault_."

"She was _grieving_! We all were!" He clicked his tongue and stepped away from her, shaking his head and trying to hold in his anger as he headed back inside, already reaching for the door. "You have no idea what happened that night, you have _no idea_ what we were going through."

He turned back to look at her, his eyes shining with unshed tears, clenching his fists so hard his knuckles turned white. She was talking about shit she didn't understand. Shit she had never experienced for herself and couldn't possibly comprehend. It was infuriating. He stared her down, his whole body shaking, trying to keep himself composed but he _couldn't_ , not with her glaring at him like that, not after saying it was _his fault_ Nepeta left. He slammed his fist against the closest wall, just beside the door, the whole frame rattling loudly as he rounded on her.

"Aradia _died_ that night, and Terezi was _blinded_ , her body _mutilated_! Oh, but you're worried about Nepeta doing a little coke with me and Dave now that she's finally home?" His laughter was incredulous, he was completely delirious with the absurdity of it all. "Do you even _want_ to know, Vriska? Have you ever even imagined what it was like? Watching the EMTs take Terezi away on a stretcher while unable to do _anything_ to help, listening to her screaming in agony, half of her skin _melted off_?" He pounded his fist against the wall again, practically seething. "The firefighters digging through charred debris and removing Aradia from the theatre in a _fucking bodybag_?" He could feel himself escalating, his shoulders hunched, his whole body taut like a wire ready to snap. "Oh! After they took away the girls, they came back with a whole fucking police team and hauled Gamzee away to the psych ward _right in front of us_!" He punched the wall again, harder than before, feeling his skin split across his knuckles against the rough, cold brick. "That night _broke us_ you selfish fucking _bitch,_ don't you _dare_ judge us for how we survived that _horrible_ -"

"Hey." A soft, deep voice said, and Karkat looked up to see Tavros had opened the door, at least hearing the last part of what Karkat had shouted. He frowned a little, looking between Karkat and Vriska, then focused on the boy before him and said softly, "You guys keep your voices down, okay? People can hear you. If you start a fight they're going to call the cops, and I don't want to explain to them why we've got a bunch of high underage kids with us."

Karkat huffed, shoving past him and disappearing inside, Tavros turning his eyes towards Vriska. She was shaking, her brow arched and her eyes wet, the first wave of frustrated tears spilling down her cheeks now that Karkat was gone. Tavros sighed and stepped over to her, wrapping his arms around her as she pressed against his chest and cried quietly, continuing to rub her back gently as she sobbed. "I was just trying...to warn him…" She shook her head, pulling back enough that she could meet her boyfriend's eyes. "I know he's still in pain, they both are. I know it was a mistake. I shouldn't have said it was his fault…" She growled in frustration, pressing her face back against Tavros' chest, her words muffled as she cried. "If he _ruins_ this for her I will fucking _end him_ …!"

"I know, I know…" He pet across her shoulders soothingly, holding her while she cried. He combed his fingers through her hair, letting her get it out of her system, waiting patiently for the shudders wracking her shoulders to gradually still. Eventually she looked up at him again and he gave her a small smile, petting her cheeks and wiping away her tears slowly. She sniffed and reached up to carefully dab at her cheeks when he moved his hands to her waist, mindful of her makeup as she blinked a few times and let out a slow, shuddering exhale. Tavros leaned closer, frowning a little, Vriska blinking and watching him with confusion etched across her face. He hummed softly, then said in a low, serious tone, "This eyeliner is amazing, really. When you said it was waterproof I didn't know it was _that_ waterproof…"

"Shut up." She laughed softly, swatting at him and sniffing again. Tavros grinned down at her cheesily, kissing her forehead, Vriska smiling softly at his teasing and gentle affections, a little blush across her cheeks.

"Just wanted to cheer you up." He whispered softly before he dipped down and gave her a soft kiss, Vriska nuzzling her nose to his for a moment before pulling away. Tavros watched her with a tender expression, petting her rosy cheeks with his fingertips. He felt so privileged that she allowed him to see her with her guard down like this, at her most vulnerable. He was happy that she seemed calm again now that Karkat had left. He understood his anger, but Tavros couldn't deny that regardless of what Karkat had been through, he cared more about Vriska's feelings than anyone else's. She was worried about Nepeta, rightfully so given the circumstances. Karkat had, instead of reassuring her, escalated things, defensive as always. Tavros missed the days when they had all been close, when they would have gladly done anything for one another's happiness. There was a time years ago when Karkat and Vriska had been very good friends. Everything changed after the fire. Tavros doubted they would ever be close again.

Vriska was straightening out her blouse and adjusting her earrings, small little repetitive movements that centered her mental state and drew her back to the present moment. He watched her as she swept her hair back from her forehead and away from her cheeks, completely revealing her ornately pierced ears and the cropped section around her left ear. Her pale blue nails were almost the same color as her eyes, her fingers combing through her long silvery locks slowly, the long tresses settling around her shoulders in flowing, shimmering waves. The color reminded him of moonlit waterfalls, silvery and slate where shadows darkened her holographic highlights. She was so beautiful, even doing the simplest of things. Tavros really wanted to kiss her. When she looked settled, more collected, he dipped down again and gave her another kiss, Vriska humming and wrapping her arms around his neck, keeping him close.

They stood there together beneath the awning, listening to the rain, then eventually Vriska pulled back with a contented little sigh, Tavros grinning down at her and saying softly, "C'mon, let's go back inside. I think with a little more convincing Nepeta might actually convince Equius to sing something." He took her hand and walked to the door, Vriska following after him, squeezing his fingers lightly. He was just what she needed, every time. He always grounded her back to earth.

-x-x-x-

Karkat smiled down at his phone, waiting for John's reply, watching those three little dots move for a while before the next paragraph came through. They'd been talking all night since heading home from karaoke. Karkat was grateful for the distraction. He didn't want to think about what had happened earlier with Vriska. Nepeta was at his side, humming along to the music in her cat-ear headphones and texting as well. She laughed at something she read, tugging off her headphones so they rested around her neck, offering her phone over to Karkat.

"Look at that! That's definitely him trying to flirt with me, right?"

Karkat surveyed the message from Equius, grinning a little and nodding with a light shrug. "I mean, I would say so yes." His eyes looked back down to John's messages, Nepeta leaning a bit closer and peering down at his phone as he started typing again.

"Ooo, have your eyes on one of the freshmen huh? I thought you told Dave they were off limits?" Her tone was teasing as she rested her cheek against her palm, quirking a brow and leering.

"Apparently he's a junior." Karkat said, returning her gaze with an amused smile. "C'mon, let me flirt a little. It's rare I get any attention from anyone other than Dave. This is new."

"It feels good, right?" Nepeta said, tugging her headphones from her neck before rolling onto her back, sighing heavily while draping an arm across her face. "It's always weird for me, trying to flirt after everything that's happened. I always end up thinking about Aradia instead." She peeked around her arm, looking up at Karkat. "I know you think about Aradia, probably just as much as I do…" She paused for a moment, her voice little more than a whisper as she asked, "Do you think about Gamzee sometimes too?"

He stopped texting, thinking for a moment on how to reply before he began typing again, his voice slightly guarded but still affectionate. "I remember what it was like in the beginning, when he was gentle. I miss that part the most."

Nepeta hummed softly, nodding and rolling over so her back was to Karkat. She tugged one of his pillows closer to her chest while wrapping her arms around it, pressing her nose to the dark pillowcase and inhaling his lingering scent. "I miss that too, how gentle it was when she held me. She was always so warm."

He glanced down at her, watching her quietly. He sent one more text before setting his phone on the end-table beside the bed and shifted to lay down beside her, huffing softly against her shoulder as he spooned her. She giggled softly as he wrapped his arms around her and she pressed back against him, one of her hands reaching down and petting across his until he offered her his fingers. They lay together for a while, Karkat breathing in her scent, enjoying her warmth, before Nepeta spoke again.

"Why didn't we ever try something between us?" Her nails traced against the lines of his palm, her voice quiet. "I'm not really your type, am I? Aradia was curvy, long dark hair, beautiful coppery skin, _amazing_ breasts…"

Karkat let out a soft, amused chuckle. "Nepeta, you can't compare yourself to her. You're both beautiful…"

"I know that. I mean…" She glanced over her shoulder at him for a moment before looking away again. "I sell myself for a living, and I'm always tipped well. I know I'm attractive. I'm just not _your_ type, right?"

Karkat breathed softly against her shoulder, then asked gently, "You realize Aradia was my first girlfriend, right? I'd never been with anyone else besides Gamzee before her. She was the first girl that I ever felt a connection with, and being demi I needed that foundation to even consider us becoming anything more than friends." He took her hand gently. "It's not that you're not my type, or I'm not attracted to you. I was in love with Aradia. Polyamory was new to me. I never considered us as anything more than friends, at the time it just wasn't a viable option for me mentally and emotionally. I had a lot going on with Gamzee. Then after Aradia...you left, and you've been gone all this time…" He exhaled against her shoulder, saying softly, "Are you saying you're attracted to me?"

"Of course I am." Nepeta said, voice just as quiet. "You're kind, and sweet, and you remind me of her. I trust you, you understand me." She rolled over a bit, looking up at him again. "I know I've been gone, and things have changed between us, but I still probably trust you more than anyone else I know."

Karkat hummed softly, leaning over her a bit and searching her olive-green eyes. "Are you sure your feelings towards me aren't skewed by your current circumstances? I don't want you to feel like you have to _give_ something or _do_ something just because I'm letting you stay with me. I would never expect that from you, ever."

"Dummy." Nepeta's voice was soft, giving him a little smile, her brow arched with concern. "You don't honestly believe that, do you? I'd never. Not in a million years."

He squeezed her fingers lightly. "I just...I don't want you to feel obligated to treat me differently now. We can be how we were before. Nothing has to change." He dipped down and kissed her shoulder, watching her with soft eyes. "I like being with you like this, I value our friendship. You mean a lot to me."

"You mean a lot to me too." She said back softly, rolling over to face him completely, pressing her palms against his chest. "I'd really…" She closed her eyes, pressing her nails into his hoodie before starting again, "I'd really like it if you kissed me. I want to see what it feels like with you." She opened her eyes, looking up at him with a little blush highlighting her features, Karkat watching her quietly before giving a little nod.

"Alright." He paused for a long moment, rubbing down her back slowly, then leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. His movements were slow and gentle, Nepeta pressing back against him and tilting her head ever so slightly so they were able to kiss a bit deeper. She hummed into his mouth, clutching her hands in his hoodie to keep him from pulling back too soon, breathing against him softly. He pulled back just a little then kissed her again, giving her what she wanted, Nepeta humming again and tugging him closer while he shifted to lean over her, pressing her back against the crumpled sheets. They kept their pace slow, Karkat tracing his tongue against her lips until she opened her mouth with a low moan and a shudder, coaxing her into a deeper kiss. Karkat smiled softly as he pulled back and met her eyes, then made a soft sound of want as he kissed her again, his tongue moving slowly against hers. She made a soft, whining sound in reply, shivering pleasantly at the sounds he was making, one of her hands shifting up from his chest to card through his hair. They were both panting softly as he pulled away and looked down at her, her face completely flushed. "Was that okay?" He asked, searching her eyes, Nepeta nodding and laughing breathlessly.

"Yeah! Yeah that was…" She cleared her throat a bit, dropping her hands lightly atop the dark sheets beside her cheeks while looking up at him in mild disbelief. "You're a really good kisser, Karkat."

He chuckled and gave her a little space, resting on his side looking down at her, Nepeta rolling onto her side as well and pressing close to his chest, hiding her face in the collar of his hoodie. He rubbed his hand up and down her back slowly, feeling the little trembles passing through her as she clung to him, nosing into her short, dark hair and kissing softly against her temple. "You're sure you're okay? _We're_ okay?"

She nodded against his chest, making a soft sound of affirmation, pulling her face from his hoodie after a few moments and searching his eyes shyly. "Can we do that again?"

Karkat nodded, dipping down and pressing their lips together with a grin, Nepeta sighing softly and arching against him. Her fingers were already curling in his hoodie and pulling him down on top of her again, wrapping one of her legs around his waist and arching up against his touch, making soft sounds between their kisses.

Eventually they parted, both breathing unevenly and searching one another's eyes, Nepeta blushing and biting her bottom lip, rolling her hips up to greet Karkat's. He inhaled softly, his face flushing pink as well as he looked down at her, grinning while grinding his hips down against hers and saying softly, "You better stop teasing like that, Kitten. Don't make me put you in your place."

Nepeta shivered and whined softly, rolling her hips up again. "Ooo I like that. That's _kinky_." She giggled softly, rubbing her hands up and down his chest while tugging at his hoodie. "Take this off?"

Karkat pulled back, tugging the fabric up and over his head and tossing it off the bed, looking down at her and watching as she pulled up her jumper and let it fall to the floor. She reached up for him, and he dipped down to kiss her again, Nepeta wrapping both of her legs around his waist as he lay against her and began rolling their hips together slowly, letting her feel just how hard he was. She whined a bit louder than before, arching against him with her fingers tangled in his dark hair and panting against his mouth, her eyes on his as she purposefully pressed herself against his arousal. He pulled back with a soft groan, pressing kisses down her neck and reaching up to cup one of her breasts, kneading gently over her lacy bralette, feeling her nipple harden under his touch.

"Mmh, please…" She said softly, watching him and biting her lip. "Will you suckle me?"

Karkat moaned softly, feeling his face heat up dramatically at that shy request. Aradia used to ask him to suck her breasts constantly, it was one of her biggest turn-ons. Surely Nepeta had to know so too. They had both been intimate with her for years, though the three of them had never been intimate like this _together_. Aradia had dated them separately, and they had both been happy with that, content with their friendship. Karkat watched the girl beneath him for a long moment before saying softly, "Yeah, yeah if you want that…" He wanted to make her feel good, wanted to give her what she wanted.

He licked his lips, tugging her bralette up and watching her breasts bounce free, cupping one with his hand and kneading slowly while he breathed lightly against the other, wrapping his lips around her nipple and sucking gently. She pressed up against him with a soft whine, squirming and tugging at his hair, rocking her hips slowly, moaning his name as he flicked his tongue against the pert bud. He laved against her soft skin gently, circling her areola with his tongue and licking against her nipple slowly before sucking again, Nepeta's cries becoming a bit more desperate as she kept arching up against him needily.

"Yes, yes, feels good…" She pressed a hand against her mouth and whined into her palm, panting and tugging his hair as he did as she asked. Eventually he let up, releasing her nipple with a soft wet pop and looking up at her while licking his lips, shifting to her other breast. She was a trembling mess as he latched onto the other nipple, sucking earnestly and flicking his tongue against the bud between soft teasing bites, Nepeta's grip almost painful as she rocked up against his cock again. "Fuck, I'm so wet Karkat…"

He moaned softly against her breast, grinding down against her and breathing hotly against her skin, releasing her breast a moment later and looking down at her with a satisfied grin. "Yeah? You're wet for me?"

She nodded eagerly, searching his eyes and reaching up to press a hand against his chest, petting across his shirt. "Do you want to? Can we?"

Karkat shivered at her tone, leaning a bit closer and taking her hand again, "Are you sure you want to? We don't have to-"

"I do. I want to." She gave him a smile, her expression hesitant and unsure. "Do _you_ want to?"

He thought for a moment, contemplating what they were doing, what it might mean. "Are we going to be friends with benefits if we do this?" He asked carefully, thinking about what it would be like to have her in the same capacity as he had Dave. It would be fun, yes, but not exactly what he needed. It had been so long since he'd had a romantic connection, he was craving more than just sex. He wanted commitment.

Nepeta watched him, thinking to herself, then said softly, "If that's what you want, then yes."

Karkat frowned a little at her tone, needing something more definitive. He wanted more than just sex with her. He cherished her. He yearned for her. He was quickly realizing he _needed_ her. "What if I want more than that?"

Her eyes widened a bit, a shy smile crossing her face. "More than that? Like...dating?"

"Yeah." Karkat said softly, feeling his cheeks heat up again. She kept staring up at him and grinning, searching his eyes, Karkat smiling down at her and sharing in her excitement. "Do you want us to date? Is that something you'd want with me?"

"Yeah, yeah I'd like that. I'd like that so much, Karkat." She covered her mouth with her hands, then tugged him down to her again, kissing him gently when he pressed their mouths together once more. They kissed slowly, holding hands, and when Karkat pulled back to catch his breath Nepeta asked softly, "Do you want to be my primary?"

Karkat felt his chest twist, nodding and letting out a shuddering breath. "Yeah, I want that…"

"Oh Karkat, sweetheart..." she whispered softly, kissing his lips sweetly, petting his hair and watching the tears gathering in his eyes, "Is it okay if I say I love you?"

He nodded again, dipping down to kiss her, Nepeta wrapping her arms around his neck and hanging on tightly, carding her fingers through his hair and keeping him close. He breathed her in, kissing slow and gentle, and when she tugged his hair a bit and moaned against his mouth Karkat rocked his hips down against her again, shivering at her warmth. He pulled back, searching her eyes as they panted against one another shakily, tears gathered in Nepeta's eyes as well. "I love you." He whispered softly, and it was heart-wrenching saying it for the first time in so long in a romantic setting. He said it now and then with his friends, especially Terezi, but this was the first time he had said it aloud to a partner since Aradia and Gamzee. It had his breath catching hard in his throat.

"Shh, don't cry sweetie. You're okay…" She pulled him down again, and they kissed and moved against one another in tandem, Karkat letting himself forget everything but the taste of her tongue, her comforting scent, the way her body arched under his and the soft whines that escaped her throat. He tugged at the waistband of her shorts and she lifted her hips for him, Karkat tugging down her panties and shorts together and tossing them aside. He kept watching her as she untied her bralette and tugged it free, tossing it off the bed to join the rest of their discarded clothes, Karkat quickly ridding himself of his shirt and boxer briefs so they were bared to one another equally.

He looked down at her, smoothing his hands up her legs and parting her thighs, taking in the sight of her beneath him. She was panting softly and looking up at him with lidded eyes, her soft almond skin flushed a pretty shade of pink, her lips parted and her olive eyes hazy with lust. He shivered at her gaze, reaching down and wrapping his fingers around his cock, giving himself a few slow strokes as he watched her. "Touch yourself for me?" He asked huskily, his other hand rubbing along her inner thigh, Nepeta giggling softly and trailing one hand down her stomach while the other began teasing a breast, moaning as she writhed beneath his eyes.

"What do you like being called during sex?" She asked softly, her fingers sliding between her wet lips and finding her swollen clit, rubbing circles around it slowly while she tweaked a nipple. "Tell me what turns you on."

Karkat watched her rub herself, stroking his cock a little faster, shivering as he parted her thighs a bit more and watched her dancing fingers intently. "You can call me whatever you like, it all sounds good to me…" He shifted his fingers to tease along his glans, finding the precum beaded at the tip and slicking it across the head and down his shaft, grunting softly and bucking his hips against his hand. "What do you want me to call you? Kitten?"

"I do like that, yes." She practically purred, fingering herself a bit faster as she watched him play with his cock. She rocked her hips off the bed, moving her hand to her other breast as she flicked her fingers against her clit in a steady rhythm, her hips giving little subtle jerks against her hand. "Aradia said...you two…" She moaned softly as she shifted to slip her fingers inside her pussy, pressing two digits into her clenching heat. "Mmh she said you were...trying to make...a baby…"

Karkat inhaled sharply, a shudder wracking through him so intense he almost lost his balance over her. He leaned down and pressed a hand against the mattress, still stroking his cock and he moved to kiss her, moaning softly against her mouth. "Yeah?" He said breathlessly as he met her eyes, pushing himself back up onto his knees again. "Yeah, she wanted a baby. We started trying as soon as she turned eighteen. She said…" He slowed his pace a bit, giving himself a few long, languid tugs. "She wanted to have a bunch of kids, while she was still young. So she could run around and play with them, and not struggle to keep up." He breathed out a soft chuckle at the memory of her, of how eagerly she had talked about having children together. It made him feel warm.

Nepeta laughed fondly, "She would have been an amazing mother…" She hummed softly, pulling her fingers from inside herself and gliding them up her body slowly, smearing her own wetness against her skin. She continued up, pressing her fingers to her mouth and sucking them clean slowly, her eyes on Karkat while she kneaded against her breast. She released her fingers with a little wet sound, then asked softly, "Would you like it if I called you Daddy?" The moan that left Karkat spoke volumes in itself. Nepeta giggled eagerly and reached down with both hands to touch his cock for the first time, pulling his hand away and replacing it with her own, stroking him lightly. "Yeah? You want me to call you Daddy?"

"Yes, _fuck_ Nepeta…" He bit his lip, watching her and bucking his hips gently into her hand, his palms gliding against her inner thighs, fingertips rubbing reverently against her soft skin.

She hummed, watching him with a little smirk, arching up against his touch and begging sweetly, "I want your cock inside me, Daddy."

" _Fuck, fuck…_ " His nails bit into her skin a bit as he lifted her hips, and she guided him where she wanted him the most, pulling her fingers away and gasping softly as he pressed between her lips and began pushing inside. She whined and rocked her hips, tugging at his shoulders until he leaned over her for a slow, sensual kiss, moaning together as he started to move. She wrapped her legs around him completely, not quite able to lock her ankles but resting them at the rise of his ass, moaning and clinging to his shoulders as he built a slow, steady rhythm. Karkat kept kissing her sweetly and searching her eyes, Nepeta giggling softly and carding her fingers through his hair.

"Love you, Daddy…" She whispered, and Karkat groaned and gave her another tender, heated kiss.

"Love you too, Kitten…" He murmured before tucking his face against her neck, kissing against her fluttering pulse and quickening his pace. Nepeta cried out softly, digging her nails in a bit more as she clenched around him tightly in rolling waves, her voice rising as he fucked into her with increasing vigor.

She called out to him over and over as her voice ascended, gasping and arching against him, her eyes wide and she clung to him desperately. "Oh god yes! Oh god I'm cumming!" She tugged at his hair hard, arching her back and clenching down around him tightly, and Karkat felt a distinct wetness gushing against him in little spurts, panting softly and blinking down at her blissed out expression.

"Holy shit Nepeta _did you just squirt_?" He asked in amused disbelief, "Is that normal or...?"

She laughed between harsh, shivering breaths, nodding and clinging to him still. "When it's...really good...then yeah…" She whined and rocked her hips against him, nodding again and curling her toes against his back. "You can...keep going…"

"Are you sure? You're super tight right now…" He asked with mild concern, not wanting to accidentally hurt her while her body was still tense from climaxing.

She nodded, petting at his abused scalp, letting out a soft, low purr. "Yes, I'm sure. I can cum multiple times in one sesh." She smirked up at him, still panting softly. "Fuck me Daddy, I want you to cum."

" _Fuck_." Karkat whispered, leaning down and kissing her again, rocking against her slowly and feeling the way her body started to relax around him as he continued, Nepeta squirming and whining eagerly as he worked her back up.

"Daddy! _Daddy_ …" She cried out, biting her lip and muffling her moans as she arched up and met each thrust. "Fuck yes _please_! You feel so good inside me!"

He groaned softly and moved his mouth against her throat again, panting softly against her shoulder and kissing at her sweaty skin, Nepeta's nails scratching down his back sharply on either side of his spine. It sent a wave of heat through him and he bucked into her quickly, panting and moaning against her skin, kissing down her chest and finding one of her breasts. He latched onto it instantly, sucking roughly while he lifted her thighs from around his waist, bending her knees towards her chest and hooking her legs over his shoulders so he could penetrate her at a deeper angle. He pulled away from her breast a few moments later, noting the dark red mark he'd left behind, shivering and licking his lips as he met her eyes, Nepeta crying out with each thrust and watching him hazily.

"So good…" She gasped, her body starting to tense around his again, Karkat grunting and holding onto her waist with one hand, the other pressed to the mattress at her shoulder, keeping his balance as he fucked into her roughly. "Karkat, Karkat…" Her voice was pitched higher than usual, her eyes glassy as she reached up and clung to the arm beside her, holding onto him while her other hand kneaded her bruised breast. "Want you to...cum inside…"

He groaned softly, brow arching, trying to find the words to express his concern. "Condom…?"

"It's okay, I have an IUD…" She panted, reaching up and touching his face, her fingertips brushing his sweaty bangs away from his forehead. "Cum inside me, Daddy." She cupped his face, stroking her thumb against his lips and moaning as she locked her eyes with his. "I'm yours. _Make me yours_."

That was all Karkat could take. He felt himself let go, jerking his hips sporadically as he spilled into her, Nepeta gasping in delight as she shifted her hand down to finger her clit quickly, Karkat still thrusting into her deeply as she brought herself to the edge with him. She tensed around him with an excited squeal, squirting against her fingers in pulsing waves, mirroring the hot bursts he released inside her, moaning together as they rode out their orgasms simultaneously. Karkat held his position for a moment longer before shifting to gently lower her legs to the mattress. He made sure she was in a comfortable position before collapsing lightly on top of her, keeping most of his weight off of her while kissing at her parted lips gently, still buried inside her. She hummed and kissed him back, slow and deep, clenching around Karkat's gradually softening cock as they lay together and caught their breath.

Nepeta couldn't stop grinning, giggling softly as Karkat finally moved to pull out and lay beside her with a reluctant grunt, resting on his back and looking up at the ceiling hazily while Nepeta rolled over to press against his sweaty side. "That was...really hot…" She said softly, petting against his chest and looking up at him, Karkat nodding slowly and wrapping an arm around her while his other reached for his phone. He checked his messages, grinning at something before clicking the display off and setting it aside again, content to lay there beside her a while and share their afterglow. She shifted up slightly, Karkat looking down at her and dipping to give her a kiss, Nepeta making soft noises against his mouth as he tasted her. When they parted she gave him a lazy, satisfied smirk, saying, "Was that John putting a smile across your face again?"

Karkat let out a soft laugh and nodded, rolling over a bit so he could wrap his arms around her, ignoring the sticky mess clinging to their skin and the wet spots on the sheets. They'd shower in a minute, but for now this was all he wanted. "Yeah, he's actually pretty sweet. I'm glad I finally talked to him, I wasn't expecting to get along with him so well this quickly." She hummed and leaned in to kiss his chest slowly, Karkat sighing and relaxing against her, rubbing up and down her back affectionately. "You're okay with me talking to him, right?"

Nepeta looked up at him, quirking a brow. "Sweetie. We're poly. You're okay with me talking to Equius, right?" Karkat looked down at her, nodding. "You know what I do for a living…" She glanced away slightly while adding, "You also know that Dave and I do shows together, and will probably _continue_ doing shows together." She trailed her nails across his chest slowly, looking back up to meet his eyes. "You're alright with all that too, right? Cuz I'm sort of a package deal."

"As long as you're safe." Karkat whispered softly, leaning in and kissing her forehead, nosing into her damp hair and sighing against her dark tresses. "If we aren't using condoms, then…"

"I always use condoms. Always." She looked up and met his eyes, searching those grey stormclouds slowly. "A couple of things, just so we're clear. I certainly don't tell just anyone I love them, that's a pretty big deal for me." Karkat searched her eyes slowly, nodding and listening as she continued. "Also, I absolutely do _not_ have unprotected sex with just anyone, regardless of my IUD. I think the only person I trust enough to do this with besides you is Dave. This…" She paused, blushing and watching him closely, wanting to be certain he understood. "This was special, okay? You're special." She pet his cheek, adding softly. "As my primary, you have priority over anyone else I may choose to have as a secondary partner. I will always, _always_ discuss everything with you; whatever you're comfortable with knowing, however involved you may want to be. I also want you to be _completely_ open and honest with me about everything between us. Always." She reached up to pet his cheek, watching his eyes closely. "If something happens, if something comes up with one of your other partners, or something changes between us...promise me you'll always tell me right away. No matter what."

Karkat nodded solemnly, his expression soft. "I promise." He leaned closer, giving her a light kiss, pressing their foreheads together as he whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too, sweetheart." She whispered in turn, kissing his lips and nuzzling him for a moment before pulling away, sighing loudly at the gross feeling of her tacky skin and wet sheets bunched beneath her. "Also, I'm sorry I didn't warn you about the whole squirting thing. It doesn't happen with everyone and I also wasn't expecting things to escalate the way they did? So…?" She grinned cheesily, Karkat laughing and getting out of bed to strip off the sheets, carrying them down the hall to the laundry closet. He returned a moment later with towels, finding Nepeta already in the bathroom turning on the shower, getting the temperature just right before stepping inside under the torrent.

Karkat sat the towels atop the sink before sliding in beside her, closing the opaque shower door and tugging her close under the water, giving her little kisses while she giggled and swatted at him, reaching for the soap and lathering it between her hands. She did this for several moments before rubbing the soap and her palms up and down his chest, marveling as his lean musculature. She slid her hands over his pecs and down his abs, wandering over his obliques and biceps in turn and biting her lip, blushing faintly. He watched her with a soft expression, lifting her chin up with his fingertips and kissing her slowly, Nepeta pressing close and rubbing her breasts against his chest, her nipples already hard. Karkat pulled back after a few lingering kisses, searching her eyes and asking huskily, "Do you want me inside you again, Kitten?"

Nepeta nodded eagerly, quickly setting the soap back on the lip of the shower wall and wrapping her arms around his neck, Karkat kissing her hotly as she moaned against his mouth, already shifting to press her back against the shower wall. He lifted one of her legs and slid inside her easily, Nepeta gasping and curling her toes as he began bucking into her slowly, letting her voice rise and ring off of the shower walls. As they continued kissing he found a quick, rough pace, Nepeta begging him sweetly for more as she arched against his soapy chest, her nails biting into his skin as she felt herself already rising to her peak. This was exactly what she needed, exactly what she had wanted to find all these years. The perfect piece to fill the void in her heart that Aradia's death had left behind. She had never expected to find love again with the boy who had held Aradia's heart, but they complimented and completed one another in ways no one else could ever begin to fulfill. She had never been more happy to let someone into her heart, to give herself to them completely with absolute trust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics: RENT - Out Tonight
> 
> Thanks for reading! More to come!


	6. Cacoethes

Kankri frowned at the front door, gripping the shoulder strap of his bag tightly. He stared at the door for a bit longer, debating on what he should do or say, before exhaling sharply and lifting a hand to rap his knuckles loudly against the door. He didn't hear anything in response, glancing back towards the driveway again. His motorcycle was here, so Cronus had to be home. Why wasn't he answering? It had been three days since he'd heard from the senior, three days of missed practices, of unanswered phone calls and texts. He was not the type of person to show up to someone else's home uninvited, but at this point he didn't know what else to do. He had been irritated at first, then downright angry at what he saw as blatant flippancy, but now Kankri was genuinely worried. Something had to be wrong. Something serious. Cronus never ignored him like this. Cronus _adored_ him.

Kankri knocked against the front door again, louder this time. He wasn't leaving until Cronus answered. He waited a few minutes longer, then growled in frustration, pounding against the door while shouting loudly, "Cronus I swear to god, if you're _dead_ in there I'm going to _kill_ you!"

He heard movement at that. There were muffled footsteps, slowly drawing closer, and Kankri could see his tall shadow beyond the textured glass of the curtained window to the side of the door. "Kankri?" Cronus' voice was muffled through the opaque pane. "What are you doing here?"

Kankri huffed and hoisted his bag a bit higher against his shoulder, mumbling irritably, "Well you certainly don't _sound_ dead." He reached up and rubbed at his temple, trying to keep his voice level as he replied, "I was _worried_ about you, Cronus. You _never_ disappear like this. It's been three whole days! If you're quitting the troupe for some reason you should at least have the decency to come in and talk to me about it, or say something to Rufioh and Horuss!" He frowned and stared at his shadow, adding pointedly, "You've been with us since you were a freshman, what has gotten into you all of a sudden?"

Cronus didn't reply for several long moments, Kankri tapping his fingers against his bag's shoulder strap as he waited for some sort of justification for his actions. Finally Cronus sighed, saying softly, "Look, I'm not quitting the troupe okay? It's not like that. I just...I have a lot going on right now, and I don't exactly know when I'll be in again."

Kankri clenched his teeth, saying slowly. "We have a performance coming up. Next. Week. I _specifically_ chose a song for _you_ to sing that _you_ requested, and now you're telling me you might not _show up_?"

"Kankri." Cronus said, his voice soft, defeated. It startled Kankri with how disheartened it was, and it tweaked something in his chest almost painfully. That wasn't the Cronus he knew. That was...something else entirely. Someone else. That same sense of unease washed over him again, that worry he hadn't been able to shake over the past few days. Something was going on, something Cronus wasn't saying. Kankri didn't understand.

"Are you alright?" He asked carefully, taking a step closer to the window, various scenarios running through his mind. "Are you sick? Is it your family? What's going on?"

Cronus was quiet again, then sighed heavily, asking gently, "You're not going to let this go, are you?" Kankri watched him, not moving from his spot beside the window and not replying, letting his silence speak for itself. Cronus shifted a bit, his shadow moving out of sight towards the door, and Kankri turned as he heard the deadbolt unlock, the door opening just enough that he could hear Cronus' voice clearly past the worn wood. "I know you're worried about me Kankri, but I really don't want anyone seeing me like this." He dropped his voice a bit, his words shaky. "Especially not you."

Kankri frowned, taking a step towards the door, peering into the dark slit at the edge of the doorframe, unable to make out anything inside. "You're scaring me, Cronus." Kankri said softly, reaching out and pressing his fingertips to the door. "Talk to me? Please?"

They hovered like that on either side of the door, a small eternity passing between them before Cronus sighed and relented, opening the door to let Kankri inside. Kankri couldn't see much, the foyer dark and the dim light from the living room beyond just barely casting enough illumination to see the edges of furniture in the darkness. He stepped inside and glanced back at Cronus, watching him carefully. The younger boy was closing the door behind him quietly, turning towards him a bit and nodding towards the living room, limping as he started walking slowly towards the dim light. "I'm a little woozy, so I'm gonna need to sit down if you're gonna stay and chat." Kankri nodded and walked ahead of him a bit, casting his eyes across the living room and off towards the kitchen, wrinkling his nose at the faint scent of cigarette smoke. There was coffee on the table, and a few dirty dishes, but the townhouse was otherwise relatively tidy. Kankri turned to look back at Cronus, the younger boy wincing and sitting down gingerly on the wide couch, holding his side as he exhaled shakily and glanced up towards Kankri. He smiled a bit, offering him a seat on the couch or the armchair beside it. "Make yourself comfortable. Sorry I'm not a better host, it's hard for me to move around right now."

In this lighting, Kankri could make out for the first time the dark bruises across Cronus' face, his ruby eyes widening and a soft gasp escaping him. He quickly dropped his bag in the armchair and walked the few remaining steps towards the couch, hovering over him worriedly. "Oh my god, Cronus! What…?" He reached out automatically, fingertips flexing gingerly against the air to brush against one of his cheeks. His entire face was a mess of scrapes and bruises, one eye socket nearly black and his eye mostly closed, almost completely swollen shut. There were several butterfly stitches arching across his cheekbone beneath his black eye, and Kankri could tell his jaw was swollen and his lip was split in two different places. He looked absolutely horrible, completely pitiful. Kankri was shaking as he asked, "What happened? Did you crash your bike? _Oh my god_ -"

"Whoa whoa, calm down Kanny." Cronus chided affectionately, reaching up and stopping the other boy from touching his face gently, giving him a little grin and wincing as the action pulled at his bruises. "It's alright, I'm okay just...sit, will ya?"

Kankri nodded and took a place beside him on the couch, watching him worriedly and keeping a hold on one of his hands, looking absolutely mortified as he stammered out an apology. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have assumed that-"

"Kankri." Cronus said, squeezing his fingertips gently. "You wanna hear this or not?" The older boy closed his mouth, exhaling through his nose and nodding, cupping his hands around Cronus' as the boy reclined back against the couch and began speaking slowly. "I know I've mentioned him before in passing, but I don't really know how much you remember me talkin' about my pops." He sighed softly, closing his eyes and leaning his head back a bit. "He's been in jail for a while, for beatin' on my ma. Haven't seen him in years. He's a mean, drunk ol' bastard and my ma kicked him to the curb as soon as she was able." He looked to Kankri again, his expression soft, squeezing his fingers gently. "Anyway, he got out on parole a few days ago, showed up at my ma's house drunk as a skunk, lookin' ta cause trouble. I did what I had to do." He shrugged a little, wincing again and pressing a hand to his side, breathing unevenly for a few moments before the pain faded from his strained features. "Anyways. Ma's safe, and the ol' bastard's back in the slammer. That's all that matters to me."

"Your dad did this to you?" Kankri asked quietly, his chest twisting as Cronus met his eyes, arching his brow a bit.

"Yeah, I guess he had some time to build up some muscle bein' cooped up in the jailhouse and all. Wasn't really expecting the old man to pack such a wallop." He gave Kankri a little cheeky grin, chuckling lightly. "Lucky for me, I know how to handle myself. Besides, ma was watchin'. I wasn't gonna let her down."

"Cronus." Kankri's voice was torn, a sob caught in his throat, and the younger boy made a soft sound and reached up to touch his cheek.

"Kanny, baby. I'm okay, really. I'm just gonna need some time to heal." He rubbed against his side gently, Kankri's eyes following his movements. "Got a few cracked ribs, fractured cheekbone, and I can't see for shit right now, but I'm doin' just fine." He pet Kankri's face gently, tracing the curve of his cheek with his thumb. "I get by on my own, I always have, so you don't gotta worry about me, okay?"

"Why didn't you at least answer your phone?" Kankri said, frowning a little and fighting back the sting of tears threatening to spill down his cheeks, leaning into Cronus' touch. "I've been so _worried_ …"

Cronus searched his eyes slowly, a shy, happy smile curving up his cheeks. "You were worried about me, baby? Kanny, I'm flattered!" Kankri huffed and swatted at his chest, Cronus groaning at the light pressure and holding his side again. Kankri gasped, remembering his injuries and fussing over him worriedly, apologizing softly over and over. Cronus chuckled and took his hand again, lacing their fingers gently. "Baby, baby just...calm down and stop fussin' already. Doc's got me on some serious pain meds so I'm only feelin' a fraction of what I'd be feelin' otherwise." He watched him with a tender expression, his violet eyes shimmering in the dim light. "I'm just messin' with ya…"

"I hate you." Kankri whispered vehemently, pressing his hand against Cronus' chest lightly, squeezing his fingers with the other. "Why do you always act like this? Why do you always pretend like nothing is wrong? You take everything on yourself with no consideration of your own well-being!" He shook his head, his breath catching, a few stray tears streaking down his rosy cheeks. "Even with me; even when I'm mean to you, or say cruel things, you're always smiling ridiculously bright." He knit his brow, turning his eyes towards the other boy and swatting at him again, frowning down at him stubbornly. "It's _infuriating_ , you are _so_ thick-headed! Why do you just _take_ it?"

Cronus let out a soft breath, tilting his head back a bit and searching Kankri's teary eyes. "I love you, Kanny. How many times I gotta tell you before you start believin' me?"

Kankri let out a soft laugh, shaking his head and glancing away. "You don't love me. You love the idea of me. You don't know anything about me, only what I let you see. This-" He gestured to himself, pressing his hand over his chest. "This isn't real. None of it."

Cronus watched him, asking softly, "Do you really think in that pretty little head of yours that there's a single part of you I wouldn't gladly worship with every fiber of my being?"

"Stop it." Kankri chided softly, sniffing and wiping at his cheeks before exhaling and glancing towards the kitchen. "At least tell me you've been eating properly? You can't live off of coffee and avocado toast."

"I like avocado toast." Cronus replied with a pout, Kankri laughing softly and rolling his eyes, squeezing Cronus' hand for a moment longer before getting up from the couch and padding across the living room to the kitchen.

He busied himself rummaging through the cupboards and pantry before examining the fridge, frowning and calling over his shoulder loudly, "Honestly, Cronus! There's nothing in here except avocados and condiments!"

Cronus chuckled from the couch, groaning softly and calling back in reply, "We can order delivery, y'know. There's a little Italian place down the road that makes decent fettuccine. I'd say the carbonara's alright too." He was quiet for a moment before adding, "Got nothing on ma's spaghetti of course, but it'll do in a pinch."

Kankri closed the fridge and sighed softly, looking around the kitchen and gathering up the dirty dishes, putting them in the sink. He grabbed two fresh cups from the drawer overhead, filling them with cold water and bringing them back to the couch, offering one to Cronus as he sat down beside him again. "I don't trust you to order something that's not _drowning_ in some kind of sauce, so hand me your phone already." He held out his hand, giving Cronus an expectant look. "I'll make sure at least _something_ they bring has vegetables."

Cronus sipped at his water slowly, grinning against the rim as he asked cheekily, "Wait...doesn't this mean that you're _finally_ agreein' ta have dinner with me?"

Kankri started at him with a blank expression, frowning lightly. "I will leave you here to starve."

Cronus laughed heartily, almost spilling his water as he winced and reached for his side, Kankri reaching over and steadying the glass before it spilled everywhere, snatching it away from him. Cronus was laughing still while Kankri set the two glasses aside on the coffee table, glaring at him while the younger boy continued wheezing and pressing gingerly against his ribs. "God Kanny, ya tryin' ta kill me ova here! Ya so damn easy to tease!"

"Phone!" Kankri demanded, offering his palm again, Cronus fishing it out of the couch cushions and finding the correct contact before offering it to the older boy with an impish grin. "Thank you." Kankri said softly, dialing the number and pressing the phone to his ear, meeting Cronus' eyes and blushing a bit at the soft, affectionate expression across the younger boy's bruised face. It had his heart fluttering in his chest a bit, a pleasant shiver shuddering up his spine. He pushed down that burgeoning feeling, pulling his eyes from Cronus' as the restaurant answered, trying not to think too much about the way the other boy's unbridled happiness filled him with so much warmth.

-x-x-x-

John bit his bottom lip, smiling as he checked his new messages, his eyes trained on his phone. His blue irises flit across the bulky text quickly, glancing up around the library before beginning to text back quietly. He probably should be studying more seriously, especially since Kanaya was with him, but he couldn't help checking his phone every time it vibrated, smiling like an idiot each time. She was off gathering more research material, leaving John alone for the moment to focus on his studies, but all he could really focus on was Karkat. He was flirty, and sweet, and John _really_ wanted to kiss him the next time they were together.

They'd been texting all week, and John was trying to figure out a way to ask the other boy out without fumbling like an awkward idiot. What would Karkat like? Should he ask him out to the movies? To dinner? Did Karkat even _want_ to go out together or was he more interested in just spending a few solid hours with their faces smashed together. The thought alone had John flushing bright pink, biting against his bottom lip again and smiling excitedly. He hadn't had a crush in ages. He felt like a stupid kid again.

Kanaya walked over to their table and planted a small stack of books nearby her chair, humming to herself softly as she settled down again and flipped open her notebook, finding where she had left off before and reaching for a pen to start writing. John shoved his phone back in his pocket and let out a silent exhale before focusing on the textbook before him, tapping his pen lightly against the tabletop, his ears picking up the tune Kanaya was humming and humming alongside her in harmony. Their performance was coming up in just a few days, and John couldn't wait to see the auditorium filled for the first time since reopening. He wanted them to do well. He wanted people to like them, and talk about them with their friends to attract more people to the theatre. He especially wanted them to come back for future performances. He was anxious and thrilled all at once, and he was thoroughly distracted by a certain stagehand more and more every rehearsal.

He gasped a little when he felt his phone buzz again, reaching for it and opening the newest message, feeling his ears getting hot. Karkat must have read his mind, because the other boy's messages were mirroring his thoughts.

//Karkat: So, I don't know if this sounds like fun or not, but if you'd like to you can come over to my place later after you and Kanaya have finished studying?  


//Karkat: Nepeta is hanging out with Equius tonight, so I'm all by myself.

Another text came through while John was still reading, his chest drawing tight as he opened the next message eagerly, eyes widening a bit at the other boy's offer.

//Karkat: We could watch a movie and cuddle?

Oh yes. Cuddling was _definitely_ a yes. How was he possibly this sweet? John worried his bottom lip absently while texting the older boy back shakily, glancing up at Kanaya to see she was watching him with an amused smile. He turned a brighter shade of red and laughed nervously, shoving his phone back in his pocket as soon as he finished his reply and apologizing softly. "Ah, I'm sorry Kanaya! I didn't mean to distract you!"

"It's quite alright. I'm sure, judging from your expression, it was a text worth replying to." She returned her eyes to her notes, highlighting a small handwritten section and flipping through the pages of the research textbook until she found the next chapter. "Was that Karkat again? You two sure seem to be texting a lot recently."

"Y-Yeah, umm…" John tapped his pen against the table, one of his legs bouncing as he added hesitantly, "He sort of just asked me to come over after this, actually…"

Kanaya's brows rose a bit, her eyes remaining trained on the text before her. "Oh? That sounds like fun. Are you two planning on doing anything specific?" She glanced over at him, smiling wickedly, John's heart jumping into his throat as those jade eyes watched him evaluatively. It wasn't that he was trying to _hide_ what he and Karkat were doing necessarily, but John still wasn't completely sure himself, and he didn't want to jump ahead and say something he shouldn't, or assume something that wasn't actually there between them.

"I uh...I don't really know for sure. There was an offer for...a movie, and…" He swallowed nervously, feeling trapped under her calm gaze. "...and potentially...cuddles?"

Kanaya hummed softly, setting down her highlighter and crossing her hands atop her notebook, watching him with that same devious smile. "Oh? I assume that these cuddles are consensual and desired by both parties involved?"

John nodded a little, letting out a shaky exhale and letting his pen drop to the table, reaching up and taking off his glasses. He set them down gently beside his textbook and pressed his hands against his face, taking a few moments to breathe and contemplate his emotional state. "Yeah, yeah I'm just...getting worked up over nothing, I'm sure. He's so sweet, Kanaya. I love talking to him, I just…" He looked over at her helplessly, peeking through his fingers and hiding his hot cheeks. "I don't know what I'm _doing_. I've never..."

Kanaya couldn't hide her amusement, tittering softly and reaching across the table to touch one of his hands as he lowered them again, giving him a soft, delicate look. "Dear boy, have you ever considered that instead of worrying so much you might simply go with the flow and see where it takes you?" She patted the back of his hand gently. "Cuddling doesn't necessarily have to progress to anything more than that either, you should proceed only when you're both comfortable exploring more." She lifted her other hand, holding up a finger pointedly. "State your boundaries clearly, and if he is a decent person, which he appears in many aspects to be, he will not press you for anything further." She watched him closely, her jade irises reflecting the bright lights hanging overhead. "You mustn't be afraid to say what you want and don't want with potential new partners. Communication is the biggest key to success anyone can have when taking on a new lover."

John nodded and turned his hand over to squeeze hers lightly. "I know, and he's respected my boundaries so far...it's only that…" He exhaled and closed his eyes for a moment, drawing back his hands to press over his face again. "I'm not sure I _want_ him to respect my boundaries. Why do I feel like this? I want...I _want_ …"

The sound of realization that escaped Kanaya was sultry, and John peeked over at her again with his breath caught in his throat at her delighted tone. "Oh I see. It's not that you're worried he might take things too far. You're concerned that you _want_ him to already. Is that so?"

John nodded helplessly, arching his brow and rubbing at his flushed cheeks. "I don't...it makes me feel…" He shook his head, looking down at his notebook and letting out a soft, frustrated sound. "Is it completely stupid for me to be thinking about those sorts of things? Already? We've been talking for a week! We've never even kissed! I haven't-"

"Stop shaming yourself." Kanaya said, her tone serious, but also gentle. She reached back across the table and took his hand again, holding on tight this time and searching his eyes with purpose. "You are _shaming_ yourself, telling yourself you aren't allowed to want the things you want. That it's indecent or slutty, and based on what? Archaic societal standards?" She kept searching his eyes as she spoke, her tone calm and soothing. "You're bottling yourself up and forcing your true feelings down when you should be _embracing_ them." She pet across the back of his hand gently, her nails tracing lightly against his warm skin. "You are allowed to desire someone, to lust after someone, regardless of how long you've known the other person. If feelings are consensual, and you are safe and use protection," she squeezed his hand, grinning impishly again, "then by all means. Do whatever you both want to do." She sighed softly, leaning a bit closer as she added, "This is _your_ body. _Your_ mind. _Your_ heart. This is _your life_." She grinned and nodded her head while continuing encouragingly. "You are allowed to do _whatever you want_ , within the general guidelines of safe, sane, and consensual activities." She patted his hand gently before pulling back, returning her eyes to her textbook once more. "You mentioned before he's polyamorous, correct? Nepeta is his primary partner?" John nodded, making a soft sound of affirmation. "I'm certain he is more than willing to discuss with you his desires, if you are open to revealing your own. Communication is huge in polyamory. As often as he texts you, I'm sure he would be open to a conversation about what you're yearning to explore."

John smiled over at her, laughing and nodding as he reclined back in his chair, exhaling and watching her fondly. "Thank you Kanaya. Truly. I really needed to hear that."

"I had a sneaking suspicion." She replied teasingly, glancing over at him and giving him a little wink. "Also, not to assume your plans for this evening, but might I suggest stopping by the corner drugstore before making your way to Karkat's? Having a few condoms on hand might put your mind at ease should things progress beyond your tentatively scheduled cuddling."

John made a soft sound close to a whine and nodded before hiding his face again, appreciative as always for her honesty, but embarrassed beyond belief nonetheless. He eventually returned his spectacles to their usual placement, pushing them up the bridge of his nose and gathering his things, giving Kanaya a hug and quietly bidding farewell before departing. There was no way he was going to be able to study any more tonight with the thought of Karkat on his mind. He needed a bit of time to prepare himself for what might happen later that night, and stop by the corner drugstore. Just in case.

-x-x-x-

John tossed his backpack onto his bed and pulled his phone from his pocket, worrying his lip and checking the last text he'd received from Karkat, noting it contained his address. He'd stopped by the drugstore on his way home, a box of condoms tucked away in his backpack's side pocket, his mind reeling with the possibilities the night might bring. He hesitated for a long moment, then decided he needed to work out some tension before he could even consider actually heading over to Karkat's place. He'd been worked up all day, just fantasizing. He didn't want to embarrass himself by seeming too eager. He might as well get it out of his system and take a shower before changing into fresh clothes. It would give him some extra time to think.

He turned towards his bedside table, grabbing his charger cable and plugging in his phone, opening Spotify and putting his favorite playlist on shuffle. The audio synchronized seamlessly via bluetooth with the twin speakers in his bedroom and attached bathroom, the beat throbbing through the walls as bass flooded the apartment. There were times he didn't mind Jake being out of town. This was definitely one of them.

He started stripping out of his clothes, bundling them up and tossing them towards the closet hamper, stepping into the bathroom and turning on the shower before turning to look at himself in the mirror. He reached up and ran a hand through his hair, his other hand rubbing down his chest and taut stomach to wrap around his semi, giving himself a few slow strokes before deciding he needed more than just a quick jerk. He wanted something _inside_ so he could act out his latest fantasy in full.

He hummed along with the music while crouching down to reach beneath the sink, pulling open the right-side door and dipping his fingers into the black shoebox tucked away behind a small stack of fluffy white towels. He felt through the contents by hand, locating what he was looking for and pulling it from the box, rising to his feet again and gazing down at the smooth, curved dildo in his hand. He licked his lips, running his fingertips along the bright blue silicone and moaning softly with want, his other hand resuming stroking his cock. He set the suction-cup dildo atop the sink and reached up to open the rectangular mirror, retrieving a bottle of lube from the shelf hidden behind the pane, the glass already beginning to fog with steam. He shivered excitedly, eyeing the other assortment of goodies along the shelf before grabbing a cockring as well, closing the mirror once more. He slicked himself up, coating his cock with lube slowly while soft, needy sounds escaped his throat. He set the lube aside to begin working the cockring down his shaft, letting it rest tightly at the base, his pulse throbbing and causing his rigid arousal to twitch, precum dripping down his foreskin languidly.

He panted softly, stroking himself for a few moments before eyeing the blue dildo on the sink, grabbing it and turning towards the shower. He eyed the lip of the tub, then his eyes drifted to the toilet, then over to the full-length mirror against the wall. Decisions, decisions. He opted for the mirror, retrieving the lube once more and coating his fingers with the thick, slick substance before reaching behind himself with one hand and dipping between his cheeks to work himself open, using the other hand to shove the dildo in his mouth.

He moaned and sucked at the soft silicone, pushing another finger inside and rocking back against his hand as he felt his cock throb, stretching for a few moments longer before stepping over to the mirror, finding a good position and crouching down beside it. He pulled the dildo from his lips, slapping the suction-cup base against the mirror at the appropriate height, then turned around and positioned himself on all fours before it.

" _Gimme, gimme, gimme what you got, got~  
__'Cause I can't wait, wait, wait anymore, more, more, more~_ "

He shuffled backwards until he felt the tip of the toy pressing against his slick entrance, whining and wrapping his fingers once more around his cock. His thighs were already trembling, his heart pounding excitedly.

" _Don't even talk about the consequence,  
__'Cause right now, you're the only thing that's making any sense to me~  
__And I don't give a damn what they say, what they think, think~  
__'Cause you're the only one who's on my mind!_ "

"Karkat," he whispered softly, barely audible over the music. He shifted his hips back more, pushing the toy into himself, gasping and stroking his cock quickly. "Karkat, Karkat...want you…"

" _I feel so untouched  
And I want you so much~  
That I just can't resist you~  
It's not enough to say that I miss you._"

He closed his eyes, imagining the scene as he had many times throughout the week with growing urgency; envisioning himself on his knees before Karkat's thick cock, sucking him greedily until he was worked up and ready to mount him. He bit his lip, wondering what he would feel like behind him, what he would sound like as he pressed into him, if he would be rough or perhaps gentle their first time. He moaned and used both hands to push himself back against the toy until his ass was flush with the mirror, whining loudly and rocking his hips, fucking himself on the toy deeply while his bound cock swayed heavily between his legs.

"Yes! Ah yes I want you so much…!" He rolled his hips and moved to jerk himself again, panting and opening his eyes to stare at the opposite wall, lips parted and voice broken as he begged, "Fuck me, fuck me, please~ I want your cock!" He let his voice rise, his vocalizations ringing off the bathroom walls and echoing out towards his bedroom, sounding loudly throughout the empty house along with the bass. John continued crying out and moaning in abandon, blushing hotly and running a hand across his chest to tweak his nipples before arching his back and rocking faster against the dildo, feeling his stomach coiling tight.

" _I feel so untouched right now,  
Need you so much!  
Somehow I can't forget you~  
Goin' crazy from the moment I met you._"

He jerked his hips back against the dildo rhythmically while tugging at his weeping cock, panting heavily and angling his hips just right so the toy began prodding against his prostate with each thrust. "Karkat! Karkat oh _fuck me please_! I want you! _Ah_!" His breath hitched drastically each time he jerked his hips back against that sweet spot, moaning uncontrollably and twisting his hand around his cock with delicious speed and tightness, giving himself exactly what he needed to climax hard but unable to find release. He kept edging himself as he strained against the cockring and dildo, fingertips teasing his glans and rolling back his foreskin with each quick pump, his eyes drifting towards the ceiling and watching the steam curling above the shower. "Fuck! _Fuck_! Oh god!"

" _Gimme, gimme, gimme all of you, you~  
__Don't be scared~  
__I'll see you through the loneliness of  
__Wanting more, more, more~_

 _Don't even think about what's right or wrong, or wrong or right~  
__'Cause in the end, it's only you and me,  
__And no one else is gonna be around_  
_To answer all the questions left behind,  
__And you and I are meant to be~_ "

He whined and reached down to cup his testes, rolling them in his palm and tugging gently while fucking himself back on the dildo slow and deep. "I'm yours, Karkat, I'm yours~" He quickened his movements, rocking himself back against the toy harder and faster, tugging his testes firmly before returning to jerking his cock. "Make me yours, make me yours, _please_! I'll be such a good boy for you! _Please, Daddy_ ~"

He gasped and curled his toes, feeling himself edging on the brink again, crying out sharply and shifting his trembling fingers to tug up the cockring seated at the base of his arousal. He began moaning brokenly, sliding the tight silicone band up with a bit of insistent tugging, watching with hazy eyes as it rolled up over his glans and fell to the floor before rolling off towards the sink. As soon as his cock was free John pressed both of his hands to the tile floor and began rocking back eagerly as he fucked against his prostate roughly, practically sobbing as he started to cum.

"Daddy! Daddy! _Daddy! Ah!_ " He tensed his shoulders and kept bouncing back onto the toy as he felt himself clench down around the dildo, his cock shooting thick ropes of cum against his stomach and chest before streaking hot pulses across the tile floor. He always came so much after edging, and he was exhausted from the intensity of his orgasm, whining and rocking his hips slowly before pressing back against the dildo hard, resting against it and reeling with the dizzying afterglow overwhelming his senses. "Karkat…" he whispered softly, shivers wracking through him as he clenched around the dildo rhythmically. "I'm yours…"

He stayed like that, crouched on all fours with his dildo buried deep, before eventually the waves of his afterglow began to lessen and he could move his shaky limbs again. He blinked slowly to clear his hazy vision, his thoughts gradually returning to a more collected state as he took in a few deep breaths. He shivered and gingerly pushed himself up to his feet, wobbly as he unstuck the dildo from the mirror and carried it with him into the shower. He set the toy against the lip of the tub for later and ducked under the hot water, moaning softly as the downpour warmed his chilled skin. His knees were a little achy from fucking himself so roughly on the hard tile, but it had _so_ been worth it. He reached for his loofah, blushing a bit as he remembered the dirty things he'd called out while he was edging himself. He'd even called him Daddy while cumming, and holy fuck had it been hot. It had felt _so good_ , made him feel _so sexy_ , John biting his lip and blushing darkly as he lathered his favorite vanilla body wash into the loofah between his hands.

"Fuck, I have it _so_ bad for him…" He mumbled under his breath, scrubbing himself down thoroughly. Once he was finished he doused his head beneath the water, reaching for his shampoo next. He felt so much better now, the tension that had been winding him up all week thankfully out of his system, and he wondered fleetingly as he began to lather his hair if Karkat would enjoy being called Daddy during sex. He really, _really_ hoped so. It was one of his biggest turn-ons. He giggled and exhaled through his nose, feeling his cheeks getting hot all over again. He really wanted to find a way to discuss his various kinks with him, but before all that he should _probably_ try to _maybe_ focus on _potentially_ kissing him first.

-x-x-x-

Karkat greeted John at the door when the other boy arrived, watching him walk up the sidewalk with a little smile, beckoning him inside when their eyes met. "Hey, you find the place okay?"

"Yeah! There was guest parking right where you said there'd be! I parked right around the corner." He looked around the apartment as he stepped inside, sliding off his shoes by the door then padding across the living room carpet towards the couch, smiling as he looked back at Karkat. "Your place is nice! Thanks for having me over."

"Yeah, of course. Thanks for wanting to come chill with me." He stepped over to John, brushing his hand against the other boy's before smiling and slipping past him. He sat down on the couch first, reclining back across the length of the couch and looking up at him while opening his arms, his position leaving plenty of space for John to lay beside him. "You like being little spoon? I don't really have any boundaries, so lay however you're most comfortable."

"Oh! Umm…" John blushed a bit, nodding and shifting closer to the couch. "Okay, I'll just…" He leaned over Karkat, hovered there for a moment before turning so his back was to the other boy as he lay down. He pressed back against him as Karkat wrapped his arms around his waist, the other boy finding a comfortable position and curling around him slightly.

"This okay?" he asked, peeking over John's shoulder with a little smile.

"Yes!" The younger boy squeaked, Karkat chuckling softly and rubbing at his side gently, his fingers warm as they passed over the thin fabric of his long-sleeved shirt.

"It's okay to be nervous, but I promise I won't touch you unless you want me to." He leaned in and inhaled against John's shoulder, humming appreciatively. "You smell good."

"You do too…" John said shyly, resting his arm over Karkat's and finding his hand, Karkat shifting to lace their fingers together gently. There was a movie already playing on the television before the couch, something John really wasn't planning on paying attention to as distracted as he already was. This was completely innocent and John's thoughts were already racing. Maybe he shouldn't have acted out his fantasy before coming over after all. He couldn't stop thinking about it, his heart fluttering wildly.

After a few moments of relatively calm quiet he felt Karkat twist behind him, grabbing the remote from where it rested against the back of the couch and offering it to John with a low hum, their fingertips brushing as John accepted it. "Here, you pick something for us to watch, and I'll order us food." John could hear him typing on his phone as he asked, "Burgers or pizza?"

"Umm, burgers sound good actually." John said with a shy glance over his shoulder, returning his eyes to the tv and flicking through the channels. He found one of the saved channels in Karkat's favorites list was specifically for streaming old Broadway musicals, John grinning eagerly and clicking on it with a smile. A familiar melody began drifting from the speakers as John leaned forward and set the remote on the table in front of the couch, returning to press back against Karkat's chest a moment later. "Do you like _West Side Story_?"

"Oh yeah, classic. Good choice." Karkat smiled and leaned in to plant a kiss against John's shoulder, the younger boy blushing and looking back at him as he continued typing for a moment then offered John his phone. "Pick out whatever you like. This place has good shakes too if you want dessert."

"Thank you, Karkat…" He picked out a burger and a vanilla shake, adding it to the order and handing the device back to Karkat. When he took the phone back John hesitated then rolled over a bit, watching him as he finished the order then set his phone on the back of the couch, the older boy grinning down at John when he caught his eyes.

"Hey…" He said softly, petting along John's side. "You okay? Are you comfortable?"

"Yeah," John breathed softly, "I was...hoping I could ask you something?" He searched his eyes, blushing faintly. "I just don't know how to ask you without it sounding super awkward. I would have asked over text, but...I thought it might be better in person."

Karkat blinked down at him, arching his brow a bit and finding his hand. "You can ask me anything. Don't worry, I'm not going to think you're awkward." He hovered over him, his expression soft. The opening to the musical started playing in the background and filled the silence between them, Karkat squeezing his fingers gently.

John exhaled shakily, then tightened his hold on Karkat's hand and asked hesitantly, "Is it okay if...if I've never…" He paused and laughed a bit, glancing down and taking a moment to gather himself. Karkat watched him patiently, thumb rubbing against his hand in soothing circles, his grey eyes reflecting the shifting light from the tv. John met his eyes again after a moment, his voice pitched a bit higher than usual, clearly trying to just force out the words the best he could. "What I mean is, would you still...want to kiss me, if I said...I've never kissed another boy before?" He searched Karkat's eyes, adding hurriedly, "I mean, I've never really kissed _anyone_ before, except this one time when I was younger, with my best friend Rose, and it was nice and everything but I-" He cut himself off, reaching up and pressing a hand against his mouth while exhaling another shaky breath, his voice wavering as he tried again. "I'm sorry. I talk a lot when I'm nervous."

Karkat hummed softly, reaching up and carefully taking John's glasses from the bridge of his nose, John blinking up at him as he watched his slow movements. Karkat folded them carefully, resting them with his phone against the back of the couch, then reached forward and wrapped his arms around John gently, tugging him against his chest. John blushed furiously, pressing his face against Karkat's hoodie and hiding there, shivering a bit as Karkat rubbed up and down his back in heavy, slow passes. John breathed slowly against him, taking in his calming scent and his rhythmic, steady breathing, and marveled at the way Karkat's voice rumbled in his chest as he started to speak.

"It doesn't matter to me if you've kissed someone before." He reached up and carded his fingers through John's dark hair, kneading slowly. "If you're concerned about your lack of experience, don't be. I think it's cute, actually. It means I get to teach you things, if you decide it's okay for me to kiss you."

"I've never…" John began, speaking hesitantly against his chest while clinging to his hoodie a bit tighter. "I've never...done anything...with another person." He whined quietly as he felt his chest tighten, his shoulders hunching as he pressed his face against the soft, dark fabric across Karkat's chest. "I...I know what to do, when I'm by myself, but with someone else I'm clueless." He tilted his face to the side so he could breathe in the space between them, his cheek resting against Karkat's strong heartbeat. The older boy was still petting his hair gently, his other hand wandering up and down John's side and lower back as he listened. "I've been so nervous to tell you, because I like talking to you, a lot. Like, a lot a lot. I didn't want you to think of me any differently, or lose interest because I don't know what to do…"

Karkat shushed him gently, leaning back a bit and tilting his face up, searching his eyes. John's face was flushed pink, and his eyes were a little wet, and he was certain he was embarrassing himself despite Karkat's reassurances. He'd never felt so vulnerable before. Karkat leaned in slowly, lips brushing against his forehead then drifting down his cheeks and across his nose, his breath warm against his skin. "Thank you for telling me." He searched John's eyes, giving him an affectionate smile and pressing their foreheads together gently. "That must have taken so much courage for you to reveal to me that part of yourself. Thank you for trusting me."

John felt a weight he had been holding in his chest release, exhaling softly and watching Karkat's eyes. There wasn't any judgement there, just calm patience and tender affection, and it had John's heart fluttering in his chest with renewed vibrancy. He smiled, laughing softly and closing his eyes, nodding a bit and curling his fingers in Karkat's hoodie as he kissed at his cheeks once more.

Karkat continued tracing his lips against John's cheek and forehead before kissing at the other cheek lightly, tilting John's face up a little more and looking down at him while whispering softly, "You're really fucking beautiful, you know that?" The whine that left John escaped him before he realized he'd made a sound, his whole face turning bright red as he pressed his hand against his mouth, Karkat chuckling softly and pulling his fingers away. "It's alright, you don't have to hide from me…" He moved his fingers once more to trace the curve of John's face, thumb teasing his lips gently before he sighed and carded his fingers through his dark locks again, his voice low and deep as he spoke. "I want to kiss you. I've wanted to kiss you since that night, when we were standing outside in the rain. I want to know what you taste like, what noises you'll make when you're beneath me…"

John let out a soft, shaky sound between a moan and a squeak, not sure if Karkat meant for it to sound the way that it had or if John's mind was still in the gutter from his earlier solo sesh. He searched Karkat's eyes, nodding a little and gripping his hoodie tightly. "Yeah, I want to too. I want to kiss you…"

Karkat smiled down at him, leaning over him and cupping the back of his head while bringing their mouths together, John letting out a soft moan that was muffled between them as Karkat kissed him for the first time. John was trembling so hard he was certain Karkat could feel it, but the older boy just sighed contentedly and kissed him slowly, taking the lead and showing him how to move. John could hear himself making soft sounds against Karkat's mouth, heart pounding in his chest as the other boy pulled him closer and flicked his tongue against his trembling lips, John moaning again as he slowly started to reciprocate. They kissed slowly, exploring one another and learning each other's sounds and taste, Karkat pulling back a moment later and kissing at his cheeks, his eyes heavy as he whispered, "You taste so sweet, and you sound so cute when you moan for me, baby…"

John couldn't help the answering moan that escaped him in response to those words, blushing hotly and fighting his instincts not to cover his face, his heart hammering in his skull. He searched Karkat's eyes, one of his hands reaching up and petting along his throat, Karkat humming softly and leaning into his touch. John watched him for a few long moments before asking shakily, "I-Is it okay if I want more…?"

"Of course," Karkat said gently, laughing softly and kissing at his lips slowly, saying as they parted and shared breath, "You can have anything you want from me baby, you set the pace. Let me know what you need from me."

Fuck. _Fuck_. Karkat couldn't be giving him that much power so quickly, offering himself so simply like that. John was already on the brink of losing control. He whined in the back of his throat, blushing furiously while pressing eagerly against his lips, panting softly between kisses, "I can't...I need you…" He pulled back for a moment, trying to clear his train of thought. "I need you to take control." He said softly, shivering and searching Karkat's stormy eyes. "I can't, I'm too embarrassed to say...everything that I want…" He bit his lip, worrying it between his teeth, whispering softly after a moment, " _Please_. I want you so badly…"

Karkat inhaled softly, watching John's face and tugging his hair gently, tilting his head back and exposing his neck, leaning in to kiss against his pulse slowly. "Alright." He whispered against his throat, "I ask, and you respond." He kissed his neck slowly, John gasping and moaning lightly, shaky fingers curling desperately against his hoodie. "First, I need you to understand the stoplight system, so we can communicate what you need as simply as possible. It will help us learn one another's limits, and ensure we're both on the same wavelength." He nuzzled against his throat, kissing gently before continuing. "Green is good. Green means, yes I _definitely_ want." He kissed down to his shoulder, whispering softly, "Yellow is maybe, you _might_ be interested but you aren't entirely sure." He pulled back a bit, meeting John's eyes. "Red is a hard no. Red means I will stop what I'm doing, no matter what that happens to be, and check in with you. It's also a guarantee that I will never cross that boundary with you again, unless you give me permission to do so." He pet his cheek, tightening his hold on John's hair just enough that it caused a moan to escape from his parted lips, John panting softly and clinging to him desperately. "Do you understand? Stay it back to me."

"Green is good, yellow is maybe, red means no, or stop." John searched Karkat's eyes, the older boy's expression soft as he leaned down and kissed him gently, kneading against his skull and humming against his lips.

"Good boy." Karkat whispered, and it set every nerve inside of John on fire, the younger boy whimpering and closing his eyes as a full-body shudder wracked through him. Karkat smiled down at him with a heated expression, humming appreciatively at his reaction. "You like that? You wanna be my good boy?"

" _Yes_." John whispered reverently, his eyes hazy as he looked up at the boy on top of him. "Yes _please_ , I want to be good for you…"

"I know you do, babyboy. I know you wanna be so good for me…" He chuckled softly and claimed his mouth again in another searing kiss, John whimpering and arching against his touch the best he could while still half-twisted onto his side. When Karkat pulled away, he glanced towards the door, pausing his movements and listening. John blinked up at him, not understanding for a moment before a knock sounded at the door, Karkat shifting from his side and climbing up off of the cushions to answer. He shared a polite exchange with the delivery driver before closing the door again and locking it behind him, setting the burgers and shakes on the countertop and looking over at John with a lazy smirk. He started to speak, then paused, picking up the two shakes and taking them to the fridge, tucking them away inside so they wouldn't completely melt before they were ready for them. He returned to the couch a few moments later, kneeling down beside John and searching his eyes while petting gently at his rosy cheek. "I ask, you give me a color." John nodded, searching his eyes. "Do you want to come to bed with me?"

"Green." John's reply was immediate, Karkat grinning wide at his eagerness and getting to his feet, taking John's hand and tugging him up beside him, pulling him into a heated kiss. He managed to pull himself away from John's lips just long enough to lead him down the hallway to his bedroom door, pressing the younger boy back against the wall beside the frame and kissing him hotly for a few moments before opening the door.

He glanced into his dark bedroom, meeting John's eyes again and whispering softly as he leaned in, "Do you want me to turn on the lights so we can see one another?"

"Green." John said again, shivering pleasantly and wondering if Karkat was just guessing what he would like, or if the thought of watching one another was just as hot for him. Karkat gave him another kiss before pulling him from the wall, flicking on the light as he tugged John towards the bed, turning to face him and trailing a splayed hand up his chest.

"Can I undress you?" He asked softly, searching his blue eyes, John nodding and shivering as Karkat kissed him slowly. He began tugging at his clothes, pulling off his long-sleeved shirt first before working at his skinny jeans, kneeling before him while sliding the denim down his lean legs. He paused to kiss at his knee, gliding his hands back up his thighs while rising to his feet, resting his hands at John's hips and tracing his thumb against the waistband of his briefs. "Lay down for me, baby."

John did as he was told, moving forward and crawling onto the bed, laying down on his back in the center of the mattress and watching Karkat as he started to strip. He tugged off his hoodie first, then his dark tank top beneath, gliding his hands down his body and pushing his jeans down over his hips with slow, suggestive movements. John watched him with a bright blush, Karkat chuckling softly before crawling onto the bed in only his boxer briefs, pausing for just a moment to kiss across John's stomach before ascending to his chest, flicking his eyes up with a heated look as he starting speaking again.

"Do you like your nipples being played with?"

"Green." John shivered, and Karkat smiled as his fingers found one, rubbing teasingly at the pert bud.

"Do you want me to be gentle with you?"

John paused, then said, "Yellow," clarifying at Karkat's questioning look, "I like things gentle, yes, but right now I really…" He swallowed thickly, squirming under the intensity of Karkat's gaze. "Right now I _really_ want you to be rough."

Karkat hummed softly, kissing at his shoulder and asking gently, "Do you want me to fuck you?"

John's breath caught in his throat, not expecting Karkat to ask so suddenly, but he nodded slowly, whispering breathlessly, "Green."

He took John's hand, shifting to rest at his side while looking down at him, propping himself up a bit and saying softly, "Alright, but you _are_ a virgin. While I understand you want me to be rough with you I also don't want to _hurt_ you, John." He squeezed his fingers, adding gently, "I want to give you what you want, I'm just afraid you don't entirely know what you're asking." He thought for a moment, then asked while kissing across his knuckles sweetly, "Will you let me work you up slowly, and start off gentle? If you're certain you want more I'll give it to you, but I want to be cautious your first time."

"Green." John said with a shy smile, blushing and watching Karkat kiss across the back of his hand slowly, his grey eyes trained on John's blue.

"Do you want me to talk dirty to you?" He asked next, smirking at the way John's breath caught in his throat. "Do you like it when I call you baby? When I say you're my babyboy?"

"Green. Green." John nodded with a sharp exhale. " _Very_ green."

Karkat hummed and shifted forward to kiss John's lips while moving to hover over him again, trailing his lips down John's neck and whispering against his ear, "Do you want me to leave marks on you, baby?" He kissed at his throat, his voice dropping as he offered suggestions. "Hickeys?" He trailed one of his hands down John's side, his nails pressing into his skin. "Scratches?" He smirked against his fluttering pulse, listening to John's breathing quicken, pressing his teeth against his skin teasingly. "Bite marks?"

"Yes! Yes, _please_!" He moaned, crying out eagerly as he felt Karkat start to suck at his neck, biting lightly before beginning to suck harder at that same spot. "Green! Green, _fuck_!" Karkat's hand drifted down his stomach and flit across the waistband of his briefs, John rocking his hips up eagerly as Karkat continued to suck. "Please, Daddy! Touch me!"

Karkat moaned softly against his neck, pulling back a moment later with a wet pop and meeting John's eyes. His face was impossibly flushed as he started palming John through the soft fabric of his briefs, his fingertips dancing lightly against his straining erection. "Yeah? Are you Daddy's good babyboy?" He smirked at the way John's breath hitched, a soft whine leaving him as Karkat teased at the outline of his cock. "You want Daddy to touch you like this?"

"Yes, Daddy." John whispered, his face so red his ears were turning pink. "Want you so much, wanna feel you inside me…"

"Good boy." Karkat praised softly, John moaning into the kiss pressed against his lips. Karkat gradually tugged his waistband down so the thick elastic band rested just under his testes, wrapping his warm fingers around his twitching cock and starting to stroke slowly. John gasped and moaned into his mouth eagerly, bucking his hips up into Karkat's hand, the older boy slicking his precum down his foreskin and giving him a few quick jerks, John's toes curling as Karkat quickly turned him into a writhing, desperate mess.

"Daddy, want you in me, please…" He panted, Karkat kissing at his neck again and jerking him a bit quicker. "Please, I need it. I need you inside…"

"You sound so pretty when you beg for me." Karkat growled against his ear, shifting his hands to John's hips and tugging down his briefs slowly. He moaned softly and bit his bottom lip as he watched John's flushed cock bounce lightly against his stomach, the younger boy looking up at him as he settled back against the mattress. Carefully Karkat untangled the soft fabric from John's ankles before tossing the briefs off of the bed, petting up his thighs hungrily and licking his lips, his gaze absolutely lascivious. He leaned down to kiss him hotly before shifting to kneel between his legs, lifting John's knees a little so he was bent in on himself. He leaned over his lithe body, kissing up his chest while reaching down to slide his fingers between his cheeks gently, prodding with his fingertips and finding his entrance was already wet. "You want me here? You want my cock inside you?" He pressed a finger inside, pushing in to the first knuckle and thrusting gently, feeling John's body clench around him. He was lubed thoroughly, his body already open enough that Karkat could easily press in to the second knuckle, fucking him with his finger while John tightened around him. It was _incredibly_ hot.

"Please, _please_ …!" John begged, spreading his thighs wider to give Karkat more access, one of his hands gripping Karkat's shoulder while the other reached down and began tugging at the edge of his boxer briefs. "Wanna taste you first, wanna suck you off…" He whined as Karkat added a second finger, rocking his hips down against his hand urgently. "Please Daddy let me suck you."

"Take out my cock." Karkat said huskily, "Suck me while I stretch you." John whined and did as he was told, his hands moving to Karkat's hips as the older boy shifted closer to his shoulder. He tugged down the dark fabric straining against Karkat's erection, eyes wide as he took in the sight of it, incredibly thick and flushed dusky pink, standing up proudly against his stomach and curving upwards towards his navel. Karkat hummed softly, watching John while repositioning them slightly so his cock was before John's face and Karkat was bent over his side, fucking into him steadily with two fingers. "That's my good boy, take my cock…" Karkat whispered, looking down at John as he mouthed at the head slowly, petting his hair with his other hand while working those two fingers up to the second knuckle. John rocked into his touch, moaning and licking up the underside of his cock before eagerly taking him into his mouth, humming around him. As John started to suck, Karkat curled his fingers, groaning and stretching him deeper, scissoring as he panted softly, "You've been playing with yourself, haven't you baby? You're already wet for me, did you touch yourself before coming to see me?" John moaned loudly and swallowed around his cock, Karkat feeling him jerk a little bit as he nodded and sucked him down further, flicking his tongue against his glans. " _Fuck_ that feels good babyboy, you're doing so well." He pressed his fingers in deeper, thrusting against his clenching walls while moaning softly at the feeling of his warm, wet mouth. "Just a little bit more and Daddy will give you what you need. Keep sucking, baby. I'm gonna make you feel so good…"

John moaned loudly, the vibrations causing Karkat to groan and buck his hips a bit, John's hands on the back of his thighs, bobbing eagerly to take him into his throat the best he could given his inexperience. When Karkat was satisfied that he was sufficiently stretched, he withdrew his fingers and gently tugged at John's hair until he released his cock, grinning down at him lustfully. He quickly shifted off the bed to shove down his boxer briefs, wiping his fingers against the dark cloth before climbing in bed beside him again, returning to his previous position. He pulled John close, kissing him long and deep, John shivering under him as Karkat licked against his tongue, tasting himself. When he pulled back John was dazed, panting hard and blinking up at him hazily, Karkat smiling and petting his cheek, kissing him slowly before asking his next question.

"Do you want me to fuck you like this, on your back?"

"Mmh, yellow," John murmured softly, his voice slightly hoarse, searching Karkat's eyes while worrying his lip. "Doggy?"

"On your knees." Karkat said while pulling back with a grin, John inhaling sharply and letting out an eager giggle, doing as he was told and rolling over, pushing himself up onto his knees and getting into position. Karkat swatted his ass playfully, watching for a moment before pulling a pillow down from the headboard, offering it to John as an anchor to hold onto as he bent over, ass in the air. Karkat knelt behind him, kneading his cheeks gently and spreading him apart, the two boys moaning together as Karkat teased his entrance with his fingers, John rocking back his hips. "You want me to fuck you, babyboy? Tell me how much you want it."

"I want it Daddy, I want your cock so badly, please~" His voice was a high whine, his legs shaking, "Please _please_ fuck me, Daddy. I want you inside me, I wanna feel it when you cum~"

Karkat inhaled softly, asking gently, "You want me to fuck you bareback?"

John nodded eagerly, blushing and wiggling his hips, biting at his lip shyly and searching his eyes. "Please, Daddy. Wanna feel you."

"Alright. Give me a moment." He smacked at John's ass playfully, the younger boy letting out a soft heated sound and giggling excitedly as Karkat stepped away from the bed. "Stroke your cock for Daddy, I'll be right back." He walked across the room, disappearing past the doorframe and out of sight, John listening to his fading footsteps as he headed down the hallway towards the living room.

John whined softly, watching him go, reaching one hand down to wrap around himself and stroke slowly, closing his eyes and rocking his hips against the air. This was it, he was about to have sex for the first time, and he had never been more excited about anything. He could hear Karkat's voice after a moment and he turned towards the hallway curiously, wondering what he was doing. He heard a few exchanges back and forth, then Karkat returned to him a moment later, his phone in hand. He gave him a little grin and crawled up behind him again on the mattress, tossing his phone towards the pillows bunched at the headboard. "Alright, we got a green light for bareback. I just wanted to check in with her, we hadn't discussed it beforehand."

Oh. He must have called Nepeta. John blushed a bit, looking back at Karkat curiously. "You mean...you discussed having sex with me with your girlfriend before inviting me over?"

"Well, yeah. The possibility of sex, anyway." Karkat said with a soft laugh, smoothing his hand along John's back and leaning over him to kiss at his shoulders gently, meeting his eyes with a little smirk. "You aren't the only one who's been thinking about doing this. It's also _really hot_ thinking about you masturbating before coming over here. Seriously." He kissed against John's shoulder slowly, feeling him shiver under his touch. "It must have been quite the sight."

John whined softly, biting his bottom lip, heat crawling over him as he searched Karkat's eyes. "I was...on my knees, just like this...thinking about you taking me…"

"Yeah?" Karkat breathed, lifting himself from across John's back and planting his knees firmly against the mattress, petting along the rise of John's ass before smacking his palm against one of his cheeks smartly. John gasped loudly, whining as Karkat rubbed his pink skin, his voice dropping as he checked in with the trembling boy beneath him. "Green, baby?"

"Green!" John nodded, wriggling his hips and clutching his pillow tighter, marveling at the sharp spark that the impact had sent coursing through him. "Green, Daddy~ More? Please?"

"That's my good boy." Karkat chuckled huskily, striking his palm against his cheek again, John crying out and jerking forward before Karkat shushed him and rubbed against the handprint he'd left behind, taking both of his cheeks and kneading them gently. "You want me to fuck you, baby? Let me hear you."

"I want your cock! I want it!" John wailed, gasping as Karkat spanked him again, his whole body shaking. "Yes, Daddy! Fuck me _please_! I want you inside me!"

"You sound so pretty, babyboy." He brought his hand down hard again, smacking against that growing pink mark, John crying out and jerking forward as Karkat steadied him then spanked him again. "That's it baby, call out for me. I wanna hear your voice."

"Ah! _Ah_! _Daddy_!" He yelped and moaned loudly, crying out sharply each time Karkat's hand made impact. "Fuck me! _Fuck me_! Daddy, _please_!"

"You want me to cum inside you, baby? Huh? You want me to mark your pretty pale skin and fill you up with my cum?" He reached down and grabbed John's hair, jerking him up so his back was bowed and a shary cry ripped from his lips. "You want me to fuck you until you can't speak?"

"Daddy! Daddy…" John cried, his eyes glazed over and his throat hoarse, Karkat growling as he leaned in and bit hard into his shoulder, John screaming and arching against him. " _Fuck me, Daddy!_ " He gasped brokenly and arched against the mattress dramatically as he felt Karkat begin to press into him, rocking his hips back to take more and more of his thick cock as he pressed steadily inside. " _Ah! Ah! Yes! Karkat!_ "

Karkat growled and sunk his teeth in a bit harder, John howling as he took him to the hilt. His eyes were wide as he stared up at the seam of the wall and ceiling, hot tears slipping down his cheeks as he gasped for air. Karkat pulled his mouth from John's shoulder with a deep groan, gripping his hips and starting to thrust slowly, John panting openly as staccato pleasured cries spilt unhindered from his lips, his whole body flushed as Karkat claimed him.

"You're _mine_ , babyboy. _Mine._ " His tone was rough and deep, John hiccuping on a sob as he rocked his hips back against Karkat's.

"Yours, Daddy, _I'm yours…_ " He gasped and arched up as Karkat wrapped an arm around his chest and lifted him, spreading his knees further so he was splayed wide and then fucking up into him in harsh slaps. John clawed at the arm across his chest, screaming as his prostate was jabbed repeatedly, Karkat huffing against his neck and shoulder and leaving little kisses against his slick skin.

"You like that, baby? That feel good?"

"Daddy! Daddy I'm gonna cum!"

Karkat groaned and quickened his pace, his other hand holding John's hip firmly while he bucked into him with loud wet slaps, moaning heatedly at the way John's body was tightening around him. "You're such a good boy, aren't you baby? Such a good boy for Daddy? You gonna cum?"

"Yes! Yes!" John gasped, laying his head back against Karkat's shoulder and staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes. " _Yes Daddy, I'm cumming_!"

" _Good boy_ , John." Karkat praised against the shell of his ear, feeling John tighten drastically around him as he shrieked, his lithe body convulsing violently as he came directly from prostate stimulation, his neglected cock remaining untouched. John jerked his hips roughly while his twitching cock spurted profusely across the sheets and pillows beneath them, marking John's stomach and Karkat's arm with his release, his chest heaving as he sobbed brokenly. "That's it, babyboy. You feel so good around me…" He kissed at John's neck and kept thrusting into him, meeting each of John's insistent jerks, jabbing against his sweet spot with each thrust and causing John to practically scream from the overstimulation.

"Red! Red!" He whined and Karkat quickly slowed his movements, John sobbing and shivering as he rested back against his chest, trying to catch his breath. "I'm sorry, just give me a second…"

Karkat shushed him softly, kissing his shoulder slowly. "You're alright, baby. Don't be sorry. Do you want me to pull out?"

John whined and shook his head, clinging to Karkat's arm weakly, hot tears dripping down his cheeks. "No I want...I want you to cum in me...I just…"

"Easy baby, let me lay you down okay?" He rubbed against John's side and hips, kissing his shoulders and nape slowly. "Relax for me. I'll give you what you want, I promise."

John bit his lip, nodding and sniffing while reaching up to wipe at his hot cheeks, relaxing back against Karkat's chest once more, his body still swimming with afterglow. He closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths and focusing on the sensation of stray tears dripping down his neck and chest, and after a few blissful moments of fuzzy static he felt Karkat shifting. He gasped a little, blinking open his eyes, tense and unsteady until he realized Karkat was lowering him against the sheets, letting out a breath and resting beneath him. Karkat was still buried inside him to the hilt, throbbing insistently, the older boy carefully keeping his weight off of John with his forearms, laying against him so they were pressed together fully. Lazy doggy. This would be slower, gentle. Intimate. John blushed a bit and hummed softly, relaxing and wiggling his hips a little, saying softly, "Green, Daddy…"

"Alright baby, relax…" He kissed his neck slowly, bucking his hips and drinking in John's moans as he built a steady pace, John's toes curling as he found his prostate again, rubbing against it gently with every thrust.

"Daddy! Daddy _fuck_! Feels so good…!"

"You feel good too, baby…" He whispered, carefully kissing against the bite mark he'd left against John's shoulder, the boy beneath him gasping and whining loudly, shivering. Karkat shifted down a bit and spread his thighs wider, bucking into him quicker as he climbed towards his release, groaning deeply. "Fuck, _fuck_ you feel so good, clenching around me so tight…"

"Daddy!" John whined while rocking back against him, his legs shaking, "Feels good, _feels so good_!" Karkat kept rubbing right against his prostate, bringing him quickly towards another release, his weeping cock trapped against his stomach and the messy sheets. "I'm gonna cum again! Gonna cum…" He rutted against the sheets and tightened around Karkat, arching again and crying out loudly, right on the edge, so close he could taste it.

"Good boy, John. Good boy." He bucked his hips faster, fingers gripping tight enough to leave bruises as he held his hips and thrust roughly, crying out sharply as he felt his orgasm wash over him from head to toe. " _Fuck! Fuck, baby! Oh fuck yes!_ "

John gasped and rocked back against the feeling of that liquid fire spilling inside him, moaning and jerking his hips against the sheets, desperate to find release. Karkat groaned heatedly and bucked into him a few more solid, deep thrusts before his hips began to still, leaning down to kiss at John's abused shoulder. The younger boy whined softly, wriggling his hips and trying to reach between his legs to touch himself. "Wanna cum, Daddy! Wanna cum too…"

Karkat hummed and rolled onto his side, tugging John back with him, reaching around and wrapping his fingers around his swollen cock and jerking him slowly while thrusting into him nice and deep, panting against his ear softly, "Cum for me, babyboy. Cum for Daddy."

Every muscle inside of him tensed and he cried out sharply, spilling over Karkat's hand. The older boy shushed him gently as he sobbed and jerked his hips back against his cock, clinging to his wrist and the sheets desperately, convulsing as his body was overstimulated again, Karkat milking him through his climax gently. Eventually John's body went limp and he became a shuddering mess of misfiring nerves against Karkat's chest, panting softly as Karkat carded his fingers through his damp hair and kissed across his sweaty skin, letting his mind go blank. He wasn't sure how long he lay there semi-conscious before Karkat slowly withdrew and rose from the sticky sheets, John too far gone to be concerned with what he was doing or where he was going. He listened to his footsteps fade away absently, barely able to move. His tongue was tacky and he ached all over, and he was pretty sure his shoulder might be bleeding. He was thoroughly and completely wrecked. He'd never been more satisfied in his entire life.

He gasped a little when he felt the mattress dip, blinking his eyes open slowly and focusing on Karkat, those storm-grey eyes watching him gently as Karkat brought a cup of water to his lips. "Drink this baby, you're dehydrated." John whined softly at the prospect of moving, but gingerly pushed himself up enough to tilt his head back so Karkat could let him drink, swallowing a few mouthfuls gratefully, excess water trickling down his neck. He panted softly as Karkat pulled the cup away, his warm, gentle fingers brushing John's sweaty bangs back from his forehead before saying softly, "A little more, that's it." John whined, taking another sip as Karkat coaxed him gently, still not able to think straight but following his soft commands dutifully. He just wanted to lay down and let his mind go blank, he was completely exhausted, his whole body tingly and numb. "You're alright, babyboy. Drink this for me, then you can rest."

John hummed and tilted his head back again when Karkat pressed the cup to his lips once more, and only when he had finished the entire glass did Karkat allow him to lay back down again. He set the cup aside and moved to the other side of the bed, finding his phone and tugging down a few pillows from the headboard. He lifted John's head, letting him rest against his arm and a pillow as he liked while he curled up behind him, tugging the closest sheet up over their naked bodies while they spooned. John could hear him texting for a few minutes before he set the phone aside and wrapped his arms around him, John humming and leaning back against Karkat, the other boy petting his hair gently and whispering soft praises.

"You did so good for me, baby. Such a good boy." He kissed at his shoulder and neck, inhaling against his warm skin. "You feeling good? You have fun with me?"

John hummed, nodding and reaching down to pet at the arm across his waist, finding Karkat's hand and linking their fingers gently. "That was amazing…" John whispered softly, blinking back at Karkat tiredly, letting out a soft sigh with a smile curving up his lips. "I never thought...my first time…"

"Was it what you wanted?" Karkat asked gently, watching his expression with soft eyes.

"It was _exactly_ what I wanted," John said happily, giggling a bit when Karkat grinned and leaned over him to kiss at his cheek. "You have _no idea_ the types of fantasies that run through my mind on the daily, and you went along with several of my favorites without question…" He met Karkat's eyes, blushing and asking curiously, "Does being called Daddy really turn you on? Or was that just for me?"

"Oh. It turns me on." Karkat laughed, watching the way John's cheeks began to flush pink with a teasing grin and leaning down to kiss his lips gently. "I'm glad you had a good time. That was...really good for me, too. I'm glad I got to share that experience with you." He glanced away a bit, tracing his fingers against John's and nuzzling against his shoulder, asking softly, "Did you want to do this again? Maybe on a regular basis?"

John blushed a bit, watching Karkat carefully. "Like...friends with benefits?"

Karkat hummed, meeting his eyes. "For now." He leaned down and kissed John's cheek again, whispering softly, "Maybe, depending on how things progress, you might consider dating me?" John's whole face turned pink, and Karkat chuckled softly, watching him with an affectionate smile. "Would you like that, baby?"

"Yes…" He said shyly, looking up and meeting Karkat's eyes. "I'd like that…"

"Good." Karkat kissed him again, their lips moving together slowly, John humming and rolling over a bit so he could kiss him at a better angle. They stayed like that a while, sharing sweet kisses and breathing in one another's air, and then Karkat pulled back a bit, squeezing his fingers while his other hand played with his messy hair. "There are some things I need to talk to you about, before we discuss dating." His eyes were a little sad, and he leaned down and pressed his forehead to John's shoulder, his voice muffled slightly as he spoke. "The first person I ever fell in love with, my first boyfriend, I haven't really...moved on from him. Not completely. I don't think it would be fair to you to ask you to be my boyfriend without telling you about him first." He looked up and met John's eyes, his expression apologetic. "It's hard for me to talk about. Will you give me some time?"

"Of course." John said, arching his brow a bit and reaching up to touch Karkat's face, stroking his cheek slowly. "I like the idea of dating you, of you being my boyfriend, but I also realize romantic feelings like that can take time to develop." He searched his eyes, smiling up at him while adding softly, "I understand you're demiromantic, I'm more than willing to wait for you. Take all the time you need." He leaned up and gave him a soft kiss, whispering gently, "I'm not going anywhere."

The older boy's expression was soft and warm. "Thank you. It means a lot to me, hearing you say that." Karkat sighed softly, turning his face to kiss at John's palm, his eyes closing as he leaned into his touch. John watched him with a soft smile, heart fluttering as Karkat looked down at him once more, his expression affectionate and tender. John leaned up again for another kiss, pulling Karkat down to him, wondering what had happened to the boy that he had loved before, and wondering why he wasn't here at this moment in John's stead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics: The Veronicas - Untouched
> 
> Thanks for reading! More to come!


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